inclusive and talented teachers best friends with meanies

[Anonymous]

I was on my way to Stride Rite in the mall and we ran into probably one of the best and most inclusive mainstream teachers my child with SN ever had. She was with a teacher who is known to have so little patience for children with SN it's surprising she still has a job. She was so wretched I looked into whether it was legal to secretly record her interactions in class. These teachers seemed to be best friends.

This is the 2nd time I have encountered pairings like this and it should be NBD. There are plenty of things they might have in common, but for some reason both times it freaked me out. I guess I wonder why someone so kind-hearted and talented at her job would want to associate with someone so intolerant, bordering on emotionally abusive to children. How could you respect someone with that ugliness lurking inside of her? I guess I'd feel the same way if I saw someone who fosters dogs and volunteers at an animal shelter hanging out with the neighbor who ties the dog to a tree, leaves him there all day rain or shine and then yells at him when he's a basket case when she gets home.

[Anonymous]

Maybe Nicey doesn't know what Meanie does in her classroom.

[Anonymous]

I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yeah, she probably doesn't know the extent. I'm sure she has heard stories, but assumes they are exaggerated. Honestly, they aren't. I am connected to most of the SN families in the school from various SN associations, running into them at OT or ST or even just chatting at PTA meetings. There is a PTA SN coordinator who tries to get the parents together. Some teachers get mixed reviews, but this is not one of them. The only parents who were pleased had typically developing children who were AAP bound.

[Anonymous]

I think you don't understand how complex human nature is.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they aren't "best friends" but shared a ride to the mall while they were prepping their classrooms. It's a pretty big leap to see two people together and assume they are bff. Are you making other leaps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

She doesn't sound like a very committed teacher. She certainly doesn't seem to enjoy her job/students. But she's probably very different around adults/friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

Why would you not complain if this teacher acts like this? At our school parents would complain and she would be fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

Is larla your child or someone else's? Some of these are actionable offenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

She doesn't sound like a very committed teacher. She certainly doesn't seem to enjoy her job/students. But she's probably very different around adults/friends.

I've known a few burnt out teachers who were very competent teachers and good people but totally sucky day to day in the classroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

She doesn't sound like a very committed teacher. She certainly doesn't seem to enjoy her job/students. But she's probably very different around adults/friends.[/quote]

OP here. Yep, probably.

They definitely seemed close, but who knows. Just seems odd that someone could harbor that much disgust for kids with SN and keep it under wraps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine that nice teacher does not share your view of wretched teacher. Maybe it's your viewpoint that's skewed?

+1, you are biased. I have know some teachers who come across as "mean" who have very high standards or other strengths with my SPED kids (I'm a teacher)

OP here. Here are some examples of what I consider mean. These are all instances observed by other adults (special ed teacher or parent volunteer), but they are not all my child

*Putting a child in time out for most of the period
*Having a class discussion about what people find annoying about Larla in front of Larla
*Complaining to another parent about Larla (who is not Larla's mom or dad)
*Saing out loud "I am so sick of these SN kids."
*Nasty tone only when correcting a few kids who happen to be SN. When non-SN kids act up-more appropriate tone.
*Telling a parent you don't have time to follow specifi things in the IEP
*Telling a parent Larla doesn't need accommodations recommended by an expert in writing. She's just lazy.
*Telling a parent that nobody likes Larla and I can see why.

OP here. Every one of these instances were taken to the principal or so people claim. I know for a fact a few of them were because they were things the teacher did with my child.

Why would you not complain if this teacher acts like this? At our school parents would complain and she would be fired.

[Anonymous]

OP sorry. I posted in the wrong place above. Yes, complaints were taken to principal.

It is what it is. It's just one of those things that surprises me. Not a big deal in the scheme of things. Heck there are married couples where you see extremes too.