I should advise sis to block depressed ex's calls and emails, right?

[Anonymous]

Just need some confirmation here that that's the right advice. They are mid-20's - dating since college, broke up about 4 months ago. He can't move on and is desperately emailing and texting. He has a history of depression and she's naturally worried about him. It appears no one (his friends and family) have really stepped up to support him. My take is: whether or not she want to help him, *she* can't. Is that right? (And for the record, she is asking for my advice.)

[Anonymous]

I don't advocate abandoning people who are sick. Did he abuse her, or is there some other reason that she should just ghost herself? Or do you think he's faking the depression for attention?

Does he have medical insurance or access to mental health care?

If it's causing her to be depressed and anxious herself, I'd advocate her telling him, "Ralph, I am concerned about your health and safety - you seem really depressed. But I'm not your girlfriend and I'm not a therapist - I can't help you. We are not going to get back together, and I am not qualified to give you the medical and theraputic support you need."

[Anonymous]

I'm open to pp's perspective, but do people really consider it "ghosting" if they're broken up and she tells him, "I don't want to hear from you anymore"? He has insurance and has been to therapy- he says it's not working. Of course it's giving her anxiety- she feels terrible. She's been trying to "help" him through it on and off for the past 4 months. Don't you all think that's worse for him in the long run?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't advocate abandoning people who are sick. Did he abuse her, or is there some other reason that she should just ghost herself? Or do you think he's faking the depression for attention?

Does he have medical insurance or access to mental health care?

If it's causing her to be depressed and anxious herself, I'd advocate her telling him, "Ralph, I am concerned about your health and safety - you seem really depressed. But I'm not your girlfriend and I'm not a therapist - I can't help you. We are not going to get back together, and I am not qualified to give you the medical and theraputic support you need."

Your sis should talk to his family and let them know what is going on.. It really shouldn't be her problem at this point.

[Anonymous]

That's not ghosting.

SHE can't be the one to help him through his breakup with her. She should tell his family and friends about her concerns, tell him about her concerns and encourage him to get help. This is keeping her in his life, so along with everything else it's not giving him a break and space to heal, it's just giving him an incentive to keep the dynamic going.

[Anonymous]

She needs to step away. He's not her problem.