Movies on DS's List -- Ted and 40 Year Old Virgin

[Anonymous]

My 14 yo DS claims his friends have already seen these flicks. He loves comedy, but based on the values we want to teach him, we don't condone watching movies laden with sexual messages like these. We are thankful he hasn't gone on his own to watch these movies. I am sure he will at some point and honestly, I would rather he do it without us. We like to watch movies together as a family and have watched many r rated movies, but we just can't see ourselves sitting through these. How far will you go with r rated movies with your teens?

[Anonymous]

As long as it won't give me nightmares, I watch anything Dd 12.5 wants to. I'd rather watch what she's watching and be able to talk to her about it, answer questions about it, and bring it up later to make a point in a way she'll listen to.

I pretty much let DD watch whatever she wants. Not porn obviously, but any mainstream movie? Sure. Having said that, she is good at self-regulating. When someone gave her Hunger Games for her 8th birthday, I put it on a shelf high up and told her "Let's save this for when you're older and can really enjoy it."

I think you should let him. Trust me - he won't have a great time hearing sex jokes in a movie when he's sitting next to mommy.

[Anonymous]

Ted is not a movie you want to sit down and watch as a family. The 40 year old virgin ultimately has an outlook on sex that you'd probably approve of, but it definitely shows the other side too.

[Anonymous]

A 14 year old boy has already watched porn. Don;t worry about R rated movies. If you want to avoid anything for him, avoid violent, disturbing R rated movies, not R rated comedy's with brief nudity and sexual innuendo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo DS claims his friends have already seen these flicks. He loves comedy, but based on the values we want to teach him, we don't condone watching movies laden with sexual messages like these. We are thankful he hasn't gone on his own to watch these movies. I am sure he will at some point and honestly, I would rather he do it without us. We like to watch movies together as a family and have watched many r rated movies, but we just can't see ourselves sitting through these. How far will you go with r rated movies with your teens?

Values or not, if your DS wants to see the movies he can do it pretty easily without your knowledge. My DD just turned 16 and has seen Trainwreck 3 times already. And she saw Ted when she was either 14 or 15, at a friend's house.

I wanted to add also that this is not a "value-based" issue really. I have high morals and watch rated R movies all the time granted I am an adult but you are equating watching these kinds of movies with having low values or morals. Its what your kid does with the information after the movie that determines his true nature. If he's mature enough he should be able to separate truth from fiction. appropriate vs. inappropriate behavior in the real world.

I say trust the kid, let him watch them.

[Anonymous]

I don't censor media at all, unless I'm sure it's going to be harmful to my individual kid (nightmares, specific mental health triggers, etc), so absent those concerns I would just let him watch. And +1 to PP's statement:

anonymous wrote:I wanted to add also that this is not a "value-based" issue really. ... Its what your kid does with the information after the movie that determines his true nature. If he's mature enough he should be able to separate truth from fiction. appropriate vs. inappropriate behavior in the real world .

[Anonymous]

My 15 yo watcher Orange is the New Black.

I am not really sure what you are protecting him from. I would rather have him watch it and talk to him about the part that are a bit disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15 yo watcher Orange is the New Black.

I am not really sure what you are protecting him from. I would rather have him watch it and talk to him about the part that are a bit disturbing.

OP here. I don' think you understand my point. I expect he will watch it without us, and told him that might the best way to handle it. We just don't feel comfortable watching it with him. I tried to watch 40 YOV with him the other night. We shut if off after 15 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Do you have conversations about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. with him or do you hate and avoid these conversations? If you are able to have honest, frank conversations about these topics and still don't want to watch the movies with him, I get that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have conversations about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. with him or do you hate and avoid these conversations? If you are able to have honest, frank conversations about these topics and still don't want to watch the movies with him, I get that.

Yes we have had those conversations, not a lot about drugs and alcohol yet...we are just starting up on that subject. He hasn't been exposed to any friends that drink or do drugs yet, at least he hasn't shared that with us. I just don't want to be there when he watches the sexual scenes in the movies...nor do I want to smoke his first joint with him.