IEP Meetings - Do we have to attend?
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Anonymous
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DS is in MoCo and has been on an IEP for 7 years.
We never really minded going to the annual review meetings as they were usually pretty painless and went by pretty quickly. That said, his 3 year IEP meeting was this past May, and it was unusually and surprisingly contentious, stressful, and there were lots of raised voices. I almost reached over the table and strangled the school psych. I walked out of there never, ever wanting to attend another meeting, crying and shaking. I won't go into the details about what happened at the meeting as its irrelevant to my question. We are wondering if it's required by law that we, or at least one of us (mom or dad) attend any future IEP meetings. I'd rather just sign the IEP document agreeing to services. If we are required to attend, I guess I could just keep rescheduling the meeting so that we never end up meeting but that's passive aggressive and pointless. I've already looked online to see if I can get an answer to my question, but no luck. Thanks |
Anonymous
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No, you are not required to attend. The school will hold the meeting without you.
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. It is likely that if it's not a requalifying meeting the same school psychologist will not be there. Not that it matters, but the only bad experiences we've ever had in MCPS with IEP and SN issues was with the school psychologists. MCPS has some really good ones, but there are others who are awful. Both times we had bad ones, in subsequent years after drawing one of the bad ones, the newly assigned psychologist has apologized for what happened in previous years. |
Anonymous
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If your previous meeting was contentious and upsetting, that must mean that the school wanted to do/not do things differently from what you wanted. If you're not there, the school will do whatever it wants to do, even if you don't think it's what's best for your child.
I know IEP meetings can be unpleasant, but your child needs you to advocate for him/her. Please don't let the school make all the decisions. |
Anonymous
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Who will advocate for your child if you are not there???????????????? |
Anonymous
| A lot of people hire advocates to be the bad guy in the parent's place. You can't not go--how could you even consider this? |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thank you for the replies.
Correct, the upcoming meetings will not be a requalifying meeting at least not for another 3 years. And yes, it was the school "psych" (who should not be called a school psychologist because she only has her Masters) who turned the meeting into a shit-show. I guess she was there because it was his 3 year meeting. As for advocating, I am my DS' BIGGEST and MOST STAUNCH advocate. No stone goes unturned when it comes to his education and life in general. His IEP has for the most part not changed very much over the years. So there is nothing to advocate for. All the services he should be getting are outlined in the IEP already, but that doesn't mean that they are actually implemented. So real "advocacy" happens at the classroom level and not at the IEP meeting. We all know that the IEP can list all sorts accommodations, but its only worth the paper its written on if its not implemented in the classroom....which is why I feel like these meetings are a time and resource suck for all involved. Thanks again. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. If you are not at the IEP meeting, they could propose changes to his services! Decreases, etc. if you don't want to go, you could send an advocate in your place to look out for your interests. |
Anonymous
Thank you. Good point, but I am fairly certain (I could be wrong) that we have to sign off on any changes. And no changes can be implemented until we sign. So they can attempt whatever they want but nothing will happen unless we agree to it. Again I could be totally wrong here. If I am, I would certainly consider sending an advocate in our stead. |
Anonymous
| This is the PP who recommended the advocate. If you think services aren't being implemented then you can ask for some kind of log or more frequent communication/accounting system to prove that they are. You might need some fresh thinking about what can be written into the IEP. And yes, Moco calls the school counselors psychologists. Totally bogus. |
Anonymous
What jurisdiction? Both MD and DC have removed the parent signature requirement. |
Anonymous
| I would talk to them and tell them that you are reluctant to go as the meeting is pointless when nothing has changed and they are not willing to listen to your concerns and work with your child in a meaningful way. Maybe you can appear by phone. I would not duck it. |
Anonymous
MoCo. |
Anonymous
Actually, this isn't how it works any more. They can make changes even if you don't sign. You only have to sign off on the initial IEP. You need to be at the IEP meetings! |
Anonymous
| In moco your signature is only needed for the initial iep. They can change it however they want if you are not there! I strongly recommend going with an advocate. They are do much more reasonable when an advocate is present and he/she can set a positive tone for the meeting. |
Anonymous
No surprise here. Never met a good school psych yet. They are undertrained with egos the size of Mac trucks. |