Therapist recommendations?

[Anonymous]

My 6 yo DS (almost 7) continues to provide challenges to us, and I'm not sure where to go next for help.

He was accepted into Child Find when he was three for "Social / emotional delays" which generally meant that in school, he couldn't pay attention to what was going on, could get VERY upset and disruptive. At that time, I did a lot of reading about temperament and believe that he is "difficult." Raising Your Spirited Child was extremely helpful for us. Follwoing that book, he learned at an early age to negotiate and compromise. He attended the county special education preschool program. We also took him to a private therapist who helped give him tools to try to manage his emotions (red / yellow / green terminology, breathing exercises, muscle exercises, etc.)

In K, he had ZERO behavioral issues at school - got his sticker for good behavior every day. But, on the weekends, he was still very emotional and could get very angry, so we continued with therapy for a bit to keep working on his emotions. In 1st grade, again, no behavior issues at school, but was still very explosive at home. We saw another therapist (a new therapist as his first one had left the practice) for a few weeks who gave us some tools to help manage him during his explosions and after to try to train him not to get explosive.

Toward the end of 1st grade, he was diagnosed with dyslexia and dysgraphia (pretty strong, based on the scores) and also considered for ADHD (TOVA test said yes, another computer test was exactly 50/50 and the scales were not strongly ADHD / not ADHD). While ADHD was not diagnosed, we were given information and tools for ADHD to practice and also suggested that we monitor him for ADHD since it can be hard to discern between it and the dyslexia.

This summer, his behavior has been extremely explosive, and last weekend, he stood at the top of the stairs with one leg over and other on tip toes while he said he was going to kill himself b/c we didn't love him. This last situation was b/c we asked him to pick up the legos that he threw all over the house in a fit of rage over my inability to fix a bruised thumb (from lego-pushing). When he's calm, he is extremely sweet, thoughtful, engaging, charismatic and loving. And he knows how much we love him (bc we tell him and he acknowledges). When he's not in a fit, he engages very well in describing his emotions and why he got upset and is always remorseful if he hurt anyone. But, given his last episode, I feel like we need to get him back into therapy again. I don't think he's depressed and really wants to kill himself (he's only 6!), but I do fear that his emotions will get the better of him and he may make a mistake.

My issue is that I don't know where to take him. Psychiatrist? Psychologist? Specific names of helpful therapists would be extremely appreciated (we live in FFX). Thank you!

[Anonymous]

You need a psychologist to start with. If medication is needed the psychologist will be able to refer you.

I don't live in NoVa so no specific recommendations. You can call your pediatrician to ask for a referral.

What are you doing about addressing the dyslexia/dysgraphia?

[Anonymous]

Thank you - that's helpful - i'm not great at who does what in this arena. For the dyslexia, he's getting pulled out for most of his language arts block and doing Reading Mastery, which is not O-G based, but is multi-sensory. We are also doing 3x tutor per week on the Wilson method. We also got him an account for online books w/audio (not Learning Ally, but the name is escaping me) so he can independently read age-appropriate books. Not doing anything specific for dysgraphia at the moment.

[Anonymous]

My 8 year old was diagnosed with depression at 5 or 6...it is possible.

I recommend Stacy Coyle at the Ross Center. She has been a godsend.

Also, if anyone of any age verbalizes thoughts of suicide and has an actual plan (whether viable or not), you have to take it seriously. My son had some and we increase therapy and vigilance.

if it is cyclical, it could be bipolar disorder.

Get to a trained psychologist and/or psychiatrist ASAP.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. This sounds really rough, both for you and your DS. He's so little to understand all that's going on, but it sounds like you are doing your best to find the right help for him. I love how you're affirming his many wonderful qualities and assuring him of your love.

I agree your pediatrician may be in the best position to point you to the right specialist. Sending hugs and prayers for peace and wisdom in this process.

[Anonymous]

If you live in No Va, go to Circle in the Square Counseling group. Take your list of providers for your insurance into the school and ask the social worker/psychologist to circle people they know are good. The major school systems have Parent Resource Centers that have referral lists, as well as NIH. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

The list we got from our FCPS social worker was worthless, FWIW.

Do you need someone in-network or can you afford to go somewhere that doesn't take insurance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you live in No Va, go to Circle in the Square Counseling group. Take your list of providers for your insurance into the school and ask the social worker/psychologist to circle people they know are good. The major school systems have Parent Resource Centers that have referral lists, as well as NIH. Good luck.

PP, have you actually done this? We have not found ANY psychologists or psychiatrists in northern va with good reputations who are (1) in network and (2) accepting new patients. Let alone multiple providers to choose from. If you know of child psychologists and child psychiatrists who take insurance who you would recommend, please post their names here!

[Anonymous]

OP here - 16:45: thank you so much. I really appreciate your thoughts -- normally, I just get dirty looks from people who think I don't know how to discipline my child. Which, i guess I don't, but not for lack of trying! I just want to scream at them that I've read all the right books, and they work like a charm for my other two kids. But, some kids are just different...

20:02 - I've never heard of that -- what is it? I'll google it.

20:37 - in-network would be lovely, but I'm willing to do whatever we need to. All three of my kids have needs of some sort (hearing loss, speech delays / low tone), so we are used to doing a mix of county and private help.

13:41 -- I'm sorry that you're going through that with your DS - I hope for you that the therapy will provide your son with what he needs. Thank you for the name. She looks really good, but getting into the city is tough for us (we are in FFX). But, I'll definitely try her if I can't find anyone else closer.

If anyone has names / practices in / around FFX that you think would be helpful, I'd be very grateful -- thank you!

[Anonymous]

I have had good experiences with Dr. Laura Wilding: http://www.wildingpsychological.com/home.html

And also Despina Mannos: https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/Despina_Boudouvas-Mannos_MSW,LCSW_Vienna_Virginia_173942

Both used to work at InStep in Merrifield and now have private clinical practices. My DD has seen Despina off and on for several years for issues related to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

PP - thank you -- both of those names look like they could be helpful!

[Anonymous]

Try child and family counseling group in Fairfax