HS Class 2016 - College Admissions Process

[Anonymous]

Fellow Parents of Students that will graduate HS in 2016. What are you doing to help your student to get organized and find their way through this process? If you have a self-starter and you will be completely "hands-off", no need to comment. Unfortunately, my DD is very unorganized and somewhat a procrastinator (like her mom), and I know she will need some help. Her school has an excellent college counselor, so I know she is getting the needed info, but I also want to support her and be involved. So far, I have bought a large wall hanging calendar, so she can start filling in the various deadlines for apps, scholarships, etc. I also want to start some sort of file for each of the schools that she will be applying to, but not sure exactly what type is needed. I'm not trying to be a helicopter mom, but I think this process is too important to have her fall flat on her face.

What else, if anything, are parents doing to aid in this process? TIA

[Anonymous]

It would really help to know whether your kid goes to private or public and what level of colleges she'll be applying to. If you can give her SAT and GPA plus ECs, I can let you know (I work at a local prominent university).

I happen to think it would stress your child out to see all of that stuff you are talking about. I would just sit down calmly with her and ask her to make out a calendar of when stuff is due, whether she's asked for recommendations, talked to the college counselor, etc. I promise you that you will both get through this.

[Anonymous]

Her school will probably use Naviance so there isn't any need to create organizing tools. In fact, creating a second set of tools could cause problems if she consults the "wrong" one so I wouldn't do any of that. Or at least find out if they use Naviance.

A good college counselor will send her reminders and be on top of all that. I don't see how anything you propose is necessary of will help her fall on her face. If I were you I would speak with the college counselor and let her know your concerns about your DD and deadlines and then be aware of the deadlines themselves -- if she's about to miss one I would contact the counselor myself and make sure she's on top of it rather than nag. You could really set up a stressful dynamic. And you should be backing off so she can do as much as possible without your involvement,

Bottom line -- if the counselor is great, work with her and pull back from the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Be really clear and explicit before she applies re what you can afford and are willing to pay for college and under what circumstances. If you will expect her to finance her own graduate education, let her know that as well and point out how carrying undergrad debt will affect her options down the road.

If she needs a reality check re what's a reach, tell her about the Common Data set and the info it provides about the qualifications of the middle 50% of each school's entering class.

Limit the number of applications to what you think she can do well. Make sure that she includes at least one or two schools you're pretty certain that she will be admitted to and that you can afford. Be prepared to relax the limit you imposed if she has good reasons and demonstrates that she can handle more apps. Discuss EA/ED with her, both to see if the counselor has explained it and to make sure she understands the strategic implications, if any, in her case.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

I would be very involved with a procrastinator, can't expect the counselor or a 17 yo to navigate successfully...Some schools are already admitting their classes. Some schools have early deadlines to be considered for scholarships. You need to at least have a shortlist of schools, so you can check deadlines, arrange for interviews by visiting admissions counselors. Not a final list, but a shortlist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

This will never work. You need to get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

This will never work. You need to get involved.

Of course it will work, especially with a so-called "excellent college counselor." No need to helicopter so damned much!

The one poster had it right: make sure your child understands what parents can/will pay, and explain the burden of loans if necessary, then leave it up to the child. They know deadlines, they work with them all the time in school. Ninety percent of the process is the Common Application. It's not a huge deal. Just make sure there's a safety -- a school that's a good fit and has at least a 50 percent overall acceptance rate and where your child's numbers fall into the school's top quarter -- and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Please get involved. Best thing my mother ever did for me was to be my College Admissions Czar. And I was a actually fairly organized and very motivated. But I was also a stupid teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

This will never work. You need to get involved.

Of course it will work, especially with a so-called "excellent college counselor." No need to helicopter so damned much!

The one poster had it right: make sure your child understands what parents can/will pay, and explain the burden of loans if necessary, then leave it up to the child. They know deadlines, they work with them all the time in school. Ninety percent of the process is the Common Application. It's not a huge deal. Just make sure there's a safety -- a school that's a good fit and has at least a 50 percent overall acceptance rate and where your child's numbers fall into the school's top quarter -- and be done with it.

GC can guide kids but that's about it. GC will not "DO" things for your child. There are too many moving parts to this process (due dates, writing essays, researching schools, sending apps, test scores..etc, etc..) kids without parents help will get easily lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

This will never work. You need to get involved.

Of course it will work, especially with a so-called "excellent college counselor." No need to helicopter so damned much!

The one poster had it right: make sure your child understands what parents can/will pay, and explain the burden of loans if necessary, then leave it up to the child. They know deadlines, they work with them all the time in school. Ninety percent of the process is the Common Application. It's not a huge deal. Just make sure there's a safety -- a school that's a good fit and has at least a 50 percent overall acceptance rate and where your child's numbers fall into the school's top quarter -- and be done with it.

GC can guide kids but that's about it. GC will not "DO" things for your child. There are too many moving parts to this process (due dates, writing essays, researching schools, sending apps, test scores..etc, etc..) kids without parents help will get easily lost.

None of my kids got lost in the process without the parents helicoptering. You don't give kids enough credit.

[Anonymous]

None of my kids got lost in the process without the parents helicoptering. You don't give kids enough credit.

Let's just say your kids are better than most kids I know including mine.

As for OP, I think it's better to be safe than sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was all set to turn my dining room into "Operation College" and was expecting other parents to say they are doing the same, but it seems like you are all saying I shouldn't really do anything but check on her from time to time.

This will never work. You need to get involved.

Of course it will work, especially with a so-called "excellent college counselor." No need to helicopter so damned much!

The one poster had it right: make sure your child understands what parents can/will pay, and explain the burden of loans if necessary, then leave it up to the child. They know deadlines, they work with them all the time in school. Ninety percent of the process is the Common Application. It's not a huge deal. Just make sure there's a safety -- a school that's a good fit and has at least a 50 percent overall acceptance rate and where your child's numbers fall into the school's top quarter -- and be done with it.

GC can guide kids but that's about it. GC will not "DO" things for your child. There are too many moving parts to this process (due dates, writing essays, researching schools, sending apps, test scores..etc, etc..) kids without parents help will get easily lost.

None of my kids got lost in the process without the parents helicoptering. You don't give kids enough credit.

I will share with you the cautionary tale of my coworkers' child, who was enrolled in a small private school which encouraged students to "own the process". Come March, they were horrified to discover that he had not garnered a scrap of merit aid cos he had missed deadlines, and his only affordable place was UMD...out of his 5 acceptances

[Anonymous]

I had files my kids didn't know about. I researched a lot of schools and was a quick study. That way when DD/DS mentioned a school (out of the blue) I knew what aspects, I thought, were important - - undergrad vs grad enrollment, % of students living on campus, % of out-of- state students. These are just examples. Researching schools I THOUGHT would be good fits for them helped when they came to me to discuss the schools THEY THOUGHT would be good. Certainly in the end if was their decision that mattered, but the process was valuable to me. I was more relaxed and more confident in their decision making because of the research I had done.

[Anonymous]

I would say to my kid, "I need 15minutes of your time today" to work on an application. They is an awful lot of demographic/time consuming data entry involved. You do want them to put in the effort, but there is an awful lot and it has to be done w/out mistakes and it was to be done on time.

15 minutes isn't much but that would stretch to longer. And in another day or two, I'd repeat. We got there eventually.