14-year old burst into tears saying she misses me

[Anonymous]

My 14-year old DD is visiting relatives with DH and her sibling. They've been gone a week and have been having a grand old time every single day and will be back later this week. We speak every day on the phone and today she just burst into tears when I called, saying she misses me and it's too long to be away.

I'm shocked. They do this trip every year and love it and I know nothing is wrong on the other end. She has been with her sibling and DH the whole time so nothing could have happened.

I'm a little worried because the only time she's been away from us was a week-long vacation with a friend a couple of years ago (which she loved) and we were thinking of sending her to a two or three-week camp next summer.

Thoughts? Is it hormones? I told her that as soon as she comes back I'll make her sit down and do her math and english packets for school and clean her room and then she won't miss me anymore. That got a laugh.

[Anonymous]

It's very likely hormones. But do have a chat with her when she gets back and do a lot of listening. Maybe the trip isn't as fun for her anymore, and maybe next year it changes a little.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Its probably be nothing, but do talk to her to make sure nothing weird or strange happened on the trip. Sorry to be so suspicious, but your DH can't be with her every minute and someone may have teased her or worse.

[Anonymous]

Weird TMI question, but was she on her period at the time?

My DD gets clingy and emotional when she is on hers.

[Anonymous]

It's nothing.

[Anonymous]

I doubt she's missing you, exactly. She's probably missing the way you treat her. Spoiling maybe, just a little bit. My guess is she is not being catered to, she didn't get her way, or her feelings were hurt.

[Anonymous]

My guess is she's hormonal and has no one who intuitively knows and can silently make it better. No sudden cups of hot chocolate, no telling her to stand in a hot shower for an hour, no curling up on the sofa and watching her favorite movie for the millionth time.

[Anonymous]

PMS. It is killer in a young teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt she's missing you, exactly. She's probably missing the way you treat her. Spoiling maybe, just a little bit. My guess is she is not being catered to, she didn't get her way, or her feelings were hurt.

What a nasty thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Hormones. I went on a trip with my siblings and grandmother around the same age. Did the same thing to my mom. It is a long time to be away, and I was homesick.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't talk to her on the phone while she is away. You are increasing her anxiety and decreasing her ability to separate. She would do better if you didn't talk to her while she was away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't talk to her on the phone while she is away. You are increasing her anxiety and decreasing her ability to separate. She would do better if you didn't talk to her while she was away.

T
No, not really. OP has been talking to her all along with no sign of anxiety. This came as a shock to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt she's missing you, exactly. She's probably missing the way you treat her. Spoiling maybe, just a little bit. My guess is she is not being catered to, she didn't get her way, or her feelings were hurt.

What a nasty thing to say.

I know, right?

OP, she is missing you. I would have been happy and not worried. Kids tend to blow off their parents at this age. She is realizing she needs you and likes having you around. That is a win win. And ending it with the tone of math packets and her laughing was perfect.

No need to worry mom - you are doing good. And even when she is rolling her eyes and telling you to back off, think back to that moment to get you thru it.

[Anonymous]

Are there any teenage boys where they are staying?