Has anyones kid been made fun of for having 2 Moms/2 Dads in pub school?

[Anonymous]

There was a thread yesterday about a first grader who sat alone at lunch and the other kids wouldnt include him at recess either. He was shy and not sporty. It made me so sad to think of this happening in first grade.
I have a 3yo and while I odn't think she will be the shy kid, I don't want her to be a kid that leaves others out either. I want her to be kind to everyone.
Anyway, I digress, we are a 2 Moms family, so then I started wondering if she is likely to be left out or treated differently by other kids because of this.
Has anyone had this happen with their kid?
Experiences?

[Anonymous]

Depends on where you are. For the most part, in close-in DC suburbs, no. Doesn't mean that it might never come up (kids will comment on ANYTHING), but as a general rule, areas around here are generally supportive.

Now, if you're in Rowan County, Kentucky, then yeah - gonna be an issue.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor is a teacher at a school that is in far flung Montgomery County.... where the deer and the antelope play....she has twins in her class with 2 dads. The kids in her class have no clue which parents belong to which children, they rarely are in the classroom at the same time, only 1 will do pick up, or they take a bus.

Unless your child shows up with a t-shirt that says "I have 2 moms" nobody knows.

So, in her opinion, there is no issue simply because nobody knows... just like nobody knows most of the fathers and 1/2 the moms because they never come to school.

Kids are simply not that into each other business.

Of course, neighborhood kids will know, but I suspect that is not a school issue, it is a neighborhood issue. Kids are not coming to school whispering... hey do you know they have 2 dads. Nobody cares.

Have you seen "kicking and screaming" when they two moms introduce themselves and Will Ferrell is like who is the mom? It's funny actually, sometimes there is a little confusion when they first meet the teacher the there is that ah ha moment but nobody cares, kids don't care.

As my neighbor says, my assistant has 3000 tattoos, that gets a 2nd look, 2 dads... not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread yesterday about a first grader who sat alone at lunch and the other kids wouldnt include him at recess either. He was shy and not sporty. It made me so sad to think of this happening in first grade.
I have a 3yo and while I odn't think she will be the shy kid, I don't want her to be a kid that leaves others out either. I want her to be kind to everyone.
Anyway, I digress, we are a 2 Moms family, so then I started wondering if she is likely to be left out or treated differently by other kids because of this.
Has anyone had this happen with their kid?
Experiences?

This isn't quite the same, but my twin sister and I often get confused by kids as my children's two moms. She comes with me a lot to pick up my kids from school or picks them up on her own, and whenever we show up together, kids in SACC yell out, "DD has two mommies!"

No one seems fazed by it or given her trouble. We are in a public school in Springfield, VA. Like I said, it's not the same as your situation because I do have a husband, but maybe it helps assuage your concern?

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks PP's we are in MOCO ( but on the dreaded Eastern side)

[Anonymous]

I am one mom in a two mom family with a first grader and we have had zero issues. We also do a ton of community work in a very mixed community, no issues so far on this issue. I've heard them.around favorite colors and sports and things that some boys consider "girl" things, but not about two moms. I am sure it will happen at some point, but he's just going to have to learn to deal with it. I'm actually much less worried about it at this age than when he gets older and kids start to find their more political selves. Then it might be hard simply because what is merely political for some is personal to others. Please don't worry about this too much.

[Anonymous]

My oldest daughter has twins in a MOCO elelmentary school and one of the girl's closest friends has two Moms, which so far is just accepted by her girls, with no comment. It seems as much the norm as one of their other friends who have divorced parents and switch homes during the week. Again, I think being in certain kinds of areas can mean just more of a spectrum of families and less comments. In the same vein these twin girls are very fortunate in that among their preschool and early school childcare sitters have been a bilingual Spanish setting, a Spanish-speaking sitter who continues the Spanish, a high school girl from a co- parenting divorced family situation, and a wonderful family originally from Somalia (citizens) who do wear the hagib. All of these experiences will just make the next generation so much more open to getting to know people as individuals and the not for or against their demographics.

[Anonymous]

Two mom family here who also lives on the eastern side of MC and doesn't understand why it's considered "dreaded". I think that the PP who says that kids don't know which parents belong to which kid is so totally wrong. Every kid I've ever seen from preschool on knows which parent belongs to which kid. Being someone who lives with this, I also think that those parents who think that everyone is totally supportive in the greater DC area and no one blinks an eye at same sex parent families are wrong too.

My experience is this. If your kid is a kid who tends to get teased, then having same sex parents will be fodder for teasing - as will many things including if you are fat, have a crappy car, send your kid with weird things for lunch, etc. If your kid is a kid who makes friends easily and doesn't tend to get teased, it will come up and whether it becomes fodder for teasing will depend on how your child reacts. In the younger grades, kids tend to think it's the best thing ever to have two moms but they sometimes ask really personal questions that kids of opposite sex parents don't get - like which mom had you in their belly and how can two moms have a baby. As they get older, it's the characteristics of the parents that make a difference (like if your parents take you cool places, if your house becomes the hang out house and you serve great snacks, etc., then kids think your kid has cool parents). Regardless, it does come up and sometimes in some not so nice ways. And, while espousing that it is wrong to tease about it, you will not see schools have anywhere close to the same reaction as they would about teasing say over skin color.

I think the issue is that you have to equip your child to answer what comes their way and do your best to make sure you have the kind of relationship with your kids that they come to you if/when something bothers them.

[Anonymous]

OP here thanks everyone, especially 11:05
I love where we live but dcum seems to have a divide between the East and West of Moco.

[Anonymous]

Both of my children in two different MoCo schools have families with various combos of moms/dads/2 moms/4 moms/single moms/single dads and on and on. Nobody cares. As long as the kids are nice and fun - that's all that matters on the playground.

That said - I have had to correct one child for saying "that's so gay" -which he learned on the playground. He had no idea what he was saying or what it meant and was very upset when I told him how certain of his friends and friends' parents might be offended. He does not say that anymore

[Anonymous]

We may have kids with same sex parents in our classes, I'm not really sure (just started K) but I will say this - we have good friends who are a lesbian couple. DD has asked about it and I explained that all families are different etc. Then she asked if she could marry a girl and I said (hurray) yes, of course you can!

This opened up a world of possibility for her as now she says she wants to marry her best (female) friend etc. I think it makes life easier for her to understand that you get to marry whoever you love - that makes a lot more sense to a 5 year old than you get to marry whoever you love, so long as it's a guy.

[Anonymous]

My children are in a close-in (eastern) MCPS school where same-sex families are relatively common. There have been some teasing incidents at times, but the school has reportedly gotten much better about dealing with them in the last couple of years. Our school also has an informal network of same-sex and transracial adoptive families (sometimes these groups overlap, sometimes not) and my sense is that there's a pretty good support network.

So...it's not impossible that teasing could occur, but I've been heartened by the number of kids who don't come from same sex families who either just don't care, or who actively stick up for the kids with two moms or two dads.

[Anonymous]

Around here, it might not be an issue at all. I think the bigger issue would be how the teachers handle Father's Day and Mother's Day activities - I can see that being an issue for a kid who has two parents of one sex or only one parent, like a few of my friends who adopted or had kids solo.

That said, there will always be one mean kid who will make fun of your kid for something.

My daughter's dad and I are not married and when it has come up amongst her classmates, it hasn't caused a stir at all, even though we were the only split family in a 24-kid class.

[Anonymous]

For better or worse, kids think your "dos mommy" thing is OK. I think it's sinful but I don't want my kids to run into trouble in their private so I keep my mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

My kid had trouble last year in first grade at a DCPS. Teachers were very helpful but it still happened.