Someone Talk me Down Please

[Anonymous]

I started doing Bravelle with timed intercourse this month. I did the trigger on 4/3. On 4/10 I went in for monitoring to see if I needed progesterone. I didn't.

I have been feeling the signs of pregnancy, heavy boobs and cramping and "activity" in my uterus. Today, I woke up feeling like I wanted to cry. My boobs no longer feel heavy to me. They were a bit tender before and now they aren't. I'm still feeling a bit of activity in my uterus, but I am now convinced it didn't work this cycle.

The "feeling like I want to cry" is a defnite PMS feeling. I know that PMS and early pregnancy mimic each other. If you would have asked me yesterday I would have said, "I think I am probably pregnant." Today, I think, "I'm just waiting for my period to start."

I know I could just go buy a HPT, but part of me doesn't want to do that. I go in this Friday for my pregnancy test. This has been the longest week of my life. Friday is going to go on forever.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

[Anonymous]

I don't know how to interpret your physical symptoms. Honestly, your mind just plays tricks on you during these periods of waiting. I was always wrong in interpreting my own symptoms.

Waiting for the pregnancy test is one of the hardest aspects of fertility treatment. I never wanted to take a home pregnancy test myself, because I thought "if it comes back positive, I still won't know what my hormone levels are and will just fret about that." I hated to think that I'd be celebrating a pregnancy, just to find out at the doctor's that my hormone levels were too low to support a pregnancy. Too much of a roller coaster.

So, instead I TRIED to appreciate the fact that during that time, I at least COULD be pregnant. Those early test numbers will tell a fuller story.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I actually had a very similar situation of physical symptoms dropping off. I woke up one morning and felt completely different....no sore boobs, no bloating, no headache (which I'd been having). I was so upset and felt like it was a good sign to start working through the BFN on my own. It all happened 2 days before my beta. I'm glad I was preparing for it because it was BFN. I never do HPK because I had to spend the money and I just try to embrace the "I could be pregnant" idea. I've never had a BFP (4 IUI, 2 IVF) so I'm not sure how I'll feel if that ever happens. It's easier for me to work through the negative coming than to keep hoping, especially after the change in symptoms.

Sorry if this is a bummer posting.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I broke down and bought a HPT. I'm not pregnant this month. I am really sad right now. We'll try again next month but that is all we get according to my RE. Then we need to move on to IVF.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. Big hug to you and your future child.

[Anonymous]

Yes, so sorry, OP. I know how much those BFNs suck. Good luck next month. Fingers crossed for you.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry.

I think it helps to think of infertility treatment as a process rather than a one-time-only event. Having the drugs make you feel pregnant when you are not (or may not be) is one of the worst parts of the process. But most people don't have things work our the first time around, and it doesn't mean that there isn't hope if this cycle isn't a success.

[Anonymous]

I think it helps to think of infertility treatment as a process rather than a one-time-only event. Having the drugs make you feel pregnant when you are not (or may not be) is one of the worst parts of the process. But most people don't have things work our the first time around, and it doesn't mean that there isn't hope if this cycle isn't a success.

This is SO true. For most of us, infertility treatment ends up taking months of trying different things, tweaking regimens, etc. It's far from the one-time-event that we all hope for. Having the perspective (that it may take many months) from the beginning is really helpful.

And I also agree that the drugs mimic pregnancy signs. I've found this to be especially true after IVF. I had more "pregancy signs" during my negative cycles than I did during a positive. It's so frustrating. My friends who get pregnant naturally can reliably "read" their bodily signs during the 2WW. When I've tried to distinguish anything during the 2WW of medicated cycyles I've only gotten majorly let down.

OP--best of luck to you. You will get there!

[Anonymous]

Yes...it's a process for sure. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years...2 years with assisted fertility treatment. 3 failed IUI's and 2 failed IVF's. My most recent (3rd) IVF was converted to an IUI due to poor egg growth...and guess what...it worked. I had absolutely no hope of it working. So hang in there. It can happen anytime. Even when you're convinced you've lost all hope. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I broke down and bought a HPT. I'm not pregnant this month. I am really sad right now. We'll try again next month but that is all we get according to my RE. Then we need to move on to IVF.

Why is he jumping to IVF and skipping IUI?

Sorry about the negative HPT.

[Anonymous]

OP Here. Thanks for all your responses.

I think what is the most frustrating for me is that I got pregnant last year with no medical assistance. The pregnancy had to be terminated due to a fatal defect. I turned 40 4 days after the termination and I haven't gotten pregnant since.

I talked to my RE today and told him that I felt like I was getting in my own way. I decided that I was going to take a month off of the meds, try to relax, and start accupunture treatments. (if for no other reason than to help me relax) I already exercise 5-6 days a week and eat a fairly healthy diet. When I got pregnant before, I had been having some other health issues and had a procedure scheduled for day 14 of my cycle, so I wasn't even trying that month and guess what happened. The only 2 cycles with the meds was stressing me out and my doctor did say we could continue with the meds for more cycles than just two.

I still ovulate regularly, have low FSH and estrogen numbers, my husband is perfectly normal, I responded well to the meds and had intercourse 4 times before and after the trigger. I was just so sure I needed a little boost. Right now I am just having a difficult time being positive.

To answer the PP question. I think the reason that he wasn't suggesting IUI is that I don't think it has any better success rates than timed intercourse. I could be wrong but, that is my feeling.

[Anonymous]

"My most recent (3rd) IVF was converted to an IUI due to poor egg growth...and guess what...it worked. I had absolutely no hope of it working. "

OMG - how many follies did you have? I just had my second IVF canceled due to poor response; this time I have two good follies and so are converting to an IUI. My I don't have a heck of a lot of hope.

[Anonymous]

"My most recent (3rd) IVF was converted to an IUI due to poor egg growth...and guess what...it worked. I had absolutely no hope of it working. "

OMG - how many follies did you have? I just had my second IVF canceled due to poor response; this time I have two good follies and so are converting to an IUI. My I don't have a heck of a lot of hope.



I had 2 measurable follies and 3 smaller ones when I converted to IUI...my first beta was 57...but my second (yesterday) was only 58. Chemical pregnancy or ectopic pregnancy is likely. I am so bummed. I really thought this was it. But for whatever reason, we've gotten 2 positive pregnancies (albeit chemical) with IUI's (our first IUI was also a chemical pregnancy) and have had no success with two IVF's (two high quality embies transferred round one, 3 high quality embies transferred round 2). But it's making me think we should try IUI again, vs. the more expensive IVF.

Good luck with the upcoming IUI...who knows? Could be the one. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[Anonymous]

9:42 here. I'm so sorry - that is really hard to take.

If the IUI doesn't work, I'm starting to think about natural or mini-IVF; no point putting all those drugs into me if I can't make very many follicles (and less expensive, too).