Fire Alarm Trauma

[Anonymous]

Last week our smoke detector went off in the middle of the night, and since then our 2.5 year old has been pretty traumatized. I went to get her right away and calmed her down and put her back to sleep, but now everywhere we go she looks for smoke detectors and asks if there is going to be a fire and seems a bit worried about it. When she is with an adult she is fine, but every time we put her down for a nap or bed she screams and cries that there is going to be a fire and says she doesn't want to sleep with the alarm in her room. Of course we can't remove it, so we just keep telling her it was an accident and there is no fire (in addition to beeping it kept saying "fire fire"), but if there is a fire mommy and daddy will come in right away.

Anyone have thoughts for what else we can do? She is genuinely upset about it and it seems to be getting worse vs better.

[Anonymous]

We had this same thing happen. DD is sensitive about noises anyway, but the middle of the night fire alarm really is quite jarring. I don't have much advice, more empathy. We just kept repeating, we know it was loud and we didn't like it either but daddy fixed it and it's over now. She brought it up periodically for a while.

[Anonymous]

Maybe let her sleep in your room for a while?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her sleep in your room for a while?

Why start bad habits over this?

Just empathize and move on

[Anonymous]

My 3.5 year old had a similar reaction when we had an incident in our apartment building. The alarms are crazy loud. What helped was talking about what to do during a fire and even practicing a fire drill, including gathering our cat, feeling the doors for heat, taking the stairs (not the building elevators), and exiting the building. It gave her a sense of empowerment to know what to do. Her daycare/preschool also had drills, so that helped as well.

[Anonymous]

No advice, just a similar experience. Well close. Our toddler seems to be at once fascinated and scared of airplanes flying by. She'll say airplane! And run to us to be picked up. No airplane has ever harmed her though. I think loud things are v scary for them. I'd just keep repeating your explanation and comfort her.

Or find a related book!

[Anonymous]

The fire stations in Arlington have open houses where they encourage families in the neighborhood to come by and visit. I know the one near us even has a bouncy castle and a bbq. Maybe when she's calmed down and is sleeping through the night, you could go visit your local station and learn about fire safety. They may even have tips for you in the interim.

[Anonymous]

Daycare has fire drills all the time. and yes, it freaks our 2.5 year old out..
We just say the fire alarm is there in case a fire happens, and that we are close and if it ever goes off, she just has to go outside...
it's kind of terrifying to think about all around..so, I can't blame her for being upset by it..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her sleep in your room for a while?

Why start bad habits over this?

Just empathize and move on

Sometimes comforting your child when they're in need of it requires you to do things you might not do in typical circumstances. In the grand scheme of things, it just isn't a big deal. I personally would not hesitate to let my child sleep in my room if he was legitimately scared. Empathy is a complex thing, and not something I'd expect my 2.5 YO to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 year old had a similar reaction when we had an incident in our apartment building. The alarms are crazy loud. What helped was talking about what to do during a fire and even practicing a fire drill, including gathering our cat, feeling the doors for heat, taking the stairs (not the building elevators), and exiting the building. It gave her a sense of empowerment to know what to do. Her daycare/preschool also had drills, so that helped as well.

I don't think I could find our cat because she hates loud noses and would dive for cover. If there is a fire, we are not looking for the cat.

[Anonymous]

Is she afraid of the loud noise going off again, or afraid that there will be a fire? Or both?

If she's afraid of there being a fire, there's lots of books on that topic and probably several Mister Rogers episodes.

As for being afraid of the loud noise, I would emphasize and explain as much as you can that it isn't likely to happen again.

I feel for her, poor girl. That must've been scary!

[Anonymous]

Oddly, with little kids who have a trauma induced worry, really focusing on it can help. My daughter had a medical incident and became super paranoid about medical equipment -- would not even walk by a blood pressure machine at the grocery store. But she also became obsessed with books about the hospital/doctors/etc, like Curious George goes the hospital, Clifford goes to the hospital, Dora goes to the hospital, etc. etc. It seemed to help her deal with it and put it all into a safe and understandable context.

[Anonymous]

Maybe let her push the button to activate it a few times so she has some feeling of power/control over it. I'd also let her know that the smoke detector is there to keep her safe. Role playing is another good way to help her deal, if not with the actual alarm then with you acting out the alarm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oddly, with little kids who have a trauma induced worry, really focusing on it can help. My daughter had a medical incident and became super paranoid about medical equipment -- would not even walk by a blood pressure machine at the grocery store. But she also became obsessed with books about the hospital/doctors/etc, like Curious George goes the hospital, Clifford goes to the hospital, Dora goes to the hospital, etc. etc. It seemed to help her deal with it and put it all into a safe and understandable context.

This. She will process the issue by exploring it. Let her tell the story over and over. Draw pictures, write about it, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her push the button to activate it a few times so she has some feeling of power/control over it. I'd also let her know that the smoke detector is there to keep her safe. Role playing is another good way to help her deal, if not with the actual alarm then with you acting out the alarm.

+1!