DS 13 is a nightmare with braces

[Anonymous]

I have a kid on the spectrum and while her sensory issues aren’t particularly pronounced when sensory stuff does bother her it REALLY bothers her and profoundly upsets her. My guess is that is what your DS is going through—it probably is so deeply uncomfortable for him that it’s driving him bonkers and causing him to mess around to seek relief which is probably botching the braces. You may get better advice if you move this to the special needs forum, but I think it’s hard to fathom how this sensory stuff can be downright irritating to them to the point of not being able to function and move on.

[Anonymous]

OP is living my nightmare scenario and this is why I let my high functioning kid keep the crooked teeth. When they are a grown up they can get their janky teeth fixed, or not. Cosmetic issues are not worth this stress.

[Anonymous]

Stop blaming your child for not conforming to your preferences for his appearance, and certainly don't make him pay for your fashion choices!

If he can't handle braces, take them off. Your poor planning isn't your child's fault.

He can get orthodontic work as an adult if he wants.

Learning how to accept the existence of another person is far more important than your dental desires.

[Anonymous]

Your child is not "on the spectrum".

The "autism spectrum" refers to the symptoms that individuals may have.

Your whole post reeks of resentment for your innocent child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

[Anonymous]

The pressure, sensation of metal scraping against the lips, the texture of the brackets, and the pain all can be absolute horrific sensory hell for a child with autism. He sounds miserable. Take the braces off. Focus on parenting the child you have and not trying to keep up appearances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

You don't seem to understand autism. It heightens your senses to the point that they become painful and unbearable. The pain, pressure, and scraping sensations he constantly feels in his mouth all day are so unpleasant for him that he'd rather rip them out of his mouth and quit his only activity than continue living with it. He can't turn his disability on and off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

You don't seem to understand autism. It heightens your senses to the point that they become painful and unbearable. The pain, pressure, and scraping sensations he constantly feels in his mouth all day are so unpleasant for him that he'd rather rip them out of his mouth and quit his only activity than continue living with it. He can't turn his disability on and off.

Sometimes. Sometimes hyposensitivity is the blurse, and you're at risk of not noticing that you are burning or drowning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

Sometimes you have to force kids to do things they don't want to for their long term good. It really depends on the child and situation. If you don't get them fixed you can have issues later on, like I do and the ortho will not fix them because of other reasons. I wish my parents did them but they claim I didn't need them as it was very mild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

Sometimes you have to force kids to do things they don't want to for their long term good. It really depends on the child and situation. If you don't get them fixed you can have issues later on, like I do and the ortho will not fix them because of other reasons. I wish my parents did them but they claim I didn't need them as it was very mild.

And you hope your kid does not undermine that orthodontic treatment like OP's son and my nephew. My nephew didn't even finish his treatment, and never even bothered to wear the retainer they gave him to retain whatever progress they made.

The kid HAS TO WANT treatment or you will be just wasting money.

What are you going to do if your kid undermines their orthodontic treatment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

Sometimes you have to force kids to do things they don't want to for their long term good. It really depends on the child and situation. If you don't get them fixed you can have issues later on, like I do and the ortho will not fix them because of other reasons. I wish my parents did them but they claim I didn't need them as it was very mild.

OP is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past the debate of whether or not to force her kid to do something "they don't want for their long term good" and is now dealing with the aftermath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

Sometimes you have to force kids to do things they don't want to for their long term good. It really depends on the child and situation. If you don't get them fixed you can have issues later on, like I do and the ortho will not fix them because of other reasons. I wish my parents did them but they claim I didn't need them as it was very mild.

And you hope your kid does not undermine that orthodontic treatment like OP's son and my nephew. My nephew didn't even finish his treatment, and never even bothered to wear the retainer they gave him to retain whatever progress they made.

The kid HAS TO WANT treatment or you will be just wasting money.

What are you going to do if your kid undermines their orthodontic treatment?

Maybe kid is not doing it on purpose. We had several broken wires, brackets that broke off and more. Multiple appointments to fix it. We were careful with food. Kid recently lost a retainer. It happens. My kid did not want it. I did not let it be an option. They preferred one ortho over another, we agreed and had them put on same day so they would not have time to be anxious over it. I am happy to waste my money on my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

Sometimes you have to force kids to do things they don't want to for their long term good. It really depends on the child and situation. If you don't get them fixed you can have issues later on, like I do and the ortho will not fix them because of other reasons. I wish my parents did them but they claim I didn't need them as it was very mild.

And you hope your kid does not undermine that orthodontic treatment like OP's son and my nephew. My nephew didn't even finish his treatment, and never even bothered to wear the retainer they gave him to retain whatever progress they made.

The kid HAS TO WANT treatment or you will be just wasting money.

What are you going to do if your kid undermines their orthodontic treatment?

Maybe kid is not doing it on purpose. We had several broken wires, brackets that broke off and more. Multiple appointments to fix it. We were careful with food. Kid recently lost a retainer. It happens. My kid did not want it. I did not let it be an option. They preferred one ortho over another, we agreed and had them put on same day so they would not have time to be anxious over it. I am happy to waste my money on my kids.

OP seems to think her son is doing it on purpose. You pretending that no kid has ever deliberately undermined their orthodontic treatment ever is ultimately not helping here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.

I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course

Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy

This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.

Absolutely psychotic. Your child is not your slave doll.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents like this. It’s the reason my nephew went no contact with his mother after he moved out. Yes, she made him get braces too.

Sometimes you have to force kids to do things they don't want to for their long term good. It really depends on the child and situation. If you don't get them fixed you can have issues later on, like I do and the ortho will not fix them because of other reasons. I wish my parents did them but they claim I didn't need them as it was very mild.

And you hope your kid does not undermine that orthodontic treatment like OP's son and my nephew. My nephew didn't even finish his treatment, and never even bothered to wear the retainer they gave him to retain whatever progress they made.

The kid HAS TO WANT treatment or you will be just wasting money.

What are you going to do if your kid undermines their orthodontic treatment?

Maybe kid is not doing it on purpose. We had several broken wires, brackets that broke off and more. Multiple appointments to fix it. We were careful with food. Kid recently lost a retainer. It happens. My kid did not want it. I did not let it be an option. They preferred one ortho over another, we agreed and had them put on same day so they would not have time to be anxious over it. I am happy to waste my money on my kids.

OP seems to think her son is doing it on purpose. You pretending that no kid has ever deliberately undermined their orthodontic treatment ever is ultimately not helping here.

I’m sure some kids have but broken wires and brackets are common. It happens. Maybe if she were more supportive it would be easier on the kid.