raising a teen
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Anonymous
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DD is 14. I do not know DD's friends parents. But most seem to know each other or at least some of them know each other.
I am not sure how to start to get to know other parents. These parents seem to know everything like who is the coolest kid in the group or what are the after school activities that they can send the kids together. DD gets invited to some get togethers or some birthday parties. DD is the only child in the group without a smart phone or a cell phone of any sort. I recently went to drop DD at a birthday party. most parents are talking of things or events that I am not aware of or maybe DD did not get invited. Most kids have a cell phone and text each other as to where they should meet during the summer. It is too much of a chore for them to email DD as she does not have a cell to send or receive text. With a combination of DD not having a cell phone and me not in touch with any other parent, I am worried if DD will loose out on these friendships. Most of the kids are really good kids. There are a couple who are mean to DD. They try to take away friendships or over exaggerate how much fun they had at a party (which DD was invited to.) It is pretty obvious that they want to make DD feel bad. But then it is just these 2 kids out of 10 kids that do it constantly. How can I repair this situation? I want DD to be happy and safe. |
Anonymous
| Get your kid a smart phone. Almost all of them have one. It is hard enough to fit in at this age, do this to help her socially. Also, you might be amazed at how much it helps you communicate with her too! |
Anonymous
| Def time for a phone! She's 14 for pete's sake! |
Anonymous
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Why aren't you giving her a smart phone?
BTW, I've found when I've reached out to people one on one (vs walking up to a group of people who are friends) they're generally quite receptive. Just reach out to the nicest-seeming one and say "Hey, what are you signing Larla up for this fall? I was thinking that since my girl and Larla seem to be friends they might like to do something after school together." |
Anonymous
| Agree with PP. It seems like OP is writing to get responses that you are moral high ground. Well I believe that if you make an effort to be friendly with other parents, they will be friendly back. If you don't care, that is fine but don't pin it all on other parents. And at 14, no reason not to get phone. That is high school age. |
Anonymous
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I am not planning my kids life when they are in HS. You need a phone to do that, unfortunately.
I don't know all the parents it is impossible once the kids are in HS. |
Anonymous
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By high school my kid had a phone and made social plans without my direct involvement.
I think a phone is somewhat essential today, given patterns of teen social interaction. That seems to be the obvious solution as I read your post. What objections, if any, would you have to getting her a phone? Maybe they can be addressed and worked through so you're comfortable doing so. I think it would certainly benefit her. |
Anonymous
| Get her a phone. I have a friend who has kept both her high school girls from social media and phones. Guess what they don't have any close true friends. Don't do this to your kid. |
Anonymous
| why does it have to be a smartphone? Don't dumb phones have text capability, too? |
Anonymous
Kids communicate via snapchat and make social plans via Facebook groups. You need a smartphone for those. |
Anonymous
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I am the original poster.
Thank you all for the inputs you have given. I will get her a smart phone. But I would like to have some idea about how this phone will be used by DD. I would like to know who she is calling and what apps are getting installed. How can I make this information available to me as a parent? |
Anonymous
easy.. just tell her that you will get her the phone on condition that you check it every night. It's a reasonable parental request. My friend has a 15 yr old, and they still check his phone. |