Parent/teacher conference?

[Anonymous]

I have my first real parent-teacher conference for my four-year-old on Friday. I am pretty happy with the school and I only have one concern that I want to discuss with the teacher. Will the teacher sort of "run" the conference? Does anyone else prepare - like making a list of questions, etc.?

I'm only asking because it's the only time that I'll have this one-on-one time with the teacher. And I feel like the teacher sort of sticks to these sort-of annoying generalizations that don't really tell me anything about my child or my child's experience at school - things like how many hours of sleep my child should get each night.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

In my limited experience (also with a 4 year old), yes, the teacher did sort of run the conference, but in a good way. She had a little report card filled out and it was a nice starting point for discussion. The conference was only 1/2 hour and it took some time to go through the report, so if you have specific questions/ points to bring up, I think it would be smart to write them down and go in with them. If you want particular points covered, I think you have to ask point-blank and keep her off of the generalities that you mention.

[Anonymous]

Mom who has gone through more parent teacher conferences for my kids than I can count. yes, the teacher will run the conference. And, that only makes sense. The conference has been set up so that they can convey to you information about your child's performance in school so who better to run the conference. You will have an opportunity to ask questions. As far as preparing, yes, I prepare. Everytime. In fact, MoCo gives mini classes to parents on how to prepare for parent teacher conferences so I assume that many/most parents prepare. The best thing to do is write down your questions, as you are already doing. That way, you won't leave the conference having forgotten anything. As far as only getting generalizations that aren't particularly useful, that has never been my experience. I may not always agree with the suggestions that I receive and I may not have the same experience with my child that the teacher does, but the information has always been substantive.

One of the things that I always found interesting in the MoCo classes in preparing for parent teacher conferences is this. No matter how competent we parents are in real life, we become total wimps when it comes to the conferences. We dred them. We do the door knob therapy thing - as we are leaving we stop with our hand on the door knob and ask the most important question we have. We babble and forget to ask what we really want to know. So, your preparation makes a lot of sense.

[Anonymous]

At my conference for my 4 year old this year, the teachers had a folder on which they had glued pictures of my guy at school. They could show me his huge block towers and him looking rapt at story time, rather than just telling me. Then I took the folder home and he and I discussed all the pictures and what went on at school. I've had a ton of parent teacher conferences and this one was by far the nicest.

[Anonymous]

i would suggest having both parents (if two parents) go to the conference. i'm a single parent, and i always wish i had someone else with me to help interpret the conference. the conference always seems to fly by, and you're left wondering what just was said. with respect to your concern, i might keep an eye on the clock and bring that up later in the conference. if you bring it up right away, it could potentially throw the whole focus of that conference to that one thing. it depends how much time you need to devote to your concern. also, i always try to remind myself to let the teacher do as much of the talking as possible.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is all great advice. Thank you very much!