How far of a drive is worth it to attend private school?
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Anonymous
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We're contemplating having our DS (6th grade) apply to a school that we love, but that is 10 miles from our house. For grades K-6, our DS has always been fortunate to attend a school that is very close to our house. (Our MCPS elementary in Bethesda was just 2 blocks from our house.)
Does anyone else drive their child or have their child take a bus 10 miles? Is it too long, or is it do-able? After getting home and doing homework, are they too tired to do any more activities? We really like this school, and are just wondering if it's too far. Also, we're wondering if it's going to be difficult to make friends in school since many of the kids at the school live close to the school. Thank you for any thoughts you may have. Does anyone do a lot of extra driving every day just to get their kids to private school? If so, what's your schedule and how have you made it work? |
Anonymous
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The farthest we've driven (three schools over the years) is 30 minutes. The daily routine is doable -- you figure it out and it just becomes part of your day -- but the social life of the school revolves around the school's neighborhood and that's hard. Plus, friends can live 30 minutes or more in the other direction, making after school playdates impossible (I have younger kids; I don't know if playdates are applicable to middle schoolers).
Our conclusion is that up to 30 minutes is doable if the school offers something really special and unique that can be provided elsewhere; a lightly better fit isn't enough. So, I'll do it for my SN child but not my NT child, who, in the end, will be fine virtually anywhere. 15 minutes is my limit for my NT child. Don't forget to factor in rush hour traffic when figuring out the commute! |
Anonymous
| I think that's pretty far, but it totally depends on what the drive is actually like. You could probably find out if there are other families that live near you so you'd know if a commute like yours is common or not. |
Anonymous
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By high school, lots of the private schools draw from a pretty big radius, and the kids spend so much time at school (given all the after school activities/sports and just staying at school to study) that friendships really don't seem to be an issue-my DDs had friends from HS that lived all over. The only times they tended to need to get to and from each other's houses was for maybe weekend parties or getting together to study or work on projects. By HS, one hopes your DC can take Metro or other mode of transportation to and from school-that will cut down on family disruption, improve your sanity, and help your DC become independent. However, an extra hour a day of commuting (in rush hour it can definitely be at least that for twice a day trips) takes away time for studying and relaxation. Is your kid someone who would be able to read/study on Metro or in a car? If not, you need to think hard about whether it is worth it, a hour a day is a lot, and the workload in most of these schools is pretty overwhelming already, so an hour in a car might end up being an hour less sleep per night.
In middle school, given complete dependence still on parents to facilitate transport, and less time at the actual school, this type of commute may be a bigger issue socially and for your family. Less MS kids come from far away, but there for sure are still some. However, if you have other options for MS, maybe consider moving out of public for HS instead of for MS |
Anonymous
| We are doing 30 min. I would not want to go a minute longer. |
Anonymous
| We are doing 30 min. I would not want to go a minute longer. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thank you for the replies above. All are so helpful!
Does anyone have their child take the school bus? I like the idea, but it seems to take a fair bit longer to take the bus. |
Anonymous
| My DS in Arlington took the bus to Potomac MD every morning and I picked him up after sports, just cover an hour . On the bright side, we really bonded during his MS years. Often he would have a friend come with him Fri after school and leave Sunday. We call it the private school sleepover. |
Anonymous
| Any chance you could identify the school? We are a new family with a 6th grader at a private, and in addition to being thrilled at his experience so far, we're rather shocked at the range of distances from which people come. That may have an impact on your experience and how the families interrelate. And, FWIW, we only live 4 miles from the school but it's still 20-30 minutes each way. |
Anonymous
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I spent an hour traveling to my private school by bus when I was growing up. The alternative was a truly failing and violent public school system. I remind my DD if this when she gripes sometimes about her 20 minute ride by car.
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Anonymous
| We live in DC and my kids go to school in Potomac, MD. The school has bus service at an extra charge and we take advantage of it because the daily commute would kill me and my husband. I can drive out there after practices, games, school activities which isn't on a daily basis. Like a PP said, the students come from a cross section although a large number live in Bethesda and Potomac. |
Anonymous
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We do 15 miles each way, but it takes us only 25 minutes in one direction because we're going out from the congestion, not into it. If we commuted in the other direction it would take us at least as long to get to a school only half as far.
If I were you I'd focus not on the mileage but on the time it takes to get there. Our drive out is actually quite relaxing and pleasant, whereas if we were going down toward the congestion it most certainly would not be. |
Anonymous
Our HS Freshman goes 20 miles by car from Northern VA to HS in DC (carpool with other nearby students that takes about 45 minutes each way). Our Middle School child takes a bus from NoVA to school in DC (an hour bus ride). If the school is the right fit for your kids, the long trip is well worth it as the kids can spend that time doing homework. |
Anonymous
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30 minutes... 13 miles
I love the drive in and home, we talk a lot during this time. Sometimes we study during this time. It's great bonding experience. My work is 15 minutes from the school. |
Anonymous
Our MCPS in Potomac is about 7 minutes from our house. We will take the 45 minute commute to DC any day. DS is getting an experience he would never have a pubic high school...no matter how good it is. Best move we have ever made. |