All boys' schools- good decision?

[Anonymous]

I am a parent of a boy who will be starting K in the fall of 2010. I myself went to an all girls' school for HS and was really glad I did. DS is a typical boy. Lots of energy, bright, etc. He is also very verbal too. I have been considering sending him to an all boys' school starting in K (we don't live in DC) and was wondering if anyone else has done this. Would you do it again? My son would probably not fit into a regular public school K class b/c he is used to small classes at his preschool which is play based. I used to volunteer at a local school and while it is a nice place, it isn't a good fit for him. Lots of sitting, paying attention for long stretches of time, little or no recess time, etc. Even in the PE class, they spend a good half of the class sitting and listening. Plus I really object to the huge emphasis placed on testing. So there are a few all boys' schools around that begin in K. For moms who have chosen to send their sons to such a school, what should I look for? What kinds of questions should I ask? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Your arguments sound like they are for smaller private schools and not just for public schools. As a girls' school alum, I would send a dd to a single-sex school in a heartbeat. I'd have to seriously think about it for a boy, though. To me the benefits of a girls' school are about eliminating distractions in the classroom from more aggressive peers who generally require more of a teachers' attention and letting girls feel free to be intellectually aggressive. For a boy, I think I'd rather them have the aggression-mitigating force of girls in the classroom. And frankly, I felt like the guys I knew in HS from all-boys had an attitude toward women I didn't appreciate.

[Anonymous]

There's an emerging school of thought that it's very beneficial for boys to be in all-boys' classes or even schools. I haven't really read up on it, since that's not on my radar. Like PP mentioned, we are looking at smaller private schools, which may answer several of your needs. Not necessarily all-boys, but at least for elementary school, I don't see any drawbacks with that.

[Anonymous]

OP, what you describe you can get in a co-ed private school as well (less testing, smaller class size, more activity opportunities), not necessarily only an all boys' school. Unless you have other reasons for considering an all boys school, you could look into coed as well.

I went to an all girls school, that was academically very strong. My overall experience was good in it, however, when I moved to college, there was a period of adjustment during the freshman year. If I find what i like in an all girls' school I would enroll my dd in it, but if I find two schools that offer similar methods one being same sex and the other co-ed, I would go for the co-ed, and may be spare my dd some of the adjustment period later when she grows up.

[Anonymous]

My son went to co-ed elementary and then to an all-boys school in middle school. I don't know of any all-boys schools that start in kindergarten. Which school(s) are you considering?

[Anonymous]

single sex for girls is GREAT. I loved NCS and my friends are confident women today. St Albans and Landon? Another story. I think boys need all the help they can get relating to and respecting girls. Isolating them in an all-boys school is a risky idea. IMO

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for everyone's thought on the matter. I no longer live in DC but there are a few all boys' schools in this area. They all have a great reputation for understanding and educating boys as well as teaching them to be gentlemen. I will also be closing looking at other coed private schools that treat boys fairly and not like they have diseases b/c they aren't well, like girls.

[Anonymous]

I know my son is thriving at his all-boys school precisely because there aren't any girls there. At his previous school, the girls were the source of a lot of mean and disruptive behavior, and, at least for middle school, the school really caters to the way many boys learn: lots of hands-on activity, outdoor breaks every two periods, and physical activity of some sort every afternoon. For my active 6th grader, this is a perfect environment.

[Anonymous]

Boys, too, need to have the "distractions" limited, i.e., it works both ways. I went to all-boys school from 7-12 and don't regret it at all. Academics and the arts were very high level and very competitive. I think there's enough contact between STA and NCS to mitigate the "isolation" in that case. Freshman year of college is all about adjustment; I don't think a single-sex high school contributes much additional burden.

[Anonymous]

15:11 - I'm a Holton alum and I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't send sons to StA or Landon (or Gonzaga or Prep for that matter), but would gladly send girls back to Holton. Boys should go co-ed, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Some of the aspects of the all boys' schools that I like have to do w/ their understanding of how boys learn. I haven't seen any coed private schools that come close to having breaks every hour and a half, PE everyday and lots of hands-on activities. My local public school is the exact opposite of this. It is like they are doing the exact opposite there of what is developmentally appropriate! I chose a pre-school b/c it understands how children learn and how they develop at different rates. I just want to find a school that will be a good match and I've heard that some boys' schools really do know boys. I went to an all-girls' HS and didn't have any problems adjusting in college. Judging from the girls in our neighborhood that my son sometimes plays with, I don't know that he would be missing all that much. They seem to be very judgmental, catty and mean spirited (and they are all under age 6).

[Anonymous]

I attended a co-ed school K-8, then moved to an all-boys high school for more of an academic challenge (which had nothing to do with the co-ed/single-sex nature of either school). Although I was very apprehensive at first, after my first couple of weeks I loved it and I still treasure my memories of high school (ten years ago).

I often read posters on this board claiming that all-boys schools are some type of "Lord of the Flies" experience. Having not been a jock (although my HS was known for its sports programs), this was most certainly not the case at my school. I cannot speak for single-sex education at anything below the HS-levels (middle school is a hard and awkward time no matter what school you go to), but as a guy in high school I thought it was great and plan on sending my son the same route if he so chooses. Granted, my school was Jesuit (though I'm not Catholic) so it could of course be different at non-Jesuit, all-boys schools. I happen to be friends with a couple of guys who went to Georgetown Prep and Gonzaga locally, and their experiences sounded very similar to mine.

Though probably obvious, you really should visit the school with your child to get a good feel, rather than just listening to some knee-jerk reactions from people who just heard a tale from a friend of a friend of a friend. I just can't stand the false stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

I had a very similar experience to the PP at 14:04. Coed through 7th grade, and then all-boys after that (not in the DC area). Not a jock at all. I resented the school at first, primarily because there were no girls there. However, I came to realize that the all-boys aspect made it a much better learning environment, because all the boys were less distracted with competing for the attention of girls. Boys were much more willing to act silly and take risks at school when there is no danger of looking stupid in front of girls. For example, it's a lot easier to offer up a novel idea in class, or sign up for the school chorus, or play a sport that you stink at. My own transition in college was seamless. I know a lot of people seem to think that all-boys schools just breed little misogynists, but I did not find that to be the case at all.

I'm sure a lot depends on the individual school. You should visit the school yourself, and not rely just on the second-hand info that gets posted on DCUM. It's easy to stereotype graduates of all-boys schools, but often not accurate. Try talking to moms of current students at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for everyone's thought on the matter. I no longer live in DC but there are a few all boys' schools in this area. They all have a great reputation for understanding and educating boys as well as teaching them to be gentlemen. I will also be closing looking at other coed private schools that treat boys fairly and not like they have diseases b/c they aren't well, like girls.

Are you in Baltimore? If so there is Boys Latin, and Gilman. There is also St. Paul's that starts in 6th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for everyone's thought on the matter. I no longer live in DC but there are a few all boys' schools in this area. They all have a great reputation for understanding and educating boys as well as teaching them to be gentlemen. I will also be closing looking at other coed private schools that treat boys fairly and not like they have diseases b/c they aren't well, like girls.

Are you in Baltimore? If so there is Boys Latin, and Gilman. There is also St. Paul's that starts in 6th.

OP- Yes, I do live just south of Baltimore so I am considering all of the above. I don't know anyone w/ kids at these schools to ask though. Is it acceptable to ask during a tour if you can speak to some current parents?