Would you hire an au pair for an infant and toddler?

[Anonymous]

I am having baby#2 next month. We currently have an au pair who has been with our first since she was 3 months old. she is going back home in October so whe will only need to care for the new baby and the 2 year old for one month when I return to work.

We are looking for a new au pair and even though some seem qualified to handle two kids (newborn and 2 year old), I feel that it may get overwhelming for someone who isn't used to this type of arrangement for th elong term. My husband feels it will be fine, but I am wondering if we should look into a nanny or even daycare (which I prefer not to use for an infant). A nanny would be just out of our budget and daycare would be inconvenient due to our work schedules.

[Anonymous]

I would never leave an infant with an au pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave an infant with an au pair.

I was given this same advice by someone who had an au pair for her toddler and school age child. She told me that age 3 would be the youngest she'd use an au pair.

[Anonymous]

Age 3 is exactly what I also feel is a safe age.

[Anonymous]

Curious as to why? I never knew this "rule of thumb" before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious as to why? I never knew this "rule of thumb" before.

For me it's just my own comfort zone...
For an under 3 child I think the caregiver needs to be more experienced.

[Anonymous]

It is so hard with an au pair because you can't meet them. I was trying to get an au pair, but I just couldn't do it so far because of that problem. I was counseled by our coordinator though that it is possible to get an au pair capable of it by screening very many applications and that you make sure you get one with a lot of experience. It is very time consuming though and still seems like a crap shoot to me. We are using a nanny at the moment, and I feel like it works so much better. I had to interview a dozen or so nanny candidates before I found one that was the right match, so I have no idea how you could match well with someone overseas you never meet and can't speak English that well.

[Anonymous]

Au Pairs often have little experience with newborns or young toddlers even .Add that to the fact that you have never met them before and I'm just not comfortable with that idea. Would you leave your infant and toddler with a random 20 year old regardless of wether they come from ove seas or not? I wouldn't. So no, I would not get an Au Pair for an infant and toddler.

[Anonymous]

An infant and a toddler together can be very stressful (says the SAHM). Toddlers can be very demanding -- they aren't yet old enough to really wait their turn; honestly in many ways they are still babies, just more mobile.

Infants do sleep a lot, but they can be fussy for days on end and they can not sleep so much. If you want someone to care for both and infant AND a toddler in your home, away from the view, help, and support of others (as in a daycare center), you definitely want someone who is doing this type of work professionally -- an experienced nanny. I suppose you can find an au pair who has good experience caring for two very young children, but I think it would be much harder. And you can't really interview the au pair in person as you can a nanny.

[Anonymous]

This is why.... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/19517.stm

Anyone remember Louise Woodward?

[Anonymous]

I think it can be done but you have to be very careful in the selection process. I know that the au pair agency that I use has infant specialized au pairs. There are many au pairs who are 25-26 and who are nurses or teachers back home. In fact, I know of three au pairs off the top of my head who are taking care of two young children/babies - in some cases twins.

[Anonymous]

Former au pair here.
Before coming to US I worked for 4 years in a foster home/orphanage with children aged from birth up to 7yo.

This myth that Au Pairs are not experienced is base in prejudice and ignorance.

There are very well qualified au pairs out there.
The question should be - Does she want to come to YOUR household?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why.... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/19517.stm

Anyone remember Louise Woodward?

Yes, I remember and that is exactly why I would never hire an Au Pair for that combinations of age.

For what its worth, I believe that Louise Woodward did kill the baby but did it by accident. Given the account, it appears that the baby was probably ill but that when she couldn't get the baby to wake she panicked and in her panic/hysteria, shook the baby too hard without having the intention of harming him/her.

Think about this way, if your daughter was 18/19/20 and had a toddler than came home and announced she was having a baby, what would be one of the first things you would say??? "How are you going to handle that?" Seriously, a girl that young doesn't need to be left 8 to 10 hours a day with children that small.

[Anonymous]

Experience counts for much more than age.

That said, I too would be very hesitant to leave that combo of ages with an au pair (or a less experienced nanny.)

Even the ones who are "infant qualified." Infant qualified au pairs can use children up to age 2 as an "infant." There is a far cry between a 4 month old and a 20 month old. A quote from one agency, "Infant Specialized au pairs provide families with infants (0-12 months) with a trained au pair who specializes in infant caregiving and development. All Infant Specialized au pairs have at least 200 documented hours of childcare experience with infants and children under two."

If you're going to do this, screen exceptionally well and have a system of checks in place.

[Anonymous]

No way, this would be too overwhelming for the vast majority of 20 yr olds. Says SAHM #2 posting here.

It's not that a 20 yr old is incapable of learning how to juggle the workload initially, it's more the crushing burden of doing this 45 hrs every single week for an entire year. I'm worn out thinking about those days.

Why can't daycare work for you?