Elderly Care

[Anonymous]

I’m curious how your elderly care works? My grandma is in her 90s, blind (95%) and somewhat deaf. She really needs someone to be with her and make sure she eats, bathes, doesn’t fall. She’s not in a wheelchair and doesn’t need help bathing or personal care. We’re trying to figure out a solution to keep her in her own home like she wants. She has a daytime helper for 4 hours a day, but needs more. Do they have something like an au pair for elderly (someone that lives with you and provides minimal care)? We will still keep her daytime helper. I see elderly often out shopping or to dinner with their helpers/nurses, how does that work?

We’re trying to think of solutions for her and I know there’s many options out there that we aren’t thinking of. One of her grandchildren had moved in with her to help her while they went to college, but grandma saw it as “mooching” instead of them living there for her benefit.

[Anonymous]

I would start by contacting your local Council on Aging.

[Anonymous]

Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

My parents are in assisted living. They don't "need" wheelchairs but they do have those walkers with a seat so they can sit down if they need to.

Yes, they wanted to live in their own home and they resisted moving to assisted living, but in the end they had to concede it was necessary. For a while they had a nurse coming in three times a week to help with bathing, but that just wasn't viable over the long term.

[Anonymous]

What you are asking for is 24/7 private duty care. You will have to pay for this, hourly, just like you would a nanny. You would be lucky to find someone without skills, meaning not a nursing assistant, for $10-12/hour.
People that have the money hire 3 shifts, such as 3pm to 11, 11pm to 7 am and 7 am to 3 pm.

IMO a blind 90 year old woman living alone is a broken hip waiting to happen, if you can't afford 24/7 care you need to look into an assisted living

[Anonymous]

To answer your question, PP here, the elderly you see out are with their private duty aides or with an aide from their Assisted living or nursing home.

At my family's ALF, the aides will take them out in small groups or you can hire a company called Centerpiece to hire a 1:1.

[Anonymous]

You could try Comfort Keepers. They were a lifesaver for us.

[Anonymous]

There can be very good social benefits for moving. At the retirement complex, my Mom has more contact with people in one day walking down the hall to breakfast than she use to have in a week living at home. If carefully selected (a place the accepts Medicaid) your Grandmother could move to a retirement home and pay with her own money but when she ran out of money she could continue to live there. A huge detail is knowing how much money your Grandma has (which may not be your place to know, but someone in the family better) More money = more options. What happens if she runs out of money living in her own home? Could that happen - is there a plan?

[Anonymous]

This is what a nursing home is for.

[Anonymous]

If she is still sharp I would talk to Grandma, express your concerns and maybe take her to see assisted living facilities.

From what I've seen, many elderly people choose to stay at home because that is where they want to be. They understand the risks of being home. They have a handle on what they need.

Now if she isn't making sense and is just being oppositional that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is a program specifically like au pairs for seniors, but I imagine if you advertise locally you can find a person willing to live with your grandma and do some care/housework in exchange for room and board. You'll probably have to interview a lot of people to find one that works for you -- the expectations, personalities, and mentalities have to mesh for this to work. (Sort of like finding a nanny.) You can also hire a CNA as others have suggested if you want someone with some medical/care training. Or there are service which provide social companionship to seniors: http://www.buckleys4seniors.com/
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is still sharp I would talk to Grandma, express your concerns and maybe take her to see assisted living facilities.

From what I've seen, many elderly people choose to stay at home because that is where they want to be. They understand the risks of being home. They have a handle on what they need.

Now if she isn't making sense and is just being oppositional that's a different story.

Agree 100%. Pls resist the urge to treat her like a child unable or ill equipped to make decisions regarding her own life. A nursing home would have been a death sentence for my mother--actually a fate worse than death. She preferred to live at home with the inherent risks and chose mental health and happiness over "safety."