Would you move away?

[Anonymous]

DH is leaving his job in a few weeks and will have full pay/benefits for about a year. We have a vacation home (hopefully someday a retirement home) in New England where I've lived all summer with my kids. We are considering moving to it for the fall and perhaps the foreseeable future (if we find jobs here). However, I question whether it's the right move for our four year-old. She's supposed to start her third year at her private preschool in September and where we would be living in New England is very rural, without preschool opportunities. However, we hear the elementary (starts at K) is great. That said, she's a very young 4 (late August birthday) and we aren't 100% certain that we'd send her to K on-time anyway. So, would you enjoy the fall at the vacation home? Or stick it out in DC until we figure out my husband's job situation? Certainly, selling our home in DC is a possibility and my PT job is flexible (I could work in DC or New England).

[Anonymous]

I'd probably go for it, though after the Winter we just had here in Boston, not sure you want to be here for a Winter If you think you can handle being home all day with a 4 year-old and keep her busy and stimulated, it could be really nice for not of you. How "rural" are you?

[Anonymous]

Where in New England would you be without preschool opportunities? You need to explain your area better.
Also I wouldn't base a family moving decision on a 4 year olds preschool. She's 4, she is not going to be scarred for life because she doesn't go to the same school in the fall

[Anonymous]

On an island in a small town that has a winter population of about 2,000. Our backyard is a national park. There are two preschools on the island that are fully enrolled. Of course, the summer population is significantly higher, with many very wealthy, old money residents (we aren't).

[Anonymous]

Would you be able to buy again in DC if things don't pan out? We left DC for another urban area...turns out we're not as in love with it as we were DC, and are now prices out of our old neighborhood after just a few years. Sucks...

[Anonymous]

OP here. I doubt we could afford NW DC again. We bought an estate sale 8 years ago and would make about $300K on the sale of our house. Coming from our vacation-home island, our salaries would be a fraction of my husband's current DC salary and no lender would let us borrow $600-800K anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Martha's Vineyard?

[Anonymous]

Mount Desert?

I would say go for it-- why not shake things up when you have the chance? You can probably round up some parents' groups and activities for a preschool-like experience.

I would be very, very skeptical of your ability to both find good jobs within 6 months. I grew up in a rural New England area and hardly any of my childhood friends still live there. The ones that do work in family businesses, are schoolteachers, or work retail and tourism jobs. Several families I know have moved back when one spouse found a good job, and the other spouse ended up really, really frustrated. And of course, cost of living out there can be much higher than people anticipate, relative to what you get paid.

[Anonymous]

I would go in a hot New York minute, OP. This is the best time in DDs life to move and it sounds absolutely wonderful. Do it.

[Anonymous]

OMG do not base this on a 4 year old

[Anonymous]

Can you rent out your DC home until you decide what to do.

[Anonymous]

Based it on jobs, real estate, and where you want to live -- but a FOUR year old? Are you kidding me?? She has to make do with what YOU -- the parents -- choose; you don't have to live your life according to her wants/desires bc she's the KID and she's 4 -- not 17 and applying to college.

[Anonymous]

I get that our lives shouldn't revolve around our kids, which is part of the reason I would love to move away from DC. We're sending our kids to private schools, and I'm finding this to be such a competitive rat-race. However, part of my dilemma is do we even return to DC and have my daughters attend preschool for a month or two given our uncertainty? Financially, it doesn't matter since our preschool is month-to-month, not full-year tuition. And, it doesn't matter at all for my one year-old who would be in a playgroup, just my 4 year-old who truly was broken hearted to leave before Memorial Day (a week early) and miss her friends.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the situation. DH is going to be looking for a job in DC, right? Because I can't imagine there will be a ton of opportunities by your vacation home. So wouldn't you want to remain in DC so that he can look there and you all can be together?

If the goal is to move elsewhere anyway, I guess you could move to the vacation home and have an extended vacation. But it sounds pretty isolating for you and for your kid. Are there other people with kids she could play with? Could you start a playgroup? I think she might be pretty unhappy if she can't go to school and there's no one else to play with -- and it will be exhausting for you to play with her all this time, as well as probably bad for her social development.

But if there are other options for socializing, I don't think it's essential she go to preschool. But it probably is a good idea to do some type of organized thing at least for some period of this year -- maybe starting in the winter?

Honestly, I don't think I would make the move, but that's just me. Sounds like a bigger hassle to go there, have everyone in transition, come back, etc.

[dancingsunflowers06]

The great things about kiddos not being in school is the flexibility you have to travel and not have as much of a schedule. Since your job is flexible, I would take advantage of that time before she is in school and you can only take trips/vacations when school is out. Good luck!