Why did my mom let me get sunburned all the time as a kid?!

[Anonymous]

I think there was less knowledge in general about the danger of sunburns and the importance of sunscreen.

My parents didn’t let me get sunburned as a small child but left me to my own devices earlier than many parents would these days. So at age 9/10 they might remind once but then shrug & let me sunburn my nose, figuring that is how you learn. More of an extension of how parenting was in those days, in general.

I am in my late 40s though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you don’t have a dad?

This was kind of my thought too. Blame the mom always.

OP here and actually I didn't have a present dad. But also, in my family, DH doesn't do the sunscreen because he's Italian and tans easily and doesn't know how to do it (if he applies it, he misses spots or puts it on top thin). But my mom was fair and knew how to do it.

This is bizarre. You blame your mom because you claim she knew how to prevent sunburn in kids in an era when most people didn’t know how, and didn’t think of it as a goal, and the technology wasn’t there to make it easy.

But your husband shouldn’t be blamed because he is Italian?

You misunderstand. My mom clearly knew how to prevent sunburns because she didn't get burned constantly and she has the same skin. I don't know if she was wearing sunscreen or covering up more or what. I do remember she almost always wore a hat. So it's not like she just didn't know how to prevent burns, she just wasn't doing any of that for me for some reason.

And I didn't say my DH wasn't responsible for my kids getting sunburns, I just said I'm better at applying sunscreen than he is so I do usually. Most families divide certain tasks based on who does it better. In our family, I'm particular about sunscreen application and know how to do it to make sure we don't miss a spot and get good coverage. I'm sure my DH could learn it, but since I already know how to do it and I'm picky about it, I do it. He always washes the dishes because he's picky about that and has "a system." Y'all are reading too much into this.

[Anonymous]

Boomers are the worst

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For the record, I'm not holding a grudge against my mom. I'm honestly just confused as to why she didn't do anything to prevent those sunburns. I get sunscreen was different back then and the culture was different, but even if sunscreen wasn't a thing now, I have a hard time believing I'd just let my super pale daughter go out and get lobster red 4-5x a summer and not take some kind of action, like being militant about hat wearing or changing our schedule, or forcing her to wear zinc or pants. Something. It's wild to me that I got probably 20+ really bad sunburns in my childhood and we didn't do anything about them.

I think I'm also surprised because I don't remember ever treating any of those sunburns. I don't remember being encouraged to drink more water or doing any kind of topical treatment. Now I know to always have hydrocortisone on hand and to give an anti-inflammatory pain reliever and push extra water when anyone in our family has had too much sun. But I learned this as an adult. Did people truly not know back then? Hydrocortisone is cheap and OTC. Drinking water is practically free. Those burns could have been a lot less painful if we'd treated them, but I remember just having sleepless nights in pain while I waited for the burned skin to peel off and I'd finally get relief.

It's just wild to me. I'm not sitting around stewing about my mom, I'm just kind of shocked at how different it was and how there were some fairly easy things we could have done to protect my skin or recover from burns faster and we just didn't do them. I'm glad my DD is getting better sun protection and after-sun care than I did!

You say you’re not holding a grudge but your posts ooze of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you don’t have a dad?

This was kind of my thought too. Blame the mom always.

OP here and actually I didn't have a present dad. But also, in my family, DH doesn't do the sunscreen because he's Italian and tans easily and doesn't know how to do it (if he applies it, he misses spots or puts it on top thin). But my mom was fair and knew how to do it.

This is bizarre. You blame your mom because you claim she knew how to prevent sunburn in kids in an era when most people didn’t know how, and didn’t think of it as a goal, and the technology wasn’t there to make it easy.

But your husband shouldn’t be blamed because he is Italian?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For the record, I'm not holding a grudge against my mom. I'm honestly just confused as to why she didn't do anything to prevent those sunburns. I get sunscreen was different back then and the culture was different, but even if sunscreen wasn't a thing now, I have a hard time believing I'd just let my super pale daughter go out and get lobster red 4-5x a summer and not take some kind of action, like being militant about hat wearing or changing our schedule, or forcing her to wear zinc or pants. Something. It's wild to me that I got probably 20+ really bad sunburns in my childhood and we didn't do anything about them.

I think I'm also surprised because I don't remember ever treating any of those sunburns. I don't remember being encouraged to drink more water or doing any kind of topical treatment. Now I know to always have hydrocortisone on hand and to give an anti-inflammatory pain reliever and push extra water when anyone in our family has had too much sun. But I learned this as an adult. Did people truly not know back then? Hydrocortisone is cheap and OTC. Drinking water is practically free. Those burns could have been a lot less painful if we'd treated them, but I remember just having sleepless nights in pain while I waited for the burned skin to peel off and I'd finally get relief.

It's just wild to me. I'm not sitting around stewing about my mom, I'm just kind of shocked at how different it was and how there were some fairly easy things we could have done to protect my skin or recover from burns faster and we just didn't do them. I'm glad my DD is getting better sun protection and after-sun care than I did!

Drinking water doesn’t “treat” a burn. I’ve literally never used hydrocortisone or an anti-inflammatory on a sunburn. They’re not some magical treatment. Once you’re burned, you’re burned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you don’t have a dad?

This was kind of my thought too. Blame the mom always.

OP here and actually I didn't have a present dad. But also, in my family, DH doesn't do the sunscreen because he's Italian and tans easily and doesn't know how to do it (if he applies it, he misses spots or puts it on top thin). But my mom was fair and knew how to do it.

This is bizarre. You blame your mom because you claim she knew how to prevent sunburn in kids in an era when most people didn’t know how, and didn’t think of it as a goal, and the technology wasn’t there to make it easy.

But your husband shouldn’t be blamed because he is Italian?

