Where did the "saw your nanny" Rockville post go?

[Anonymous]

Saw it yesterday, came back to reply and it was gone. Those posts can be useful.

[jsteele]

I have a strong dislike of such posts. I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums, but nobody ever wants to post them there. I am not able to move posts from this forum to the Nanny Forum, so if such posts are posted here, I will normally delete them.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:I have a strong dislike of such posts. I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums, but nobody ever wants to post them there. I am not able to move posts from this forum to the Nanny Forum, so if such posts are posted here, I will normally delete them.

New poster here – why? I'm sure there are a lot of posts you dislike. They aren't posted to be cruel. I know it's your right, but it seems a little strange.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:I have a strong dislike of such posts. I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums, but nobody ever wants to post them there. I am not able to move posts from this forum to the Nanny Forum, so if such posts are posted here, I will normally delete them.

New poster here – why? I'm sure there are a lot of posts you dislike. They aren't posted to be cruel. I know it's your right, but it seems a little strange.

I've been dealing with "I saw your nanny" posts for years. At one time, we even had a specific forum for them. Rather than trying to explain all the reasons that I dislike them, I'll just say that my experience with such threads has generally not been positive and has conditioned me to have fairly strong feelings against them. But, as I said, I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums section. In the main forums section, I have done all that I can to make posters aware that nanny-related posts are not appropriate. "I saw your nanny posts" don't get an exception.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:I have a strong dislike of such posts. I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums, but nobody ever wants to post them there. I am not able to move posts from this forum to the Nanny Forum, so if such posts are posted here, I will normally delete them.

New poster here – why? I'm sure there are a lot of posts you dislike. They aren't posted to be cruel. I know it's your right, but it seems a little strange.

I've been dealing with "I saw your nanny" posts for years. At one time, we even had a specific forum for them. Rather than trying to explain all the reasons that I dislike them, I'll just say that my experience with such threads has generally not been positive and has conditioned me to have fairly strong feelings against them. But, as I said, I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums section. In the main forums section, I have done all that I can to make posters aware that nanny-related posts are not appropriate. "I saw your nanny posts" don't get an exception.

It just would never get the intended audience - which is parents who might see info that would help their child be safer. I can see that you don't want the forum to become all about that, but I can't imagine there are THAT many posts. I'd feel guilty deleting info that could help a child who may not be in a safe situation - youve created a popular forum, and a degree of responsibility comes with that, IMO.

[Anonymous]

The Nanny Forum is absolutely useless.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:I have a strong dislike of such posts. I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums, but nobody ever wants to post them there. I am not able to move posts from this forum to the Nanny Forum, so if such posts are posted here, I will normally delete them.

New poster here – why? I'm sure there are a lot of posts you dislike. They aren't posted to be cruel. I know it's your right, but it seems a little strange.

I've been dealing with "I saw your nanny" posts for years. At one time, we even had a specific forum for them. Rather than trying to explain all the reasons that I dislike them, I'll just say that my experience with such threads has generally not been positive and has conditioned me to have fairly strong feelings against them. But, as I said, I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums section. In the main forums section, I have done all that I can to make posters aware that nanny-related posts are not appropriate. "I saw your nanny posts" don't get an exception.

It just would never get the intended audience - which is parents who might see info that would help their child be safer. I can see that you don't want the forum to become all about that, but I can't imagine there are THAT many posts. I'd feel guilty deleting info that could help a child who may not be in a safe situation - youve created a popular forum, and a degree of responsibility comes with that, IMO.

This is the sort of response that makes me reluctant to even discuss this topic. Every single time this topic comes up, someone tries to guilt trip me. It's the old, "will nobody think of the children?" plea. First of all, in every case that I can remember, the amount of danger a child was facing was debatable. Moreover, if a child was truly endangered, a caring observer should be willing to do more than post an anonymous message on DCUM. As I mentioned above, this is not a topic that just came up today. I've been dealing with this for years. We've had several discussions right here in website feedback about the topic. The way we address this type of post is not rash or uncaring. It is a result of lots of experience.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:I have a strong dislike of such posts. I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums, but nobody ever wants to post them there. I am not able to move posts from this forum to the Nanny Forum, so if such posts are posted here, I will normally delete them.

New poster here – why? I'm sure there are a lot of posts you dislike. They aren't posted to be cruel. I know it's your right, but it seems a little strange.

I've been dealing with "I saw your nanny" posts for years. At one time, we even had a specific forum for them. Rather than trying to explain all the reasons that I dislike them, I'll just say that my experience with such threads has generally not been positive and has conditioned me to have fairly strong feelings against them. But, as I said, I will tolerate them in the Nanny Forums section. In the main forums section, I have done all that I can to make posters aware that nanny-related posts are not appropriate. "I saw your nanny posts" don't get an exception.

