Birthday party - sibling

[Anonymous]

My dd is turning 10 and has a sister who will be 7 years and 11 months when older dd turns 10. My dd wants to do a sleepover like at the Smithsonian or Aquarium. I feel rather strongly that birthdays are for family. However, it looks like all participants in these sleepovers need to be 8 or older. My dd wants to exclude her sister and just go with one or two friends. Here are some options I am considering.

1. Wait one month and do the sleepover when younger dd is 8.
2. Just ask and see if 7 years and 11 months is ok.
3. Go and say younger dd is 8.
4. Skip the expensive sleepover and have girls sleepover at our house instead. Do the expensive one next year.

What do you all think? Do you tend to have friend parties as kids get a bit older and exclude siblings? This year especially I would hate to do that. Younger sibling feels resentment enough already because older sibling is more of a social butterfly and seems to have more friends than younger dd.

[Anonymous]

This is too complicated.

[Anonymous]

Why exactly does the younger daughter have to go? It's the older daughter's birthday. Why can't she have a party with her friends? You have a family birthday party separately. No 10 year old is going to want their younger sister at a sleepover party. Now, if you can't find a babysitter for the younger one and it's a matter of logistics, OK. That's a different story, but please don't make siblings have to invite younger siblings to a "friend" sleepover party. You're making it about the younger kid and yourself and then whose actual birthday it is.

[Anonymous]

I have four kids. Siblings are always included. I would lie to the place and claim the younger kid is 8. It's not like they'll ask to see her birth certificate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why exactly does the younger daughter have to go? It's the older daughter's birthday. Why can't she have a party with her friends? You have a family birthday party separately. No 10 year old is going to want their younger sister at a sleepover party. Now, if you can't find a babysitter for the younger one and it's a matter of logistics, OK. That's a different story, but please don't make siblings have to invite younger siblings to a "friend" sleepover party. You're making it about the younger kid and yourself and then whose actual birthday it is.

We don't have any family in the area, so our family birthday party is just the 4 of us. If I let the older dd exclude the younger one, then the younger one will want to exclude the older. It just seems to splinter us up when I would like a birthday party to bring our family together. But I can understand as they get older that they may have friends parties without the other sister, so maybe this is the year to start that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four kids. Siblings are always included. I would lie to the place and claim the younger kid is 8. It's not like they'll ask to see her birth certificate.

This is OP, and I like your answer. It is funny because this summer when I was trying to sign up my older dd for a summer camp that was for 6-8 year olds, the system would not allow me to sign up older dd because she was 8 years and 7 months old, so it seems like 7 years 11 months should be ok to go to one of these sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Just say your youngest dd is 8. She practically is anyway.

[Anonymous]

Would not exclude younger. Would lie about it.

[Anonymous]

I have a sister 2 years younger. My parents always tried to make me include her growing up. It created a lot of sibling issues and we weren't close until we were adults. At a certain age parties should be with friends, unless it's strictly a family party. Are you going to make them hang out at 12 and 14?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister 2 years younger. My parents always tried to make me include her growing up. It created a lot of sibling issues and we weren't close until we were adults. At a certain age parties should be with friends, unless it's strictly a family party. Are you going to make them hang out at 12 and 14?

I'm the one with four kids who said OP should just lie. In our world, a "family party" means it's a party with extended family. But the immediate family absolutely goes to the "friends party". It's not a problem at all. And that's with having a big nine-year difference between #2 and #3. Just because siblings attend birthday parties, it doesn't mean the siblings are constantly shoved upon each other. When one has friends over, the others have to give them space.

[Anonymous]

Let the older daughter have the sleepover with just her friends. So what that the family party is just the 4 of you? That's OK.

[Anonymous]

Why not have mom, birthday girl, and friends go to sleepover at the museum, and have younger dd invite a friend over to spend the night while DH supervises? We'd probably do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not have mom, birthday girl, and friends go to sleepover at the museum, and have younger dd invite a friend over to spend the night while DH supervises? We'd probably do that.

+1

Older dd wants some private time with her friends. Let little sister have a sleepover at home, and they both get to do something fun.

[Anonymous]

Younger kid doesn't need to go.

[Anonymous]

Is it a family sleepover at the museum, you & husband will also be there? If not, then it isn't a family activity so the 7-year old doesn't need to go. Do cake & dinner as a family activity.