At what age would you let kids be home alone and get to school two hours late ?
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Anonymous
| our school (aa county) has crossing guards and is surrounded by houses and driveways, so no commercial traffic streets. walkers are allowed to be dismissed solo starting in 3rd grade. A good chunk of kids (50 or so, in good weather) walk or bike home, about half escorted by parents. My oldest started biking by himself (1 mile) about halfway through second grade. My middle child might not be ready for that though. Depends on the kid. |
Anonymous
| So what age can kids walk to the bus stop alone if it’s only a few houses down? Middle school?!? |
Anonymous
| My kids walk to school and home, about three quarters of a mile, residential area. Started at age 8. I don't think I could trust them to get out on time with a 2 hour delay though with no adults at home, they'd either get to school super early or pull out the ipads and lose track of time. And they'd argue over who has to shut the door so the dog would definitely get out. Aged 9 and 11 now. |
Anonymous
Yeah, no one does that in our neighborhood, we have offered many times, and no one has ever taken us up on it, and we feel thus uncomfortable asking them |
Anonymous
So there’s no crossings that are kind of dicey, we have several that have bad visibility and no stop sign |
Anonymous
Op here. This is the attitude I’m feeling bothered by today’s society. All these parents who think their mid elementary kids cannot get out of house on time. When I was in elementary school, I would walk to the bus stop that was 1.5 blocks from my house alone. It was no big deal. I don’t remember 2 hour delays. I remember listening to the radio to see if school was closed. My parents went to work. |
Anonymous
Why be bothered? These kids will learn the same skills later. Just like you will learn some life skills later than others. No one’s enraged when school closes during a blizzard. School should have opened today. |
Anonymous
It’s coddling and limiting them from doing what their 100% capable of (especially if their “gifted and high IQ, like all DCUM kids.) 8 year olds are able to be home alone all day. 11-12 year olds can a babysit younger siblings all day. 16 year olds can stay home alone overnight for days. 18 year olds can babysit multiple siblings for more than a week. Stop disabling your children.. |
Anonymous
Just because a kid is capable of something does not mean you should force them to do it. I walked to school on my own starting when I was 6. At 7, I also helped my younger brother get to school with me. And sure, that experience made me more independent and self-reliant. But it also felt lonely, and like I couldn't ask for help when I needed it. I didn't get that extra time with a parent to talk about my day or process feelings I might be having. I was just alone, or caring for a younger sibling. I *could* do it, but *should* I have done it? I argue no, and that it would have been better for me in the long run to have a parent "coddle" me by accompanying me to school for a few more years. It's true this likely would have delayed some of the acquisition of skills that helped me become more independent. But it would have nurtured other skills, and my relationship with my parents, and I think overall been better for my development. I don't even disagree with your cut offs for independence, but there is wiggle room in there and this idea that kids should be forced into independence as early as possible is just wrong. You don't want to swing too hard in the other direction, but there is some middle ground here. |
Anonymous
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My kid could walk alone to the school (which is 5 houses down from us and then you cross the street with a crossing guard) starting in 2nd grade (this was the school rule). We generally walked with her, but she definitely did it on her own occasionally. Our neighborhood is full of walkers so lots of people who knew her/us were out and about.
I have another child with severe intellectual disability. It really brings me some perspective on just how much our typical kids are capable of. I think we currently drastically underestimate our kids level of independence and babying them isn’t helpful. If my severe ID kid could do the things my other kid could do at age 7, she would likely live in a group home with fairly limited supervision and have some sort of job like bagging groceries through a supported employment program. She would be making simple meals for herself and taking the bus on a route she was taught. She could shop at the grocery store for herself. We dramatically underestimate our kids these days. Instead, my kid requires 24/7 extensive supervision. |
Anonymous
Just because they can, doesn’t mean they should. Do you mean it is good for THEM (the child) or good for YOU (the parent)? An 8yo home alone all day (doing what, exactly? 90% of them will be staring at screens) is not in any way ideal- much less something to strive for. An 11-12 year old babysitting younger siblings all day, same thing. Fine on occasion, but not healthy to be doing (for the “babysitter” or the younger siblings) day to day. Most of us can provide a better experience. So- we do. |
Anonymous
Do you need to drop them off? I think for a lot of more responsible kids, it would be fine for the neighbor just to knock on the door when the bus is almost there, have the kid lock the house, and have them walk together to the bus. |
Anonymous
Yup, it's kid-specific. We have 2 older kids close in age, and this would have been fine for them by the time the youngest was age 9 and the oldest age 11 because they felt more comfortable as a twosome. About that time they started biking to school together because they didn't like the bus. But the 9-year old probably would have felt too anxious to do it alone (and us too). We have a younger child, now 9-years old, and she's sometimes home alone for a half hour while we do a drop off or pickup for an older kid or an errand, but she's nervous being home alone longer than that. Combined with trusting her to be the one to lock up the house and watch for traffic walking to the bus stop -- given that she like many 9-year olds can still be a bit flighty -- I'd be uneasy leaving her for the morning. I expect by age 10, and certainly 11, the tide will turn. |
Anonymous
Same especially on a 2 hour delay day when the time frames are different. I have a 10 year old. He’d probably also forget his lunch. |
Anonymous
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My 5th grader walks half a mile to school solo, daily and has been since last year, so age 9. BUT he has severe adhd and cannot get himself ready alone in the morning. He has no concept of time. Alarms and check lists dont work. He needs someone to remind him and prompt him and get him out the door. He would not be capable of waking up solo. He comes home alone in the afternoon, no problem. Medicine has kicked in y then and there are no expectations to be on time.
Once recently both my husband and I were unable to he home in the morning. We woke our son before we left, and then had a neighbor come by 20 minutes before he had to leave the house. That was fine. He was motivated to show responsibility and had an adult checking over him. I am hopeful by the teenage years he will be able to handle morning routines with less interference. |