Anxiety Over Dropping DD at Sleepaway Camp

[Anonymous]

I'm taking my 10 year old DD to sleepaway camp tomorrow. It's a 2 week session and it's her first time at sleepaway. She's going with her best friend and it was her idea to go. But I'm really anxious about how things will go tomorrow. She did tell me today that she's scared, and we had a good talk about it and I told her some stories from when I went to sleepaway as a kid, about how nervous I was but how much I loved it after I settled in. The rest of the day she's seemed fine and was really calm while we were packing. But I'm trying to prepare myself for tears tomorrow when it's time to say goodbye. Any advice from those who have come before me? DD is sort of an introvert-extrovert. She wants to be social but has some social anxiety which she's been going to therapy for in the last few months, and of course that is compounding (or is the core of) my anxiety about drop off. Any advice/words of wisdom would be hugely appreciated. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

It's only two weeks. Even if it sucks, it's still ONLY two weeks. Where I come from, kids went for eight weeks. So two weeks is NOTHING. Plus she's going with a friend. Tell her to reach out to other kids who LOOK how she FEELS on the inside. Tell her to act the way she wants to feel, and the feelings will follow.

Sleepaway camps are totally prepared to deal with homesickness, introversion, etc. Whatever your DD throws at them, they'll be able to handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm taking my 10 year old DD to sleepaway camp tomorrow. It's a 2 week session and it's her first time at sleepaway. She's going with her best friend and it was her idea to go. But I'm really anxious about how things will go tomorrow. She did tell me today that she's scared, and we had a good talk about it and I told her some stories from when I went to sleepaway as a kid, about how nervous I was but how much I loved it after I settled in. The rest of the day she's seemed fine and was really calm while we were packing. But I'm trying to prepare myself for tears tomorrow when it's time to say goodbye. Any advice from those who have come before me? DD is sort of an introvert-extrovert. She wants to be social but has some social anxiety which she's been going to therapy for in the last few months, and of course that is compounding (or is the core of) my anxiety about drop off. Any advice/words of wisdom would be hugely appreciated. Thanks.

I was a total introvert as a child (and I still am!) but one thing I LOVED with all my heart and soul was sleep away camp. I went every year on scholarship until I became a CTA. I even worked as a GS counselor one year but was placed in a leadership position before I was ready and cracked. I haven't been back since but so many amazing friendships made (thought they only lasted that summer). I would imagine it has a role in shaping me into the person I am now.

[Anonymous]

^^^sorry meant to say C.I.T. instead of CTA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's only two weeks. Even if it sucks, it's still ONLY two weeks. Where I come from, kids went for eight weeks. So two weeks is NOTHING. Plus she's going with a friend. Tell her to reach out to other kids who LOOK how she FEELS on the inside. Tell her to act the way she wants to feel, and the feelings will follow.

Sleepaway camps are totally prepared to deal with homesickness, introversion, etc. Whatever your DD throws at them, they'll be able to handle.

OP here. I'm one of those kids who went to sleepaway for eight weeks so yes, I agree, when I first signed her up, two weeks felt like nothing. But now that it's here it feels like a long time. But I appreciate what you wrote and like the idea that she should act how she wants to feel and feelings will follow. i'm not sure she's capable of that right now but it might be a good strategy down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm taking my 10 year old DD to sleepaway camp tomorrow. It's a 2 week session and it's her first time at sleepaway. She's going with her best friend and it was her idea to go. But I'm really anxious about how things will go tomorrow. She did tell me today that she's scared, and we had a good talk about it and I told her some stories from when I went to sleepaway as a kid, about how nervous I was but how much I loved it after I settled in. The rest of the day she's seemed fine and was really calm while we were packing. But I'm trying to prepare myself for tears tomorrow when it's time to say goodbye. Any advice from those who have come before me? DD is sort of an introvert-extrovert. She wants to be social but has some social anxiety which she's been going to therapy for in the last few months, and of course that is compounding (or is the core of) my anxiety about drop off. Any advice/words of wisdom would be hugely appreciated. Thanks.

I was a total introvert as a child (and I still am!) but one thing I LOVED with all my heart and soul was sleep away camp. I went every year on scholarship until I became a CTA. I even worked as a GS counselor one year but was placed in a leadership position before I was ready and cracked. I haven't been back since but so many amazing friendships made (thought they only lasted that summer). I would imagine it has a role in shaping me into the person I am now.

OP here. Thanks for this. I was an introverted child too, and I went to sleepaway every summer from the time I was 7, for the whole summer. I don't remember ever being asked if I wanted to go, I was just shipped off. But like you, I loooooovvvved it. Summers at sleepaway were the happiest of my life. I hope she has this same experience. I didn't go with a friend when I was little but I did have my older sister there which is a different (somewhat safer) source of support. Anyway... thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm taking my 10 year old DD to sleepaway camp tomorrow. It's a 2 week session and it's her first time at sleepaway. She's going with her best friend and it was her idea to go. But I'm really anxious about how things will go tomorrow. She did tell me today that she's scared, and we had a good talk about it and I told her some stories from when I went to sleepaway as a kid, about how nervous I was but how much I loved it after I settled in. The rest of the day she's seemed fine and was really calm while we were packing. But I'm trying to prepare myself for tears tomorrow when it's time to say goodbye. Any advice from those who have come before me? DD is sort of an introvert-extrovert. She wants to be social but has some social anxiety which she's been going to therapy for in the last few months, and of course that is compounding (or is the core of) my anxiety about drop off. Any advice/words of wisdom would be hugely appreciated. Thanks.

