texting
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Anonymous
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How would you talk to a 13 year old DD who is caught texting. No parental permission taken before creating an account and using it for 3 months now.
nothing bad in the texts itself. But why hide it from parents? |
Anonymous
| Was it forbidden or just not discussed? If you didn't have a discussion about when or about needing permission before, then it doesn't seem like hiding it. And, if that is the case, then I would set up some rules about monitoring. |
Anonymous
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OP here: It was discussed that anything she does online has to have parental permission. She created this account and has not taken permission.
I accidentally came across it. Once I found out I asked for credentials. for the longest time she refused to share credentials for that account. Then finally she gave it to me and I checked the texts. they seem fine. My concern is, why you could not do this with transparency. why hide and do it? I also worry if something got deleted before handing over credentials to me? How can I monitor all online activity? How can I make her open up to me (mom) and confide in me? Anytime this conversation is brought up, she goes into defensive or gets very upset. How can I even establish rules and expectations if discussing this topic and trust issues seem like pulling out a tooth. What surprises me is that she is a brilliant student. So I did not even expect this from her. |
Anonymous
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The reason kids don't open up to their parents is because of the judgment they receive when they do. So when DD told me "Guess what Ella told me? She tried her mom's cigarette last weekend." I have the urge to say "Ella is now dead to you; forget you've ever known her" but instead I said "Wow, what did you think when Ella told you that?" and "Do you ever get the urge to try smoking?"
Tell your DD you must have all passwords and user names for all her accounts. That she must hand over her phone ANY time you ask for it. |
Anonymous
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OP Here: Thank you for the advice.
I think I have to be less criticizing and calmly listen to what DD has to say. |