What to do about verbal abuse
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Anonymous
| My sister is very verbally abusive to her 3 year old. I've talked to her about it multiple times to know avail. What should I do? I feel so bad for my nephew. She lives out of state and I do not see them often, but Herat her abusing him regularly over the phone. |
Anonymous
| Tell us about the father. |
Anonymous
| The father is not in the picture at all. |
Anonymous
| Do you know any of her friends? Anyone who lived near her? |
Anonymous
| Lives |
Anonymous
| I have a cousin who lives near her. |
Anonymous
| She is overwhelmed with life, hence the shouting. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I agree she's overwhelmed. So do I just ignore it? I'm afraid it's negatively impacting my nephew. |
Anonymous
Does she have help locally? If not can you visit and give her some time away? Or give her a few hours with a mothers helper every week? (I realize this may not be possible but it would be helpful to them both.) |
Anonymous
No, you think of stuff you could do that would help her not be overwhelmed, and then you offer to do that stuff. |
Anonymous
Honestly no. That lets the sister off easy. Fact is, life is hard sometimes. Theres not always gonna be someone there to take the load off... That doesn't mean that you lose your shit at your three year old. -child of an emotionally/verbally abusive home. |
Anonymous
|
OP I think you know this isn't acceptable. I suspect your sister does too.
Does she have insurance? Is it possible for her to see a psych or counselor? She needs to talk to someone about more constructive ways of dealing with her frustrations around her son now. It has a huge effect. I have blocked out huge parts of my childhood because of the tension from the yelling. This is something she can turn around -- he's still young and it sounds like you love her and she cares, but it's hard. |
Anonymous
|
Can you visit or offer to take your nephew for a weekend once a month or so? It would give your sister a break she can look forward to, and you can also build your own relationship with your nephew. It would be helpful for him to get away from his tense Mom once in a while and experience a calmer environment. He'll also learn he has other family he can count on.
I think your sister would also benefit from a good parenting class. You can suggest she ask her son's pediatrician, teacher or the director of the childcare center. Or send her a copy of a good parenting book. I always liked the techniques in "Parenting with Love and Logic." |
Anonymous
| If you gently and lovingly express your concern, might she be receptive? Can she handle feedback or criticism? |