Question for those that have kids with anxiety

[Anonymous]

Cross posting this with the hopes of getting some responses.

This is sort of a spin off of another thread: If your child has anxiety, when did it start (how old were they), was there a trigger? Does he/she have any other issues? What have you done about it? My 7yo DD has started showing some concerning signs. Things like, not being able to fall asleep because she is fixated on a stressful event or scenario. Imagining bad things happening and not being able to get them out of her mind, etc.

I've struggled with similar thoughts on and off since probably middle school and since having DC #2 was on anti anxiety meds for 3, went off for a few months and am now back on again. I'm worried that she has inherited my anxious tendencies and want to find a way to help her before it gets worse. Any advice would be much appreciated!

[Anonymous]

Be honest with your child about your own struggles. My mom kept it secret for years which made it harder to deal with my own anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be honest with your child about your own struggles. My mom kept it secret for years which made it harder to deal with my own anxiety.

I am, but she's only 7 so I don't want to add to her anxieties by piling on mine. Because it would make her feel worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest with your child about your own struggles. My mom kept it secret for years which made it harder to deal with my own anxiety.

I am, but she's only 7 so I don't want to add to her anxieties by piling on mine. Because it would make her feel worse.

NP, I agree with you PP in that you don't want to stress her out more. You can empathize and tell her you sometimes feel the same way. It may be a phase, but if not you'll probably need to take her to a therapist.

[Anonymous]

At what point would you take your child to a therapist? Whenever she has these episodes, I always try to find out if there is some other cause for her anxiety but most of the time she doesn't even know herself.

At this point, it is not affecting her day-to-day activities like camp/school, etc. It seems to be happening mainly at night/bedtime, but it is becoming more regular.

[Anonymous]

I was a child with anxiety. It probably emerged around 6 or 7 years old. I don't think there was a specific trigger. I frequently had anxious or guilty feelings; I would then feel guilty about those feelings and it would send me into a spiral. The worst thing anyone ever said to me (and they said it a lot because they thought they were being helpful) was "if you don't tell us why you're crying, we can't help you!" And, of course, I honestly didn't know why I was crying.

Back then, we didn't know children could have anxiety. My dad's a psychiatrist and he never picked up on it. But it would have been really nice, I think, to have a therapist or someone else to talk to.

In my 20s, I was diagnosed, and Zoloft made a huge difference. But talk therapy is still what I prefer.

[Anonymous]

We have am anxious child -now a teen His anxiety was part of his. Personality from a very young age. It waxes and wanes depending on what is going on in his life, but overall he is a happy and successful kid - therapy and the right meds make a big difference, so don't hesitate to go talk to a doctor if you think this is a problem.

[Anonymous]

We have am anxious child -now a teen His anxiety was part of his. Personality from a very young age. It waxes and wanes depending on what is going on in his life, but overall he is a happy and successful kid - therapy and the right meds make a big difference, so don't hesitate to go talk to a doctor if you think this is a problem.

[Anonymous]

It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist. My nephew had bad anxiety starting in preschool and really benefitted from a therapist - with long-lasting impacts. He's 10 now, with the same tendencies, but the skills to reason himself down. Addressing it early was really beneficial to him.

My 6 year old recently had some of the behavior you describe. For a couple months, he was fixated on a scary scenario, and his fears would manifest at bedtime. I talked to my Sister about it, employed some of the strategies their therapist taught, and the situation quickly resolved.

[Anonymous]

My daughter reports that she remembers having anxiety from about 1st grade onward. And it's true, that when we look back (she's a teenager now), the signs were there: endless hypothetical questions about fires, accidents, and other scary events, difficulty with change, and a pronounced need for control.

My kiddo has had a fair amount of trauma (personal and medical) in her life, so that's a factor. When she is in an especially anxious period (like now), things in her daily environment can trigger a spiral into obsessive fear/worry.

My husband often says that he wishes that we would have recognized these signs and sought out therapy when DD was younger, if only to address her resistance to therapy in MS. Personally, I think that therapy is probably going to be an ongoing part of DD's life--not continuously, but off and on.

[Anonymous]

My ds has severe anxiety. He is 8. He always had some form of anxiety. I remember when he was 6 months old we left him with a babysitter. He screamed for 2.5 hours. He had severe separation anxiety. He also would freak out about getting dirty as a toddler. We often had to leave the park because he got wet or dirty. He has severely limited his diet, which a recent study found a correlation between picky eating and anxiety. He started having issues in school with classmates being too loud and, you know, being typical 8 year olds. He is in therapy now.

There is a great book I can recommend that Kennedy Krieger recommended:

http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Anxious-Child-Step---Step/dp/1572245751/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1439653055&sr=1-1&keywords=helping+your+anxious+child

It has been very helpful!

[Anonymous]

We did CBT in 3rd grade and he meditated through middle school.

[Anonymous]

CBT ASAP. It's easier to learn the coping skills at a younger age, and before the patterns of anxious though become too engrained. -- anxious parent of anxious child.

[Anonymous]

Kindergarten ... DC had such a difficult time. Entering 2nd now and, after a lot of work, are doing better overall. We're considering adding Zoloft (already medicating for ADHD). We've really, really, love the book "What to do when you worry too much". DC asked us to read that almost nightly for a long time and it really seemed to help.

[Anonymous]

OP, you might want to try addressing it sooner rather than later. DC, now 13, has had anxiety as long as we can remember - we've tried both medication and therapy over the years but DC is currently quite resistant to therapy. DC also fell into depression for about 6 months earlier this year and that makes things even harder. DC just seems wired this way and it is tough. Hugs to you and good luck.