Social Problems for Teen New to High School

[Anonymous]

Our daughter is in 10th grade and we have just moved to a new city. She is an academically oriented private school and school started two weeks ago. Academically she's doing ok but there are big social problems.

We were assigned 3 buddy families and the girls in the grade are reportedly very nice. However, it's not working out that way for our daughter. The lunch room scene is like a movie - no place to sit, and no one to welcome her.

One of her buddy friends is shunning her. She is coming home in tears and is miserable.

What can I do to help her?

Any advice greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Pull her. Not the right school.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the advice above. I do feel for your daughter and the car is tough.

So far you know that one of three girls is a bitch and should be avoided. The only other thing you say is that your daughter hasn't been greeted with open arms. I wonder if what your daughter is experiencing at least partly reflects a shy personality? Can she sit with one of the other two?

It is hard to break in during high school. I know that having done it. Everyone has their own life and has their circle.

Your daughter should join an activity, invite someone she knows from class to do something outside of school. Enter the car with a nice quiet girl who she knows from the class just before. In every school there are such girls. Time is the remedy here. If she is still isolated at Christmas, then think about a new school. Not in September. (Do be aware of application dates to other schools, though)

[Anonymous]

The car is tough? Thanks autocorrect.

Meant to say the CAFfeteria is tough.

[jsteele]

Please continue this in the thread that is in the independent schools forum.