1st grader and competition

[Anonymous]

Our six year old daughter seems abnormality stressed by competition. (What she calls winning and losing games) I don't feel we've put any amount of pressure on her. Nor, do I think we've sheltered her in any specific way from the concepts of good winners and good losers. We play board games at home, for example. However, it's to the point where she got agitated talking about a few activities for her birthday party because she didn't want games with winners, she is getting stressed about PE class, and she is getting resistant to doing any of the after school, very low key sports activities. She loves to draw, and she almost started crying last month when I suggested she do a drawing for a local kids art competition. As long as she's active, I don't particularly care if she is into sports, but I feel like her extremely stressed reaction to being in a competitive situation isn't good. Does anyone have any similar issue with their kid?

[Anonymous]

My DD also dislikes competition. In 1st grade, we didn't push it at all. We'd occasionally play board games but she didn't want to do team sports so she stayed active via a "kid fitness" class and things like roller skating and hiking. Finally in 4th grade she expressed interest in trying a sport, but not with a team. She's doing martial arts and it's been rough going sometimes because the competition part is hard for her but it's getting better. I'm glad we didn't push her earlier and let her come to it at her own pace.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 10. Some kids like competition, some kids don't. It's part of their personality. You can guide them in handling situations but you can't fix this in your DD. She will still get stressed by competition. She wants to win and be a winner. Other kids won't care to the degree she does and some kids will.

[Anonymous]

Have you read alfie kohn? I also wouldn't push it. Let her enjoy her activities without it being judged against others. Definitely don't make art competitive!

[Anonymous]

My son at that age was happy to participate but it was ALWAYS a struggle to be a good sport. It has changed dramatically over the last 4 years. Focus on building her self esteem through her mastery of stuff she likes for now. She'll be fine.