38-year old single man looking to have a kid in DC

[Anonymous]

To all the people who say OP seems like a great guy, why?

[Anonymous]

Are you gay?

Do you not want a relationship?

If you are straight and want to get married and have kids, you should be able to achieve that. I'm sure you can find someone if you do online dating.

[Anonymous]

Use a surrogate.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom by choice. Shady Grove Fertility promotes services to help single parents by choice, both female and male. It promotes gestational carrier services.

https://www.shadygrovefertility.com/single-parents/

One of my female friends used a gestational carrier after years of trying to conceive herself. I'm pretty sure she was a customer of Shady Grove.

Shady Grove helped me conceive my son via donor sperm. SG offered many support resources at the time including discussion groups. My son is 12 now.

good luck!

[Anonymous]

Wow! I'm shocked at the negativity on this thread- OP I'm so sorry that so many comments here are such trolls to someone earnestly seeking parenthood and shocked that so many people are completely blind to options outside of the most typical approach.

Co-parenting without romance is a thing and there are websites out there to facilitate matches. You could also try asking around to find someone in your own social network. It makes so much sense to me because raising kids is hard and puts so much stress on a romantic partnership. Platonic co-parents will never be exes who hate each other. Obviously there is a lot of leg work to make sure you are well matched to co-parent and have the right legal protections in place. I wouldn't rush into a co-parenting relationship any more than I'd rush into a marriage. And I'd expect to live together at least at the start because newborn needs are special, and then live in close proximity if not together.

[Anonymous]

Adopt. Go to an information session for a few different adoption agencies in the area. Choose one to work with and submit an application. Don't wait. Do it now. Most go through training and counseling as part of the adoption or surrogacy process. Some of the replies/comments on this board are disappointing and wrong, but you need to see what you are up against. You will encounter ignorant people and those who don't mean to be offensive, but are anyway. Stay focused, build your village, and strengthen your faith. Single people can and do parent and make great parents. Surrogacy is an option too.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a specific resource, but Alyssa Liu's (World Champion figure skater and student at UCLA) father, Arthur Liu, also an attorney, fathered and is raising five kids via surrogacy as a single dad. I know Alyssa is close with her siblings, and they seem to be a happy family.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Children need two parents. Don't do this.

[Anonymous]

Find a matchmaker. There are a few in the NYC/DC area that only work with high income busy professionals - lawyers, doctors, investment bankers, business execs, etc.

I have listened to the podcast of matchmaker Maria. She had been doing this for almost 20 years and has a few services that could be helpful.
https://agapematch.com/services/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I'm shocked at the negativity on this thread- OP I'm so sorry that so many comments here are such trolls to someone earnestly seeking parenthood and shocked that so many people are completely blind to options outside of the most typical approach.

Co-parenting without romance is a thing and there are websites out there to facilitate matches. You could also try asking around to find someone in your own social network. It makes so much sense to me because raising kids is hard and puts so much stress on a romantic partnership. Platonic co-parents will never be exes who hate each other. Obviously there is a lot of leg work to make sure you are well matched to co-parent and have the right legal protections in place. I wouldn't rush into a co-parenting relationship any more than I'd rush into a marriage. And I'd expect to live together at least at the start because newborn needs are special, and then live in close proximity if not together.

Bolded above. That is simply a false statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly … got to therapy to understand why you haven’t been successful in dating.

Agree.

You are still young and have plenty of time to connect with a woman and create a great family. Connecting with her will help you for connecting with your child. Every child deserves 2 parents (I know this firsthand as a longtime single parent.)

[Anonymous]

I think you can join a SMBC group for support and advice, but I sincerely doubt someone who is thinking about having a child by themselves would be okay with deciding to coparent with you for the life of the child and give up 50% of their decision-making and tie themselves to a virtual stranger in exchange for financial support. I think by the time a woman gets to the point of contemplating SMBC she's thought through a lot of options that include different levels of involvement from a man and the option you're considering is not very tempting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole scenario you describe is a huge red flag.

Not OP but would you feel the same with if OP was a woman?

Food for thought to combat sexism against males.

DP but yes. Becoming a single parent by choice is not my cuppa but fine for either sex. Thinking you can just find a virtual stranger to set up a pretend family with at age 38 in order to split the emotional/financial burden because you want a baby but aren't good at relationships is really really . . . immature? Idealistic? Silly? Obviously a bad idea? Red flag sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you gay? Find a great guy and have some babies. If you're not gay, find a woman to date, marry, and have kids. Get someone to set up a blind date or arrange a marriage

You sound ridiculous (OP).

You can’t just find someone to marry on a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you gay? Find a great guy and have some babies. If you're not gay, find a woman to date, marry, and have kids. Get someone to set up a blind date or arrange a marriage

You sound ridiculous (OP).

You can’t just find someone to marry on a dime.

SORRY, this comment was directed at the PP (quoted), NOT OP.