Ughh....Trying to get father off Oxycontin.

[Anonymous]

My Father is addicted to Narcotics -- prescription narcotics for pain. He is about 78 years old, and was doing 140 g of the meds daily; he has overdosed at least 8 times since 2014. Oh, and he grinds the pills and snorts them. The doctors are (correctly) weaning him off; he claims he is doing about 20-30 g/day. But, a week ago Thursday, he found his stash (my step mom had hidden it and gave him his daily doses every morning). He OD'd again.

He was sent to the ER. His wife basically threw him out, and my sister (who is local with him), sat with him. With that surge, it was clear the process of weaning him off the meds is not working, because my father cares about the drugs than anything else. It was clear to me that he had been coddled too long. I decided it was was time for an intervention my sister and his wife agreed.

I dropped everything, and flew across country. We met with the doctor yesterday -- sister and I; wife wanted nothing to do with it. He was blatantly lying to the doctor, but the doctor stood firm -- only relenting in allowing a more rapid and controlled taper with a series of prescriptions for one days meds, each day with fewer with the previous meeting.

I talked to him about the need for help -- the psychological component of the addiction. He refused. I talked to him about the consequences of a relapse: I would report him to the state medical board (he is a retired physician and has a medical license; his retirement was hastened because he came to work stoned), and DMV -- as his driving stoned will kill someone. He threatened to kill the family, points out that he has a gun. And will use it.

I am basically ready to leave today.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Hit submit too early.

I aslo pointed out that he will be alone. His wife will leave him, and the next time I saw him would be one of our funerals.

He was stoned at my daughters (his grand daughters Bat Mitzvah). He OD'd the day I had cancer surgery -- part of a lung removed -- redirecting all of my support to him. Fortunately, the ICU nurses focused on me, and not him.

I am at a loss of what more I can do.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP. This is such an addictive drug it makes me furious that doctors use it to treat pain.

It sounds as if he needs to be admitted to a treatment facility, but I doubt he would agree to it.
I hate to say this (you probably already know it) - it is going to be next to impossible to get him off the drug without his cooperation or interest in doing so.

The first thing I would do is get the gun out of the house.
Sorry I can’t give you more advise.
Maybe someone here will lead you in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

He's had a good life. Let him burn out.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry.
At this point, you need to worry about the effect this is having on you, and get yourself the therapy and support you need to deal with this.
You have done everything you can do (besides calling the DMV to tell them, but sounds like he would drive anyways and his wife won't actually take the car key and you don't like locally to call the police when he's driving on drugs)
I wouldn't worry about the medical board, at 78 he can't be seeing patients.

[Anonymous]

Report him to the state medical board and the dmv now. Don't use it as a threat for the future; he is hurting himself - and is s danger to others - now. I don't know the laws on mandatory impatient detox, but it sounds like he needs that. At the very least, you could report his suicidal/homicidal thoughts to his doctor. And his wife should move out. Or change the locks. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. This is such an addictive drug it makes me furious that doctors use it to treat pain.

It sounds as if he needs to be admitted to a treatment facility, but I doubt he would agree to it.
I hate to say this (you probably already know it) - it is going to be next to impossible to get him off the drug without his cooperation or interest in doing so.

The first thing I would do is get the gun out of the house.
Sorry I can’t give you more advise.
Maybe someone here will lead you in the right direction.

Oxycodone is extremely helpful on reducing pain, especially post surgical, with the least amount of side effects and has helped exponentially more people than become addicted.
Other wise I agree with your sentiments

[Anonymous]

Has he seen an addiction specialist/been evaluated for suboxone or is the physician his PCP? Worth seeing a specialist absolutely. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has he seen an addiction specialist/been evaluated for suboxone or is the physician his PCP? Worth seeing a specialist absolutely. Good luck.

he refuses to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. This is such an addictive drug it makes me furious that doctors use it to treat pain.

It sounds as if he needs to be admitted to a treatment facility, but I doubt he would agree to it.
I hate to say this (you probably already know it) - it is going to be next to impossible to get him off the drug without his cooperation or interest in doing so.

The first thing I would do is get the gun out of the house.
Sorry I can’t give you more advise.
Maybe someone here will lead you in the right direction.

He lives an extremely pro-gun state (Idaho). I do not know where the gun is in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Father is addicted to Narcotics -- prescription narcotics for pain. He is about 78 years old, and was doing 140 g of the meds daily; he has overdosed at least 8 times since 2014. Oh, and he grinds the pills and snorts them. The doctors are (correctly) weaning him off; he claims he is doing about 20-30 g/day. But, a week ago Thursday, he found his stash (my step mom had hidden it and gave him his daily doses every morning). He OD'd again.

He was sent to the ER. His wife basically threw him out, and my sister (who is local with him), sat with him. With that surge, it was clear the process of weaning him off the meds is not working, because my father cares about the drugs than anything else. It was clear to me that he had been coddled too long. I decided it was was time for an intervention my sister and his wife agreed.

I dropped everything, and flew across country. We met with the doctor yesterday -- sister and I; wife wanted nothing to do with it. He was blatantly lying to the doctor, but the doctor stood firm -- only relenting in allowing a more rapid and controlled taper with a series of prescriptions for one days meds, each day with fewer with the previous meeting.

I talked to him about the need for help -- the psychological component of the addiction. He refused. I talked to him about the consequences of a relapse: I would report him to the state medical board (he is a retired physician and has a medical license; his retirement was hastened because he came to work stoned), and DMV -- as his driving stoned will kill someone. He threatened to kill the family, points out that he has a gun. And will use it.

I am basically ready to leave today.

I went through this with my mother, who was an RN. She eventually died in a car accident that she caused. She was driving under the influence. She caused a 6 car accident by crossing the center line on a rural highway. She died at the scene. The passenger in another vehicle had to be be airlifted from the scene and later died.

I tried everything. I reported her to her licensing board. I talked to her doctors. I talked to her. I fought with her. We had a couple of trips to the ER and ICU for overdoses. Nothing worked.

I am so sorry. I hope your father gets better. If he is not willing to consent to treatment, though, there isn't much that you can do. Protect yourself. Help the other people in your family protect themselves. Get as far away from the wreckage as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's had a good life. Let him burn out.

This it's his choice. There's nothing YOU can do for him. I'm sorry. It must be very hard to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. This is such an addictive drug it makes me furious that doctors use it to treat pain.

It sounds as if he needs to be admitted to a treatment facility, but I doubt he would agree to it.
I hate to say this (you probably already know it) - it is going to be next to impossible to get him off the drug without his cooperation or interest in doing so.

The first thing I would do is get the gun out of the house.
Sorry I can’t give you more advise.
Maybe someone here will lead you in the right direction.

He lives an extremely pro-gun state (Idaho). I do not know where the gun is in the house.

All you can do in that case is report the threat to the local police. They will talk to him and keep an eye on the situation. Make sure the rest of the family is aware and knows to stay clear. A local attorney or domestic violence agency might be able to help with an order of protection. (If he has an OP, he cannot legally possess a firearm.)

[Anonymous]

Report him and walk away. You've done what you can. Protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Some of my relatives have found support through a Narc Anon group that is a support group for friends and loved ones of individuals with addictions. It really helped them.