Force social interaction?

[Anonymous]

I'm noticing my soon to be 14 year old son mostly stays in touch with school friends via text. He hasn't arranged one face to face all summer. He is happy to just text.

I'm trying to facilitate social skills with him as his brother has ADHD and I'm really seeing the importance of the social skill development. This son is neurotypical. He does have OCD and is gifted.

OCD is very successfully managed at this time.

Anyway. I'm trying to put him in social situations with peers, he seems nervous. Would you push this? I do want him to come out of his comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell him he needs to have real life socializing happening, it's clear he's nervous, so let's come up with ways to work around that nervousness.

TIP: having a kid come over to vaguely "hang out" is a recipe for disaster. They need a planned activity to hide behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell him he needs to have real life socializing happening, it's clear he's nervous, so let's come up with ways to work around that nervousness.

TIP: having a kid come over to vaguely "hang out" is a recipe for disaster. They need a planned activity to hide behind.

Good idea. I am planning in some structured activities.
Just wondering do I leave it be or push him. I think you agree I need to push him.

[Anonymous]

Texting is a legitimate form of interacting for kids this age. I don't think I would totally dismiss it. Maybe make some suggestions and try to push him a little, but I wouldn't force it. He'll socialize more when school starts up again.

[Anonymous]

I would add that 14 is tough because they can't drive yet and don't want to be asking for rides.

The only kid my 13 year old has gotten together with this summer has been a friend of ours that lives/moved to over a school district. I think the fact that they've always had to schedule helps break the "uncool" factor.

Does your DS have friends through sports, scouts or church? I know my DS still sees some "school" friends at scouts once or twice a month and sees his sports friends during various summer training/camps.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old is neurotypical and is exactly like this. He does a few camps in the summer and enjoys them and socializes there, but otherwise texts and talks to friends via Skype.