My daughter was slapped and punched at preschool

[Anonymous]

My daughter was slapped and punched at pre school orientation yesterday. My nanny saw it happen and told me last night. The mom took the other child home, but the teacher didn't see. Do I mention it to the teacher? I'm nervous about an aggressive child in her class.

[Anonymous]

Mention to the teacher so the teacher can keep an eye out. Unfortunately, these things happen. My 1st grader got punched in the stomach by another 1st grader. Luckily, a friend told a recess monitor, and the kid got into trouble.

[Anonymous]

How old?

[Anonymous]

No, don't mention it. If it's a problem, the teachers will see it soon enough. Also, for all you know, the child's mom has already talked with the teacher about it. They're just little preschoolers, maybe the hitter was anxious and overwhelmed, but will be calmed down by the time school starts.

I myself found our preschool orientation day overwhelming with all the little kids, twice as many parents, and numerous younger siblings all crowded into the room, trying to navigate around each other. Plus, there were new and exciting toys there for the kids to jostle over. Actual preschool will be way less hectic, so the kid might be calmer and more comfortable, less likely to hit.

[Anonymous]

I'd mention it to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

I would mention it to the teacher. I would be pissed too....

[Anonymous]

What ages? 3 or under, I would be less worried and would keep an eye out. 4 and up I would tell the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, don't mention it. If it's a problem, the teachers will see it soon enough. Also, for all you know, the child's mom has already talked with the teacher about it. They're just little preschoolers, maybe the hitter was anxious and overwhelmed, but will be calmed down by the time school starts.

I myself found our preschool orientation day overwhelming with all the little kids, twice as many parents, and numerous younger siblings all crowded into the room, trying to navigate around each other. Plus, there were new and exciting toys there for the kids to jostle over. Actual preschool will be way less hectic, so the kid might be calmer and more comfortable, less likely to hit.

Just because they are preschoolers does NOT excuse slapping and punching another child.

I'm surprised you didn't trot out the usual excuse for brats,"developmentally appropriate."

[Anonymous]

Absolutely mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, don't mention it. If it's a problem, the teachers will see it soon enough. Also, for all you know, the child's mom has already talked with the teacher about it. They're just little preschoolers, maybe the hitter was anxious and overwhelmed, but will be calmed down by the time school starts.

I myself found our preschool orientation day overwhelming with all the little kids, twice as many parents, and numerous younger siblings all crowded into the room, trying to navigate around each other. Plus, there were new and exciting toys there for the kids to jostle over. Actual preschool will be way less hectic, so the kid might be calmer and more comfortable, less likely to hit.

Just because they are preschoolers does NOT excuse slapping and punching another child.

I'm surprised you didn't trot out the usual excuse for brats,"developmentally appropriate."

I never said it's OK. And also, you're confused if you believe "developmentally appropriate," and "perfectly all right," mean the same thing. Two year olds have tantrums, but that doesn't mean we cheer them on. Preschoolers in a new environment might be overwhelmed, but I never said it means it's ok to hit.

The OP said the kid's mom removed him from the scene. Done deal.

And if it happens during preschool class, the teacher will handle it. Bear in mind, the teacher may not have seen the actual slap/punch, but if this kid is truly aggressive or a trouble-maker, the teachers will notice.

There's no reason for the OP to be nervous about this kid at this point. I don't think it's good for the OP, the other kid's mom, OR the teachers to bring up issues with another child before school even starts. Give it time.

[Anonymous]

I won't comment on what you should do, but maybe to assuage your nervousness, my kid was both the pusher and pushed at several preschool playdates (you know those pre and post admissions ones) over the past year. And I don't consider her aggressive nor did it seem like the other kids were particularly aggressive. They were just being 3, much like stuff happens on the playground. We've certainly run into some really docile preschoolers (oh do I wonder how their parents managed to luck into that!) but also a fair share of not so docile and still working on using words when overwhelmed/frustrated/in general ones. I suppose maybe there's some aspect of an event that would make it seem really out of bounds (malicious targeting designed to evade the eyes of adults? suppose more likely to be problematic if it was random or unprovoked? - but I'm not convinced orientation isn't it's own trigger for some kids, as others have said, and therefore maybe not random) and therefore uniquely concerning, but from the description alone seems likely to be in the normal range of things.

[Anonymous]

If you mention, I'd phrase it as a question. Nanny mentioned a child hitting, how do you usually handle these issues in the class?