I was a total introvert as a child (and I still am!) but one thing I LOVED with all my heart and soul was sleep away camp. I went every year on scholarship until I became a CTA. I even worked as a GS counselor one year but was placed in a leadership position before I was ready and cracked. I haven't been back since but so many amazing friendships made (thought they only lasted that summer). I would imagine it has a role in shaping me into the person I am now.

OP here. Thanks for this. I was an introverted child too, and I went to sleepaway every summer from the time I was 7, for the whole summer. I don't remember ever being asked if I wanted to go, I was just shipped off. But like you, I loooooovvvved it. Summers at sleepaway were the happiest of my life. I hope she has this same experience. I didn't go with a friend when I was little but I did have my older sister there which is a different (somewhat safer) source of support. Anyway... thank you.

See! We turned out OK (with the exception of a few typos on my part) so she will be fine. I never had ANYONE to go but strangely made friends quickly. She will be fine. Now start prepping those care packages!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only two weeks. Even if it sucks, it's still ONLY two weeks. Where I come from, kids went for eight weeks. So two weeks is NOTHING. Plus she's going with a friend. Tell her to reach out to other kids who LOOK how she FEELS on the inside. Tell her to act the way she wants to feel, and the feelings will follow.

Sleepaway camps are totally prepared to deal with homesickness, introversion, etc. Whatever your DD throws at them, they'll be able to handle.

OP here. I'm one of those kids who went to sleepaway for eight weeks so yes, I agree, when I first signed her up, two weeks felt like nothing. But now that it's here it feels like a long time. But I appreciate what you wrote and like the idea that she should act how she wants to feel and feelings will follow. i'm not sure she's capable of that right now but it might be a good strategy down the road.

I didn't even know that there were places that let you do just two weeks. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

She will be fine. This is how kids grow up. They face fears and get through them. You are doing the right thing by allowing her to have this experience. My friend's son is starting college 12 hrs away from home this month and he has never slept away from home more than one night. My son is at camp now and he loves it. Your DD has a friend already so she will be fine. I cried briefly when I dropped my son off at camp for the first time but don't worry about that. It's normal.

[Anonymous]

It's too late now since you're probably dropping her off, but my advice to you would be to drop her off with a big smile and good cheer. Do not let her see you get anxious or teary. "I'm so glad you get to do this, it seems like such a wonderful place. Love you, have a great time!" She will be homesick for the first few days (or a week) and then she will likely settle in and really enjoy it. She will then learn that she can do something without you and tackle some anxiety and fear.

[Anonymous]

My 7 1/2 yo DD has been gone for a week at camp in NH. There were tears the night before and also at drop-off, but now, a week into camp and she is loving it. Her letters are all happy, she looks super happy in all the pics they are posting on the camp website, and I just got a call from the head counselor with an update, telling me how much she loves it She is doing 3 1/2 weeks. This is her first (of many I am sure) time and she knew no one. I'm sure your DD will have an awesome time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only two weeks. Even if it sucks, it's still ONLY two weeks. Where I come from, kids went for eight weeks. So two weeks is NOTHING. Plus she's going with a friend. Tell her to reach out to other kids who LOOK how she FEELS on the inside. Tell her to act the way she wants to feel, and the feelings will follow.

Sleepaway camps are totally prepared to deal with homesickness, introversion, etc. Whatever your DD throws at them, they'll be able to handle.

OP here. I'm one of those kids who went to sleepaway for eight weeks so yes, I agree, when I first signed her up, two weeks felt like nothing. But now that it's here it feels like a long time. But I appreciate what you wrote and like the idea that she should act how she wants to feel and feelings will follow. i'm not sure she's capable of that right now but it might be a good strategy down the road.

I didn't even know that there were places that let you do just two weeks. Interesting.

Plenty also offer only one-week sessions - really good for the first-time sleep away experience. My DD did a couple of separate one-week sessions this summer and is dying to do a two-week session for next summer. She had a blast!

[Anonymous]

^^^ Forgot to mention that she even cried when I came to pick her up to go home! She really loved it and didn't want to leave. But it gives her something to look forward to for next year.

[Anonymous]

I was in your daughter's position 25 years ago, and sleepaway camp was a life changer for me. Such a great experience and made me so much more confident and independent. I had begged my parents to send me, but definitely was very nervous when the time came (and remember crying as they pulled away). Chances are, it will be a wonderful experience for her.

I worked as a camp counselor for many years, and in all that time, I only remember 1 or 2 kids who really had long-lasting home sickness. Many kids were sad for a night or two, but by the end of the first week, were doing great. Two (or more) weeks was often better than just one, since it gave the kids an opportunity to really adjust. I'm sure this differs by camp, but at least where I worked (where we worked hard to make sure everyone was included and adjusting well), some of the kids who really grew the most at camp were those who struggled a bit socially at home. It was really cool to see.

My best advice is to stay upbeat when you say goodbye, and make it relatively quick. If she's upset, acknowledge it might feel a bit scary but remind her (without dwelling on the fact) that this is something she wanted to do, and that you know she is going to do great and have such a wonderful time. Give her a kiss, then get out of there and trust the counselors will take over if she has a hard time transitioning.

My mom always put on a brave face, but for whatever reason broke down in tears when she dropped me off at camp the summer I was 13. By that point, camp was the highlight of my year and I had no reservations about going, but my mom's teary goodbye was still pretty disconcerting and has stuck with me until today. Try not to do that!

[Anonymous]

OP here, and just want to thank you all for your posts, they are making me feel a lot better. Drop off actually went really well. I read the 10:19 post about being cheerful when I say goodbye while we were still in the car and it went well. Luckily DD's friend arrived while we were getting the camp tour so at that point she was like "later, mom!" I am still anxious, just wondering how she's doing but all your posts are truly helping me keep my neurosis at a relatively healthy level.