It just would never get the intended audience - which is parents who might see info that would help their child be safer. I can see that you don't want the forum to become all about that, but I can't imagine there are THAT many posts. I'd feel guilty deleting info that could help a child who may not be in a safe situation - youve created a popular forum, and a degree of responsibility comes with that, IMO.

This is the sort of response that makes me reluctant to even discuss this topic. Every single time this topic comes up, someone tries to guilt trip me. It's the old, "will nobody think of the children?" plea. First of all, in every case that I can remember, the amount of danger a child was facing was debatable. Moreover, if a child was truly endangered, a caring observer should be willing to do more than post an anonymous message on DCUM. As I mentioned above, this is not a topic that just came up today. I've been dealing with this for years. We've had several discussions right here in website feedback about the topic. The way we address this type of post is not rash or uncaring. It is a result of lots of experience.

Your site, your choice. I'd disagree that it's not uncaring.

[Anonymous]

Mom here, who employs a nanny, and I agree with Jeff. I have seen those kinds of posting and I usually find them quite problematic.

If there are serious concerns there are far more reliable, fast, responsive ways to address a concern about a child and a caregiver. Often the posts here are unsubstantiated, unfair, inconclusive, highly subject to judgment or perception and just lead to unpleasant discussions of ethnicity or parenting choices.

Totally supportive of Jeff's decisions re this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom here, who employs a nanny, and I agree with Jeff. I have seen those kinds of posting and I usually find them quite problematic.

If there are serious concerns there are far more reliable, fast, responsive ways to address a concern about a child and a caregiver. Often the posts here are unsubstantiated, unfair, inconclusive, highly subject to judgment or perception and just lead to unpleasant discussions of ethnicity or parenting choices.

Totally supportive of Jeff's decisions re this issue.

+1!

[Anonymous]

I think if they become overwhelming in number or offensive regarding ethnicity, sure, delete them. But plenty of things are posted here that many don't like, including discussions of specific teachers / administrators / service providers etc. Part of having a public board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom here, who employs a nanny, and I agree with Jeff. I have seen those kinds of posting and I usually find them quite problematic.

If there are serious concerns there are far more reliable, fast, responsive ways to address a concern about a child and a caregiver. Often the posts here are unsubstantiated, unfair, inconclusive, highly subject to judgment or perception and just lead to unpleasant discussions of ethnicity or parenting choices.

Totally supportive of Jeff's decisions re this issue.

+1!

+2. To me, there is also a privacy concern. If you put enough information out there for a parent to identify a child/nanny, you probably also put enough information out there to make the family identifiable to friends and neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom here, who employs a nanny, and I agree with Jeff. I have seen those kinds of posting and I usually find them quite problematic.

If there are serious concerns there are far more reliable, fast, responsive ways to address a concern about a child and a caregiver. Often the posts here are unsubstantiated, unfair, inconclusive, highly subject to judgment or perception and just lead to unpleasant discussions of ethnicity or parenting choices.

Totally supportive of Jeff's decisions re this issue.

+1!

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom here, who employs a nanny, and I agree with Jeff. I have seen those kinds of posting and I usually find them quite problematic.

If there are serious concerns there are far more reliable, fast, responsive ways to address a concern about a child and a caregiver. Often the posts here are unsubstantiated, unfair, inconclusive, highly subject to judgment or perception and just lead to unpleasant discussions of ethnicity or parenting choices.

Totally supportive of Jeff's decisions re this issue.

Agreed. Particularly about the ethnic issue. I see mediocre parenting every day, but I don't report it on DCUM because it looks like the parents doing it. The only time one can be confident it is a nanny is when the kids and the nanny don't "match." Of course, this disregards all the ways in which a family might be created, but it also subjects nannies to a much higher standard than moms.

I'm confident that someone has seen me chatting with another mom, or screwing around on my phone, while at the park with my child. But no one is reporting me because my child and I match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom here, who employs a nanny, and I agree with Jeff. I have seen those kinds of posting and I usually find them quite problematic.

If there are serious concerns there are far more reliable, fast, responsive ways to address a concern about a child and a caregiver. Often the posts here are unsubstantiated, unfair, inconclusive, highly subject to judgment or perception and just lead to unpleasant discussions of ethnicity or parenting choices.

Totally supportive of Jeff's decisions re this issue.

Agreed. Particularly about the ethnic issue. I see mediocre parenting every day, but I don't report it on DCUM because it looks like the parents doing it. The only time one can be confident it is a nanny is when the kids and the nanny don't "match." Of course, this disregards all the ways in which a family might be created, but it also subjects nannies to a much higher standard than moms.

I'm confident that someone has seen me chatting with another mom, or screwing around on my phone, while at the park with my child. But no one is reporting me because my child and I match.

You aren't hired to take care of your child.