I miss being a waiter

[Anonymous]

The best time I ever had working was waitressing my way through college and grad school. I was good at it. I made good money. I loved being part of a team, I loved interacting with customers, I loved how fast-paced it was. Every night when service ended I felt like we just won a battle. It was exhausting and gratifying.

I'm 42 now. Still fit and active. I hate working in an office. I feel confined. I can't imagine doing this for the rest of my life. I have this recurring fantasy of going back to waitering. Am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

No. It's so stressful, but I love it and miss it too!

[Anonymous]

Pp here - maybe open a small diner or something?

[Anonymous]

Yes, because even if you are as energetic and mentally nimble as when you were 25, which is biologically impossible, you will probably not have the same rapport with the rest of the staff, who will probably be much younger and not view you in the same light. Heck, your manager will be much younger. You might be perfectly happy with that, but maybe they won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, because even if you are as energetic and mentally nimble as when you were 25, which is biologically impossible, you will probably not have the same rapport with the rest of the staff, who will probably be much younger and not view you in the same light. Heck, your manager will be much younger. You might be perfectly happy with that, but maybe they won't.

In France waitering is considered a real profession with a real art to it and people do it for life. My husband grew up in Paris. Last year we went back and had dinner at a restaurant where he ate as a kid in the 1980s. Several of the waiters still worked there and recognized him (they were easily in their 60s)!

[Anonymous]

This is funny. I loved loved loved waitressing. You describe it exactly right - it does feel like a battle, every night. And then you'd go out with your friends with all that cash and stay out so late and have so much fun.

To this day, when I have stress dreams (I'm a lawyer now, btw) I'm waitressing and don't know the codes for the computer and haven't tried the new items on the menu and can't recall the table numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, because even if you are as energetic and mentally nimble as when you were 25, which is biologically impossible, you will probably not have the same rapport with the rest of the staff, who will probably be much younger and not view you in the same light. Heck, your manager will be much younger. You might be perfectly happy with that, but maybe they won't.

In France waitering is considered a real profession with a real art to it and people do it for life. My husband grew up in Paris. Last year we went back and had dinner at a restaurant where he ate as a kid in the 1980s. Several of the waiters still worked there and recognized him (they were easily in their 60s)!

I know, I'm Parisian! But we were talking about waitressing in the US, weren't we?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is funny. I loved loved loved waitressing. You describe it exactly right - it does feel like a battle, every night. And then you'd go out with your friends with all that cash and stay out so late and have so much fun.

To this day, when I have stress dreams (I'm a lawyer now, btw) I'm waitressing and don't know the codes for the computer and haven't tried the new items on the menu and can't recall the table numbers.

I have dreams that the restaurant would fill up and no matter what I did I couldn't get food to the tables.... I asked on of the cooks once if he had bad dreams - his was of a stove full of pans of food and he couldn't cook fast enough and everything was burning...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is funny. I loved loved loved waitressing. You describe it exactly right - it does feel like a battle, every night. And then you'd go out with your friends with all that cash and stay out so late and have so much fun.

To this day, when I have stress dreams (I'm a lawyer now, btw) I'm waitressing and don't know the codes for the computer and haven't tried the new items on the menu and can't recall the table numbers.

+1! I have the same stress dreams about waitressing (I'm not a layer though so maybe +0.5?). The other awesome thing about waiting tables in my experience is that people who go out to eat are generally in a good mood - they're going out to have some fun, to enjoy themselves. So for the most part you're around people who are up. Now where I work (also in an office) I'm generally interacting with people who are stressed about insurance and very, very unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, because even if you are as energetic and mentally nimble as when you were 25, which is biologically impossible, you will probably not have the same rapport with the rest of the staff, who will probably be much younger and not view you in the same light. Heck, your manager will be much younger. You might be perfectly happy with that, but maybe they won't.

In France waitering is considered a real profession with a real art to it and people do it for life. My husband grew up in Paris. Last year we went back and had dinner at a restaurant where he ate as a kid in the 1980s. Several of the waiters still worked there and recognized him (they were easily in their 60s)!

I know, I'm Parisian! But we were talking about waitressing in the US, weren't we?

Yes. There's actually a movement to make waiting tables more of a profession in the USA than a transitional type of job. There are restaurateurs who now pay their wait staff a good wage and eliminate tipping. I for one prefer the way things are done in France and wish it was the same here….

[Anonymous]

I vacillate between missing the service industry, because I worked in it during a time in my life when I was young and unencumbered, and sometimes that seems more appealing than my current life. I was good at it too--my favorite was when I had a table of grumpy mean people show up, and by the end of the meal they were smiling and happy and trying to adopt me.

I do not miss having no stability in my income, no paid vacation, no health insurance, or being treated like I was stupid because I was a server. Most of my nightmares/stress dreams involve me having to return to serving and how disappointed I am in myself.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I miss it too, but I always remember what relief I felt when I got a job with stable hours and PAID LEAVE. Oh, and when I'm sick or want a day off, I just...take the day off. No scrambling to find a replacement, no worry g that they'll start scheduling me less in retaliation.

I also miss working as a cook in a diner. I found it so peaceful to be at the warm grill on a cold winter morning, flipping pancakes and making omelets. Even during the rush, you just get in that zone. It's such a different mindset than working an office job. But again, I prefer the stability of a regular 9-5.

[Anonymous]

OP, you could get on the schedule a couple times a month for a catering company. Some pay really well.

[Anonymous]

I have friends in the restaurant industry, in their 40s and 50s. Some are highly regarded sous chefs, one executive chef (not as physically demanding). I am friends with a full time server nearing 50. The sous chef wants out, it's just so physically draining. The server still loves his job and is the type to see it as an art, but I worry about what he'll do in his later years with no savings, mo retirement plan, etc. So, while there are things to enjoy, it's much harder when you're older.

[Anonymous]

There was as Dear Prudence chat on Slate about this recently - one person wrote in saying they'd made a great career out of it, another said she was 60 - exhausted being on her feet all day, had no benefits to see her through to medicare etc. Based on those 2 individuals it sounds like it can be a nice career but like any physical labor you need a plan for when you can no longer physically endure it