How would you split costs of this birthday getaway with friends?
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Anonymous
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Going to: undisclosed location in January for a weekend
Person 1: Me (DC will be with grandparent) Person 2: Friend, birthday, may be traveling with DD Person 3: Friend, also birthday - will likely make a it family trip with spouse, 2 kids We're all close with each other, so sharing quarters is no big deal. If it were just us girlfriends, I would pay for the hotel room as a birthday treat to them (we could fit in one - happily, and have a good time). But with kids and a spouse, we’d need 2 rooms at least. Two rooms is too much for me to pay. What about group dinner/meals? I love my friends and would love to treat them - but it’s a bit too much for me to pay for everyone, kids included. That at least doubles things. What's the etiquette here? What's a considerate way to pick up some of the costs as a birthday gift to them, but not burden myself with paying for everyone and everyone's kids? |
Anonymous
| Who invited who? |
Anonymous
| Have a girls night out and treat them to can, drinks and the meal. Can the spouse ( a man?) take care of your friend's DD for that night? |
Anonymous
Can === cab |
Anonymous
This. I'm confused, Is everyone traveling to this location for the birthdays or is it a coincidence everyone will be there at the same time (family there? Work?) How did the spouse and children get in on the plan if it was a girls weekend? |
Anonymous
No one really invited anyone. It was more of a "hey we should do a group trip soon. how about in January? that way we can celebrate person 2 & 3's bday." And then it just went from there. |
Anonymous
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I guess I'm mostly concerned about hotel rooms.
Friend with the one child, will likely share a room with me. Friend with family, will have their own room. Should I just treat friends to a girl's night out w/ meal, drinks, etc? And everyone pay for their own hotel (and I split that one room)? I would feel like the right thing to do would be pay for that room entirely, but then it wouldn't be an equal "treat" to the other friend. I'm probably overthinking this, as I don't think they'd take any of this personally, lol |
Anonymous
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I would suggest:
Two hotel rooms, one for you and friend with a child and one for the family. You spliT the cost of the room with your friend the family pays for its room, maybe adjoining rooms if that is available. Alternatively you could get a suite if that made sense where you are going. If you want to do a birthday splurge for your friends then you pick up a nice dinner out for all and maybe spa gift certificates for the birthday friends. If there is extreme income disparity between everyone then maybe I would pay for more if that made sense. |
Anonymous
Dude, you need to chill! If I were at he receiving end. I would prefer the luxury of a great as opposed to a free room. |
Anonymous
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If I had my kid along, I'd pay more. Furthermore, I would not expect you to treat the entire crew. If spouse cannot handle his kid and mine (let's say that option was on the table) and we ALL went out, you'd pay your portion.
I can't imagine that anyone would ask you to pay more than your share. This friends thing is ridiculous, IMO. Either just head off with the girlfriends or end it. I have friends scattered about, and when we plan a trip, spouses and kids are off limits.
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Anonymous
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OP, why in the world are you trying to pay for hotel rooms for a group trip when there is a family going, and another mother bringing her child?
You didn't invite anyone. It's a group planning this, 2 who decided to bring their family. If you want to celebrate their birthdays, buy a gift, or take them out to eat, book massages, whatever. I don't understand why you are trying to pay for other adults /family hotel rooms |
Anonymous
Agree - do a girl's night out or a happy hour with drinks and light food (my friends and I tend to prefer afternoons where we can more easily talk than evenings). If you want to do something more, then maybe a little gift for each of them. But for the trip, definitely everyone pays their own way. Have fun. |
Anonymous
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What an odd arrangement of adults, couples, families, kids going. Can't imagine how that will work out with doing activities or meals together. Why would you want to travel with other people's kids? Unless their kids are teens needing less supervision & your child is much younger.
Don't worry about treating anything. Maybe buy a round of drinks or dessert. |
Anonymous
| I'm afraid to ask why another friends husband wanted in on the fun with his wife and her two besties. |
Anonymous
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Op, it's no longer a Birthday Trip with the gals.
Her husband or she should pay for her/the family. Don't make it complicated by trying to be seen as generous. Each pay for their own expenses. |