You misunderstand. My mom clearly knew how to prevent sunburns because she didn't get burned constantly and she has the same skin. I don't know if she was wearing sunscreen or covering up more or what. I do remember she almost always wore a hat. So it's not like she just didn't know how to prevent burns, she just wasn't doing any of that for me for some reason.

She probably tried to get you to wear sunscreen (ewww icky it stings!) or hats (ewww no that's old people hats and not cool!) and you don't remember avoiding them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you don’t have a dad?

This was kind of my thought too. Blame the mom always.

OP here and actually I didn't have a present dad. But also, in my family, DH doesn't do the sunscreen because he's Italian and tans easily and doesn't know how to do it (if he applies it, he misses spots or puts it on top thin). But my mom was fair and knew how to do it.

This is bizarre. You blame your mom because you claim she knew how to prevent sunburn in kids in an era when most people didn’t know how, and didn’t think of it as a goal, and the technology wasn’t there to make it easy.

But your husband shouldn’t be blamed because he is Italian?

You misunderstand. My mom clearly knew how to prevent sunburns because she didn't get burned constantly and she has the same skin. I don't know if she was wearing sunscreen or covering up more or what. I do remember she almost always wore a hat. So it's not like she just didn't know how to prevent burns, she just wasn't doing any of that for me for some reason.

She probably tried to get you to wear sunscreen (ewww icky it stings!) or hats (ewww no that's old people hats and not cool!) and you don't remember avoiding them.

Or she sat in the shade, or she got burned and didn’t complain so you don’t remember it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People didn't realize how overexposure to sun was harmful.

Same thing as now when parents "under expose" kids to sun, and it's causing widespread health problems.

From one extreme to the other.

This. I am certainly more diligent about sunscreen withy kids than my parents were, but I see overzealous use of sunscreen fairly often now. Like parents slathering sunscreen on a screaming toddler who isn't even that pale on a partly cloudy April day in New England. This happens regularly at my local park and it seems so unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

I’m a (pale) Floridian born in 1980, and my mom was religious about sunblock. She insisted on SPF 30 (and higher once it was available). She would even put it on my hair part because she had gotten a sunburn on her scalp once as a child.

I got a lot of comments on how pale I was in high school. My sister drove my mom nuts by doing the “laying out” with baby oil thing as a teen/young adult. Now she’s 50 and regrets it— There are 5 years between us but it looks like 20.

I’ve had several relatives with skin cancer, including one who lost a significant portion of his nose, and my husband has had basal cell carcinoma once already. I’m grateful to my mom, but she was definitely unusual compared to my friends’ parents and even other adults in my family.

[Anonymous]

1979 here and my mom never put sunblock on me. I also didn’t have a car seat and my mom left my brother and I in the car when she went to the store and my parents smoked in the house all the time. Nobody every brought water, we were probably dehydrated all the time.

They just had different rules back then and I’m guessing that when we are grandparents our kids will have rules for our grandkids that will protect their health in a different way.

Don’t be resentful. We alllll grew up with what seems like neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you don’t have a dad?

This was kind of my thought too. Blame the mom always.

OP here and actually I didn't have a present dad. But also, in my family, DH doesn't do the sunscreen because he's Italian and tans easily and doesn't know how to do it (if he applies it, he misses spots or puts it on top thin). But my mom was fair and knew how to do it.

The term for this is "weaponized incompetence."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:80s were a time of being raised with benign neglect (leave them alone and they'll figure it out), now we helicopter parent.

Also a fairskinned, the 80s were my HS years when we slathered on baby oil and roasted ourselves at the pool every time we went. People in general weren't as worried about skin cancer or sunburns back then

But sunburns are very painful. Even if you'd never heard of melanoma, you'd think you'd take steps to avoid sunburns just because they are so miserable. A bad sunburn on very fair skin, especially on a kid, can cause fever and painful itching and burning for days, and the skin will peel for weeks. That's not "benign neglect." It's like intentionally giving your kid a virus for no reason whatsoever.

Your mom was raised by people who grew up without sunscreen’s existence. Sunburns were a normal part of life.

+1

[Anonymous]

I was born in 1974 and my siblings and I are all pale and my mom absolutely made us protect our skin.

We played outside a lot, BUT she had us be inside between 11am and 2pm. Those were the only hours we were allowed to watch TV. We also ate lunch during those hours.

We went to the pool everyday but not till 430pm.

We always wore sunscreen at the beach and pool.

At the beach, we would slather on sunblock, go out for a 30 minute swim in the morning. Then we'd stay inside till 3pm. When we would slather on sunblock and go out for another swim around 330 or 4, for maybe an hour.

We were hats and sunglasses and t-shirts in the water.

Dermatologists complement me on my skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with previous posters that 1) parenting is more intense 2) lack of rash guards/swimwear but also 3) lack of variety of sunscreens. We have sunscreen in makeup, lotion, different types for skin-sensitive, different scents. It makes it more accessible to people and more of a cultural “must”

I don't think this makes sunscreen "more accessible" to parents with young kids. Is your 5 yr old layering sunscreen in makeup and buying specialty versions? No. If anything, the recent conspiracy-mongering that the chemicals in sunscreen cause cancer is making some parents LESS likely to use sunscreen. I've heard parents fretting over sunscreen brands and formulations in recent years. Back in the 80s and 90s you just bought some SPF 50 in whatever brand was available/cheapest/smelled best and called it a day.

In the 80’s and here was no 50 and there was no waterproof sunscreen. There was 4 and 8, as someone pointed out and they needed to be reapplied every hour or two.

There was also the idea that burning was bad but tanning was good, so they was his calculus to figure out how to get brown instead of red, and people would try to get up to that line.

Wrong. I was born in the early 70s. We had waterproof SPF 15 by the early 80s.