Did I handle this okay? What could I do better next time?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, just a small perspective check. My (ND) 4YO DD and I were at a schoolmate's birthday party last weekend. A very sweet family we don't know had a DS in a stroller and he was SN and probably about 6/7. I was too busy looking after my infant to chat with the mom, but she was having a good time with her children and I couldn't tell offhand what the special need was.

Later in the party, my DD noticed that the boy was older and in a stroller, so like most 4YOs she loudly asked me "Why is that big boy in a stroller"? I replied "Some big kids need a stroller to help them get around. Little kids need them and sometimes even big kids need them." I didn't want to assume the son had a SN or what it was in my answer to DD.

This seemed to satisfy her and she went back to running around with her classmates. But, I wondered later if I had done the right thing by answering with a pat "everyone is different and we need to respect that" type answer. I didn't want to approach the mom because I didn't know if she would appreciate questions or her family being a "learning moment" for mine (I know I wouldn't), and she and her kids were having a great time, the SN son seemed relaxed and content (not interacting much) and I didn't want to impose on them.

Did I handle this okay? If you are in this situation, please let me know what I can do next time that would be sensitive and not hurt any feelings.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

I think that's a fine answer for a 4YO! Plenty of time to teach her acceptance of differences in a more sophisticated way.

[Anonymous]

I think your response was perfect! Not presumptuous, matter of fact and honest.

[Anonymous]

Meant to add: you were very wise to not "ass" ume anything.

[Anonymous]

I think you were fine. But it's not a stroller. It's a wheelchair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you were fine. But it's not a stroller. It's a wheelchair.

Huh? It can often be a stroller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you were fine. But it's not a stroller. It's a wheelchair.

Huh? It can often be a stroller.

OP here. It was actually a stroller. It had some tethers on it but was otherwise just a normal stroller.

Thanks, PPs, for your insights so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you were fine. But it's not a stroller. It's a wheelchair.

Huh? It can often be a stroller.

While many SN kids wheelchairs do resemble strollers, my DD hates having her wheelchair called a stroller. And it plays into the whole "big baby" thing to call it a stroller. If it is a stroller, fine, but it's usually not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you were fine. But it's not a stroller. It's a wheelchair.

Huh? It can often be a stroller.

OP here. It was actually a stroller. It had some tethers on it but was otherwise just a normal stroller.

Thanks, PPs, for your insights so far.

It's probably not a stroller, Op.

[Anonymous]

This is a kid's wheelchair. Yes, it may look like a stroller, but it's a wheelchair.

https://www.4mdmedical.com/index.php/catalog/product/view/id/194437/s/padded-headwings-14/?CAWELAID=120141310000056386&CAGPSPN=pla&gclid=Cj0KEQjw98mvBRD-_ciSovKhq7gBEiQAEvsBZ6qzgCeli2yqKzCUcC3VWnymuhgcYah5UzUNXfoSAmEaAn-y8P8HAQ#.VfMc1BFVhBc

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be so quick to assume it was not a stroller. I have two friends with kids with disabilities related to mobility and their 6 and 7 year olds actually do sometimes go around in strollers. They don't need to be in wheelchairs full time and are still small enough to fit in regular strollers so their parents have not purchases wheelchairs yet.

[Anonymous]

Just a quick word about the stroller/wheelchair thing. You cannot seriously fault anyone for thinking a wheelchair that looks absolutely like a stroller isn't a stroller. You cannot fault children for calling it a stroller and you certainly cannot fault adults not able to see a difference and not interject that it is in fact a wheelchair. If wheelchairs are built looking like strollers people will think they are strollers. If that's a problem for you and you notice someone calling it stroller politely correct them, educate them and let them know it is a wheelchair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a quick word about the stroller/wheelchair thing. You cannot seriously fault anyone for thinking a wheelchair that looks absolutely like a stroller isn't a stroller. You cannot fault children for calling it a stroller and you certainly cannot fault adults not able to see a difference and not interject that it is in fact a wheelchair. If wheelchairs are built looking like strollers people will think they are strollers. If that's a problem for you and you notice someone calling it stroller politely correct them, educate them and let them know it is a wheelchair.

Exactly.

I also know older SN kids who would use specifically a stroller and not a wheelchair, but more importantly, OP, you handled it beautifully.

[Anonymous]

OP.
I think you did a great job.

My rule of thumb with little kids is if they leave after a few sentences they got the info they were needing.

Sounds like you were sensitive and upbeat. I wish you were at more parties.

[Anonymous]

Awesome sauce, OP.