DS wants to go with girlfriend to visit colleges
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Anonymous
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DS and his girlfriend are both seniors in high school. His girlfriend is ridiculously wealthy and her parents have booked a private plane and limo and driver to take her around to various east coast colleges (we live in Southern California) over Thanksgiving week. DS will be applying to a number of those colleges and wants to go with her - along with her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. My DS's girlfriend's parents will be on the flight with them but that is all - the kids will all be staying in hotels and making the college visits on their own.
I always thought that visiting colleges was something that DS, DH and I would do together - however we cannot afford a private plane or go over Thanksgiving week (which would be the best time for DS to go because of his sports schedule). WWYD? This has nothing to do with morality or sex or DS and the girlfriend sharing a hotel room. Just a right of passage that I thought we would have with our son alone. |
Anonymous
| I would split the difference. Is your son applying to California colleges as well? If so, I'd say send him on the east coast tour with girlfriend et al. and then you take him to the other schools. |
Anonymous
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I would let him go. Private planes don't come around that often!
Besides, can't you take him around to some California colleges? |
Anonymous
| Schools will be closed thanksgiving week - why would you go that week and not see school in session. |
Anonymous
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Heck, I want to go on that East Coast college tour!
Visit CA colleges with your son but let him go on the East Coast tour with his girlfriend and friends. A private plane plus limo and chauffeur? |
Anonymous
| If you're not worried about the sex or morality aspect, then I would let him go. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Aren't the colleges all closed that week? No one will be there to visit. |
Anonymous
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I would say that all colleges would be closed from Wednesday on and not even the administrative support staff there, and some do take a full week instead of a separate fall break. In reality how clued in are these seniors really going to be on the serious aspects of what a college might have to offer so it is probably fine to let them go and see the physical layout of the campus, how close in a city the school is to what they want, what the surrounding area looks like in terms of apartment living after their freshman year etc.Mostly is will be a very memorable "social" Thanksgiving. Just be certain that no one comes home with a surprise Christmas gift!! |
Anonymous
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You don't need us to tell you that YOU do the college visits with your own son, in your own way. Period.
I'm not impressed with anyone's money. |
Anonymous
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I'd treat the trip as a bonus vacation for getting a taste of some places. But I'd plan separate visits for schools he is very serious about, either with you or alone.
FWIW, I visited some colleges with my parents (a few when my older siblings were researching schools). However, for the school I was most serious about (and ended up attending), I did a solo visit. I stayed with a student in the dorms and attended some classes. In my case, being without my parents (and certainly without my hometown friends!) gave me the best impression of what life would really be like there. |
Anonymous
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Is he seriously considering east coast schools? There are a lot more expenses when college is a cross country flight away.
I might let him go if those schools are in serious contention, otherwise, I don't really see the point. |
Anonymous
Agree. |
Anonymous
| I would say no. College tours are for parents. If he can't tour with you, he shouldnt expect any tuition payments from you. |
Anonymous
| You're all so full of sh*t. It's not a right of passage. It's just one less thing you need to do. Let the kid go, and forget about it. |