Does it ever seem like your kid's therapist is judging you?
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Anonymous
| Title says it all. I like our OT but DS with HFA always seems to go a little bonkers in the waiting room (fine in the car before and fine after) but I think it's the transition and excitement about being there. At the end he does the same which I finally figured out is largely because a)he's hungry and tired by then and b) usually he has to pee and won't tell her. I've tried problem solving with him and today I fed him an entire meal before he went in but the timing is such that it's right at lunch time so when he came out and went home he ate another full lunch. I think I handle it fine by staying calm and trying to direct him to more positive behavior but our OT always stands there with her arms folded and watches me like I'm doing something wrong. It irritates me because I feel like she could either step in and offer ideas or leave, especially when it happens at the end since OT is over and we're just collecting ourselves to go home. I also feel like she's made a few comments here and there if I haven't been doing something fully over the week. I really do try but like most of us there's a lot on my plate and DS already occupies the majority of my time and energy so if I do 80% of what we're supposed to it's because I'm also doing stuff for speech, coordinating with the school, dealing with insurance and all the other stuff that goes on. Anyway, just venting I guess b/c I wish she would either help or at least not make it seem like she knows better but isn't telling me. I've thought about saying something but not sure how to do it so the irritated part of me doesn't come through. |
Anonymous
| She is probably not thinking about you at all, but her next patient, what she's getting from Potbelly's for lunch, etc. You are probably just feeling overly self-conscious. |
Anonymous
I feel like everyone is judging me at drop offs, pick ups etc.. I am not on year 3 and it bothers me a lot less. 
Don't stress. Your doing just fine and the PP is probably right that she is thinking about 1001 other things.
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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Well, what is it that he does exactly, and how to you respond? |
Anonymous
| I move on if I find the person too judgmental. I have been on the other side as a teacher (not an OT) and yes, some teachers are way too judgmental of parents. It's usually either people without kids or those who are veterans and have developed a God complex. This is NOT to say all people in those categories are judgy. In fact some of the best teachers are in those categories. Just saying from my experience, those who are judgy mostly fit into one of those 2 categories. |
Anonymous
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"OT,
Good morning! I wanted to ask if you could incorporate some strategies for drop off/pick up from OT. As I'm sure you've noted, DC has a really difficult time at both ends of therapy. Any ideas from your end on how we could help make this a better transition? It can only help maximize the benefit of your excellent therapy, I'm sure. Thanks in advance! |
Anonymous
This, but ask for exactly what you need: (after the appointment) "Thanks for another great session! Would you mind to give us some space? We're working on transitions and Joey seems to do better without an audience. See you next week!" |
Anonymous
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OP,
You sound stressed and exhausted. It's hard and I don't think your OT is judging you. I think you forget that OTs see kids like your DC all day long. Yes, it is there job, like your job is being a parent, but you can't expect them to solve problems for you if you don't speak up. Just as a general rule, take your kid to the bathroom b/f the appointment either once you get there or b/f you leave home even if he doesn't say he needs to go. |
Anonymous
Do you actually think the therapy is "excellent" because if you don't I would not include that. I am all for kissing ass, but I only give genuine compliments. A good OT would know to help ease the transition and would not blame the parent. If your kid didn't have any issues, your DC wouldn't need OT. I would ask for strategies and also explain how overextended you are. If you are met with arrogance and useless feedback, move on. |
Anonymous
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^^ PP here, I wrote that because OP said she liked the OT and her child was excited to be there.
Otherwise I agree it's too much |
Anonymous
The OT didn't "blame the parent." The OP just feels that way. Most OTs know parents are overextended, but may not recognize the OP is struggling with her kid. So many kids act like this, it's hard to tell sometimes which parents are fine internally and others who are just spent. |
Anonymous
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Op I empathize. My dc saw several different ots throughout the years and of all the professionals we dealt with, the ots were some of the most frustrating to deal with. The ots, along with school teachers, were the least knowledgeable about disabilities. Our first ot outside of the nicu was was a 20 something with a god complex who always acted like we weren't doing enough at home. She didn't have children and was unrealistic about what homework young elementary aged dc could get accomplished. Most of the specialists my dc saw expected us to make their subject THE most important thing in our lives. My dc was young with an early bed time and we had different therapy sessions 4-5 days a week. I feel your pain and would try to get on the list with another ot.
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Anonymous
| At the very least, op, you should address the behavior that is bothering you. I would ask her why she is standing with her arms folded staring and I would tell her how she makes me feel when she acts that way. Frankly, she sounds like a little bit of an ass. It's great to be thankful for the help your child is receiving but I'd very honestly evaluate her. |
Anonymous
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I'm grumpy today so I may sound like an ass, but here goes. Now that I've been at this for years as a parent and have gotten to know the specialists (and have found my mostly dream team), I can tell you, many of these people have their own issues. This was actually told to me by specialists-some disclosing their own issues and others saying it about others out there in general. Often this makes them more empathetic, but sometimes it interferes.
So, she may have no clue how her body language comes across. She may also just not know how to deal. I've been in many an OT waiting room and this stuff happens all the time. Usually the OT looks to the parents to be respectful, but when the parent is struggling I have seen the OT jump in and say something to the child while clearly showing she is a team with the parents and not looking down on them. We once had an OT complain about DC's anxiety and this poor woman was so visibly anxious most of the time, even as she was meeting with other parents before our child's session started. The professional needs to manage her/his own issues so as to be as calm and reassuring and in control as possible for the child. Sorry to ramble. |