Has your tween ever stolen from a classmate, friend, etc?

[Anonymous]

DD just turned 12. Returned from camp and I found a few items while unpacking which don't belong to her. DH asked her about it and the story keeps changing. WWYD? FWIW, family life has been very stressful for last few months - events beyond our control - and will probably be this way for at last two more months. We are concerned that she is very fragile yet worry what will happen if we don't address.

[Anonymous]

No. She borrowed both a shirt and a belt from two different friends and had both for a few months. I pushed her to give each back next time she saw her friends. But she doesn't steal. She's 12.5.

I would take the items from your DD, take pics and email the pics to the camp and say "My daughter came home with this shirt but I think it may belong to Abby or Ella from Bunk 2C the week of July 12 - can you check? We'd be happy to mail the shirt to them."

[Anonymous]

Early on in ES, one of my kids took a fun eraser off someone's desk. He was talked to by both the teacher and us and it hasn't happened again. My others haven't done this. I think 12 is too old to give her leeway on this. If this happened at my house, I would tell my child that I knew he/she took it and I don't believe the stories. Then I would wait them out. Mine will confess within a short period of time. Then I'd deal with it and honestly, I'd come down really hard on mine. This isn't a little thing.

[Anonymous]

AT 12 you need to take this head on and she needs to be the one that emails with the camp or bunkmates to return the items. She must suffer the responsibility/consequences of her actions.

She impulsively stole things that weren't hers -- most likely for the thrill of it -- and she will do it again if she thinks she can get away with it.

Don't let this become a habit. At 12 she is old enough to go to a juvenile detention center.

[Anonymous]

I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

[Anonymous]

Me again, by the way I was joking about the PP, I think that reply is over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

I can see the shirts, but the one item of gear she has just didn't end up in her bag by accident. She covets the label, so I don't think it was by chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me again, by the way I was joking about the PP, I think that reply is over the top.

I don't necessarily think the PP's reply was over the top - I took it as more cautionary. Some LE +/or parents are overzealous and may want an example made of the juvenile offender. How many times does the punishment not fit the crime - too many to count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

Wow. Glad other parents are less naive and more responsible than you seem to be. Kudos to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

Wow. Glad other parents are less naive and more responsible than you seem to be. Kudos to OP.

I agree with PP based on my memories of summer camp. Everyone borrowed stuff from one another. A good portion didn't get sorted out before people went home.

Still, I like the idea of taking a photo and sending to the other parents. If it's expensive stuff, I'd want it back if I was the mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

Wow. Glad other parents are less naive and more responsible than you seem to be. Kudos to OP.

LOL, yes I can see why you felt you needed to say "12 year olds are old enough for a juvenile detention center".

I get it! Thanks for your input!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

Wow. Glad other parents are less naive and more responsible than you seem to be. Kudos to OP.

LOL, yes I can see why you felt you needed to say "12 year olds are old enough for a juvenile detention center".

I get it! Thanks for your input!

You're mistaken. I know it's hard to fathom, but there are more than two people involved in this conversation.

[Anonymous]

The only thing my DD has stolen from her friends is halloween candy: after they go trick-or-treating, they will trade...and my daughter admitted to taking a bit of her friend's candy.

As punishment, we donated the candy to the troops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would agree with the PP except for one thing: summer camp. Girls (all of mine went/go) are notorious for "borrowing" from each other and often the communal laundry does end up in kids getting the wrong items.

I wouldn't give it a moments thought. Now, if it were the school year that would be different but camp is a whole other world.

My dd also had changing stories and we interrogated her and we found out that they swapped stuff for the fun off it.

So she came back with a more expensive backpack but she also gave away a more expensive and newer sweater for some cheap old worn out thing. They basically just decided to swap their things for fun. I personally wouldn't wear another girls clothes without washing it but they don't seem to mind. She swapped personal items like drinking bottles, sunglasses or track shoes in that week of camp! Seems like a complete makeover! My ex didn't stop it till i had her come during the weekend but it was too late to have her get her stuff back and the things back to the other girls' houses!

But stealing, i dont think so. Usually its either a forgetful mistake or an intended swap in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

as kids. I think we all do. Have u not taken a pen ornpencil from a friend or even from the office?