Feeling Discouraged

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant without medical intervention last year but we had to terminate the pregnancy due to a fatal defect. We have been TTC now for about 7 months. I started seeing a RE and was diagnosed with a luteal phase defect. I did one round of timed intercourse with Bravelle that didn't work. I was devastated that it didn't work. I was so sure all I needed was this boost.

I feel like there is no reason I shouldn't be getting pregnant. Although I am 40, I've been pregnant before (the one mentioned above and an accident at 18 and a birth control failure at 32) I don't have any children. I have low FSH, good estrogen numbers, ovulate regularly, do not have endometriosis, fibroids or PCOS. My husband is perfectly healthy with great numbers I also take good care of myself exercising at least 5 days a week and I eat healthy.

I am feeling like I will never be pregnant again. Here is the real issue, I feel like I'm not getting pregnant because I'm trying too hard, so to speak. You know all those stories of women who tried for years to get pregnant and then they adopt and bam they end up pregnant? (This happened to my stepsister and she was only 23 when she and her husband started trying and then they adopted a little girl and she got pregnant 2 months later.) I feel like I'm so tense, it's not happening. I'm afraid of trying IVF because of this issue. I'm normally a pretty positive person.

I did make an accupuncture appointment, if for no other reason, than to relax me. I feel like if I could somehow not be focused on TTC it would happen, but how does one not focus on it when you are taking megadoses of folic and giving yourself shots every day. My husband thinks I should see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

Isn't it a cruel paradox? If you just didn't WANT it so much, you might get it. How do you make yourself not want it and not get stressed out because it's not happening? It used to drive me crazy.

I have no advice about how to deal with the stress -- or how hard to try/not try to conceive. But I do have one piece of advice on diagnosis of your problem.

You say that you check out fine, and that your husband is "healthy with great numbers." I assume you mean sperm count, mobility, and notility. You sound a lot like my husband and me.

What we found out (2 years, lots of pain and money later) was that our clinic (Shady Grove) hadn't done everything they could do determine the cause of the problem. There were other tests they could have run to determine whether there was a genetic disorder on either side. Turns out that that kind of problem DID exist for us.

It would have been SO much easier for them to do those tests on my husband (simple case of giving a "sample") than to put me what they did. When they finally did their job, we were told that DH had chromosonal translocation disorder affecting more than 60% of his sperm.

My advice is to go through a thorough diagnosis process. At least you'll know what you're up against.

[Anonymous]

PP, what is chromosonal translocation disorder and how is it manifested?

My SG doc doesn't think there is anything wrong with DH because I've gotten pregnant before (one m/c and one child), but DH's numbers are sometimes subpar (lower counts, slightly subpar motility) I wonder if there is an issue with him.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am curious about the translocation disorder. I've gotten pregnant twice by my husband. Once we exercised my right to choose (many years ago and during the time his mother was literally on her death bed and we weren't married and weren't sure we were going to last) and the other we terminated last year because the baby had anencephaly. We had the tissue analyzed and there were no chromosomal abnormalities. My husband has only had one analysis done and sperm count, motility and morphology were all excellent.

I really think its me, not him. By the way, I've had genetic testing for al the Jewish issues.