What is the hardest part of being a single mom?

[Anonymous]

What do you do if you are sick. How about really sick. How about hospital sick?

If you have two kids, and kid #2 has croup at 2 am, you have to wake up kid #1 to also go to the ER with you.

You can't go anywhere alone, not for a prescription, not for a gallon of milk, unless you've arranged for a sitter.

My ex was mostly useless but sometimes I just needed a warm body in the house. Once I was single I didn't even have that.

Still glad I divorced him though.

[Anonymous]

SMbC here. I think my life has been fairly easy with my child (11). I know some SMCs with 2 kids but they have a lot more money than I do.

I'm a teacher and I feel I get a lot of support from my coworkers. It's wonderful not to have a spouse that fights me or disagrees with a derision I make.

My child and I have always lived in a large studio apartment. DD loves to decorate the various spaces we have set up. We watch videos together on small-space living.

If something is "hard' it's a situation like "do not bring a child to a doc appmt" -- but I do anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have been done on this topic and all report that children living with both biological parents report a higher levels of life satisfaction than those in single parent homes. One of these studies was conducted in 36 industrialized countries.

I would be interested in reading these studies. I’m assuming the only difference was having a second parent in the home. Income levels were the same, ability to do activities were the same, no one had a sibling with SN or grandparents that needed care.

It's a different experience, double the adult attention. I feel like every child deserves 2 parents. But that's just me...

Why do you think 2 parents means kids have a relationship with both parents? My parents were married and my dad was never home. I am divorced and my kids have a relationship with their dad because of the divorce. When we were married, he did nothing but hide in his room while I did everything. You assume too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have been done on this topic and all report that children living with both biological parents report a higher levels of life satisfaction than those in single parent homes. One of these studies was conducted in 36 industrialized countries.

I would be interested in reading these studies. I’m assuming the only difference was having a second parent in the home. Income levels were the same, ability to do activities were the same, no one had a sibling with SN or grandparents that needed care.

It's a different experience, double the adult attention. I feel like every child deserves 2 parents. But that's just me...

Why do you think 2 parents means kids have a relationship with both parents? My parents were married and my dad was never home. I am divorced and my kids have a relationship with their dad because of the divorce. When we were married, he did nothing but hide in his room while I did everything. You assume too much.

You chose poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have been done on this topic and all report that children living with both biological parents report a higher levels of life satisfaction than those in single parent homes. One of these studies was conducted in 36 industrialized countries.

I would be interested in reading these studies. I’m assuming the only difference was having a second parent in the home. Income levels were the same, ability to do activities were the same, no one had a sibling with SN or grandparents that needed care.

It's a different experience, double the adult attention. I feel like every child deserves 2 parents. But that's just me...

Why do you think 2 parents means kids have a relationship with both parents? My parents were married and my dad was never home. I am divorced and my kids have a relationship with their dad because of the divorce. When we were married, he did nothing but hide in his room while I did everything. You assume too much.

You chose poorly.

There is no way of knowing how someone will be a parent in advance. Also, he forced a pregnancy. We had agreed no kids. Btw, this is a man with a professional degree. Emotional abusers and liars don’t reveal themselves until after they are married.

[Anonymous]

Single Mom by choice here and even though I love my kid I miss my old life. It's expensive and he is exhausting. He's cries and whines more than most toddlers I've come across. Praying this stage ends soon.

[Anonymous]

I've been a SMBC for 13 years. It has generally been fine. It helps that I only have one reasonably healthy child. The decent job with regular hours and adequate salary helps too.

This isn't too surprising, according to network theory. A family of two will always have fewer logistical difficulties than a family of four. The most difficult thing is the lack of emergency backup. Again, the adequate salary and sick leave generally give me the time and cash to solve those sorts of problems.

I don't put too much stock in the ideal of the perfect, two parent family. I grew up in the 70s, when people still had kids out of a sense of obligation. I knew so many kids in UMC homes with terrible parents. Parenting ability is way more important than structure.

[Anonymous]

SMC of twins here - it was tough in many ways: financially, logistics, and as one poster wrote, it was very lonely. Most kids had both parents at school/sports events, and many times I felt like such an outsider, so different. Also, couples will many times not include a single mom. Also, feel bad for my kids for not having a Dad figure. One of my kids made up a story in 1st or 2nd grade that the Dad passed away.... but I had live-in nannies till kids were 5 years old and then I had occasional babysitters. Now they are 12 and it is much easier in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Don’t try to convince her.

The worst part is when you really need to be two places at once. There is no fall back option.

[Anonymous]

I am an SMC and my daughter is now in college. i didn't find any real negatives because I planned and saved for so long. Most of my old friends and new friends were intrigued and I never felt lonely. The"alone times" -- I was grateful for that! Oh the luxury of a 60-minute nap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SMC of twins here - it was tough in many ways: financially, logistics, and as one poster wrote, it was very lonely. Most kids had both parents at school/sports events, and many times I felt like such an outsider, so different. Also, couples will many times not include a single mom. Also, feel bad for my kids for not having a Dad figure. One of my kids made up a story in 1st or 2nd grade that the Dad passed away.... but I had live-in nannies till kids were 5 years old and then I had occasional babysitters. Now they are 12 and it is much easier in many ways.

THIS is true for me too, as well as my SMC and divorced single mom friends! For example, even though I work full time (in office, not at home) I've tried to make local mom friends by volunteering with elementary PTA and actually planning & executing fundraising events. The other PTA moms bonded, got together for coffee and drinks and then got the families together for pizza but I was always excluded even though I'm a friendly sociable person (and they knew I was single and commented on how "hard" it must be for me)! Same story for soccer team (same team since K) where many of the families get together but exclude the 3+ moms who are divorced, widowed and single. I know it's not me being overly sensitive because one set of the not-married/not-together mom and dad pulled their son from the soccer team for feeling excluded.

[Anonymous]

I am finding it hard now (in empty nest phase).

The younger years were hectic but I loved them.

Now traveling alone, eating alone…feels lonely. It did not before I was a mom.

[Anonymous]

Not the “hardest” but I think school is a challenge because some teachers are more judgy and (I think) call out my DS for every minor thing while his friends who are truly disrupting the class are off the hook. Of course, he’s in Catholic school and surely some teachers don’t agree with single parenthood.