Use of curse words among and by young adults

[Anonymous]

I am age 54, and was always taught by my parents not to use curse words. And so I do not use them at all.

When I first met DH (back in our 20's), he used to use curse words occasionally. But I noticed that he stopped (without my asking him), just because he noticed that I do not speak that way.

I am pretty happy to see that our kids (ages 19 and 21) do not use curse words at all, at least around us. I am so glad about that. I have mentioned to them that using curse words in the workplace is thought of as pretty vulgar and low-class. (I base this on 30 years of working in a large corporation, in upper management.)

A few years ago, we invited a new neighbor over for dinner, and he started saying f-this and f-that, just as part of his regular conversation. I really kind of just wanted to end the evening. I didn't say anything, but my DH kind of just said "well, it's been a nice evening, thank you so much for coming over." I was kind of touched that DH probably realized that this was not fun. I guess that my neighbor may have grown up in a household where using curse words was normal, and has not realized that it may not be serving him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45 and an attorney. I have been using curse words since I was 8 years old. I vividly remember the first time I cursed in front of my mom and she slapped me. Guess what? I still swear. A lot. And guess what else? My kids swear and know when it’s ok and when it’s not.

It’s not the fall of society.

OK, it's not the fall of society. But it is a way of showing that we are kind of getting lazy with our speech. It's good to have some standards for ourselves, in our appearance, in our speech, and in how we show respect for other people.

[Anonymous]

I…don’t understand the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think cursing is nothing are definitely making a bad impression on many people, just so you know.

My dad was a blue collar worker, in a male- dominated profession yet I never heard him curse (my mother would sometimes shout “dirty word” 😂).

It was a peaceful house to grow up in and taught me to expect respect in all future relationships.

I feel bad for children with any other experience.

But we’re making a bad impression on people whom we don’t care to impress, so it’s a bit of self-selection. I cannot imagine thinking that cussing is a big deal, and I judge the people who think that. It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

I'm a tenured professor and I curse constantly. Nobody can do shit about it either

[Anonymous]

I selectively curse. And I enjoy doing it. Grew up in NY/NJ where cursing was common.

My husband rarely curses. He looks down on people who curse. We have two teen daughter’s - one never curses, ever. The younger one is a little more comfortable with it, but never in front of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grown-up children in the 21-25 age range use f-words all the time. These words represent excitement, frustration, and many other emotions. I see the same usage rising even among older generations among my colleagues in informal conversation.

I do not care much about it, but my husband flips out whenever our kids use curse words.

Do you see this pattern among your kids of that age and their friends? How do you handle it?

I would flip out too, specially if they are using them when we're having regular conversations. I'm not their little buddy!

Interesting how you protect them by saying "these words represent" LOL. GTFO.

Are you flipping out now?

[Anonymous]

All you can do is have high standards for people who want to be in your presence, and not accept pushing away people who fail your standards. But if you're chasing someone, you can't make demands.

[Anonymous]

You can't shame the shameless.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? The pearl clutching over the F bomb is just too much. I have two acquaintances who visibly flinch when someone drops an F bomb. They are both ninnies.

Furthermore, studies have shown people who curse are smarter than those that don't (see ninny comment above).

https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/26/health/swearing-benefits-wellness/index.html

[Anonymous]

unacceptable

Anonymous wrote:My grown-up children in the 21-25 age range use f-words all the time. These words represent excitement, frustration, and many other emotions. I see the same usage rising even among older generations among my colleagues in informal conversation.

I do not care much about it, but my husband flips out whenever our kids use curse words.

Do you see this pattern among your kids of that age and their friends? How do you handle it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tenured professor and I curse constantly. Nobody can do shit about it either

Have you considered that some of your students may wince? Or do you only consider whether you could be punished for it?

To me, it would show a greater respect for your students if you spoke to them without cursing.

[Anonymous]

My adult children don't swear. At least I've never heard them do it.

We swore a lot when they were little, so I guess we effectively made it uncool.

[Anonymous]

Oh, the horrors!!!

I'm a woman. I've always cursed a lot. It's language and it's expressive and there is nothing wrong with it. My child did not curse when he was little. He doesn't curse at school (around teachers anyway) but at home, I couldn't care less. It's more important to know when certain things are appropriate than to ban them all together. But my kid is 15. I can't imagine policing his language when he is 25.

[JaylaChandler]

Anonymous wrote:My grown-up children in the 21-25 age range use f-words all the time. These words represent excitement, frustration, and many other emotions. I see the same usage rising even among older generations among my colleagues in informal conversation.

I do not care much about it, but my husband flips out whenever our kids use curse words.

Do you see this pattern among your kids of that age and their friends? How do you handle it?

It's interesting how language evolves, isn't it? I've definitely noticed a similar pattern with my kids and their friends. It seems like the f-word has become almost like a punctuation mark for them, expressing a range of emotions. Personally, I try to take a more laid-back approach to it, understanding that language norms change over time.

When it comes to handling it, I think it really depends on your family's values and what you're comfortable with. Some parents might choose to set strict rules about language at home, while others might take a more relaxed approach like you do. It's all about finding what works best for your family dynamic.

As for your husband flipping out about it, it's good for your children, because your children must understand, that using such words is unacceptable in "high" society, which is your family.