Am I an idiot if I think when teachers say my child is a joy to work with that they aren't saying this to everyone?

[Anonymous]

I think this is really sweet feedback and would take it.

[Anonymous]

Your child is not the only one, but definitely not every student is getting that kind of feedback. Volunteer in a classroom and you'll learn very quickly.

[Anonymous]

I have three children and one of them consistently, every year gets feedback that he is “a joy” and “so cheerful” and gets perfect behavior scores. The other two are very well-behaved but never get that kind of effusive feedback, so yes, assume the teachers are being honest and you have a great kid!

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher and we have conferences in groups (we are departmentalized). Some teachers repeat the same things to all the parents, some don’t. There’s not a ton to say, and our classes are really small, so we do know the kids. Certain things we aren’t allowed to discuss (medication, behavioral issues) and certain things parents would be confused by (the nitty gritty of our program, which is specialized). All parents like to hear teachers speak effusively about their child.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I give this feedback, as a teacher, when I do not know your child very well. Which to me, means that your child is not a problem but your child is also not super smart that they stand out and I can go off of that. They are just....there. They slide under the radar but not in a bad way. They tend to have a neutral personality. They are a joy...it is pretty generic and basic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I give this feedback, as a teacher, when I do not know your child very well. Which to me, means that your child is not a problem but your child is also not super smart that they stand out and I can go off of that. They are just....there. They slide under the radar but not in a bad way. They tend to have a neutral personality. They are a joy...it is pretty generic and basic.

Can’t they be both? Its not either or.

[katebrownell86]

Hey, no need to flame! It's totally understandable to feel proud when teachers and therapists praise your kid. Rest assured, they're not just saying it to everyone, each child has their own unique personality and strengths, and it sounds like your 5-year-old is genuinely a joy to work with. It's a testament to your parenting and the efforts you've put into supporting her development. Keep up the great work, and celebrate those moments of recognition

[Anonymous]

Teacher here and I only say it if I mean it.

[Anonymous]

I have one son who got this comment from so.many.teachers.

A few also pointed out to me that they did not say this to everybody.

My son was not necessarily attentive or a good student. But he was very loving, kind and funny. Everytime there was a student struggling with friends they would ask him to be their "buddy".

Actually, in K I asked the teacher if his all E's (exceptional) were real or was he just so nice she couldn't stand to give him a lower grade. She admitted he had problems reading.

In middle school I had 1 teacher complain that he "joked around too much" and 2 other teachers found out and asked that I tell him to only stop in that 1 class because having my son joke around was the best part of their day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At home, my 5 yo is sweet and cute but also a bit of a handful, like I assume most 5 year olds are. She has done a bunch of activities over the years, goes to daycare and also has had a few therapists due to some delays. A lot of times the teachers/therapists have spoken effusively about what a joy she is to work with. I feel a bit proud when they say this. Am I a idiot for thinking they don't just say this to everyone?

Flame away, btw.

I think she probably is a joy to work with. Some kids really are a joy, even though they may also be a handful at times.

This is absolutely true. I always say something positive and I never lie to parents. I will say that for a handful of kids there isn't much to say.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and we do sugarcoat things but we don't outright lie. "Your child is very bright (but needs to work on staying on task)" could mean she's a PITA and knows it, but a joy to work with can't mean much else. Just make sure there is no "but" after it.