how to create a happy child

Anonymous
DC is 6 and doesn't seem happy. Wakes up grumpy, complains a lot, pessimistic, didn't have the joy most kids have. Very tough to parent! What can I do to help? Can't and therapy right now.
Anonymous
Sorry for typos- on phone.

Thoughts I have: gratitude journal, volunteer, remove sugar from diet, post reminders to smile around the house...
Anonymous
Psychologist
Anonymous
Agree with therapy, but that is so har to orchestrate. Treat his issue like an adult issue. Is it rhat his life isn't falling as he wants? Ask him what he envisions his happiest life being.
Anonymous
When I was too strict I sucked the joy out of my kid. Now we let loose, play music dance, play games, grab ice cream just because, gave a bit of a water fight in the bath etc.

Ask them what would make him the happiest and just love them and let some rules go and let them be a kid.

Good luck op.
Anonymous
A lot of it is nature. I was a VERY serious kid. All my make believe stuff involved really horrible things - kidnappings and deaths and child abuse. I was raised in a totally normal suburban middle class home. I was just a dark, dark kid. I pretty much always woke up on the wrong side of bed, and was super sensitive and quick to get my feelings hurt.

My kid is super happy-go-lucky. She takes a while to wake up in the morning, but once she gets going she's happy and doesn't get down easily. She can laugh off an insult, forgive a friend, make friends easily, defuse stressful situations, and endear herself to people quickly.

I say it's nature.
Anonymous
Sorry it's nature and largely immutable. That was the thesis of my PhD dissertation from a very respectable joint.

In all seriousness though it's okay to be like that. Not everyone should be super happy and bubbly all the time.
Anonymous
First of all, you may have a very different child six months from now. What is going on this summer? Is the child in camp? What activities is he engaged in? Are friends on the scene or off in other camps and not accessible? Are there changes in the home right now, or parents working longer hours, or sibling ill? Any identifiable source of stress?

Can you make time for one on one talking, a long walk with discussion of how he is feeling, thinking. No right or wrong or criticism, just talking.

Also the Gesell institute books about "Your six year old" are good. Kids around this age tend to think the whole world is against them.

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Six-Year-Old-Louise-Bates-Ames/dp/0440506743/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1437817604&sr=1-1&keywords=your+six+year+old+loving+and+defiant&pebp=1437817592648&perid=176T7RRMAHZCN78E6WNX
Anonymous
Parent the child you have. Not the child you want.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Parent the child you have. Not the child you want.



This is quickly becoming my least favorite saying and is not helpful in anyway. The OP is looking for help because she is worried about her child...that is called "parenting the child you have."

OP, you may want to try a child psychologist or even if your school has a counselor that you trust and like. I realize that it is summer, but maybe you could email them. good luck!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sorry it's nature and largely immutable. That was the thesis of my PhD dissertation from a very respectable joint.

In all seriousness though it's okay to be like that. Not everyone should be super happy and bubbly all the time.


Nature and nurture both play roles. That's common knowledge.
Anonymous
SLEEP. Sleep. sleep.

Your child may need more sleep than he is getting. Move bedtime up by 1 hour and keep doing that until you see a change or get to 6:30pm.

It may be something else, but sleep is the most probable answer and the easiest solution to look at. Do everyone a favor and work on getting that child to be early for a while.
Anonymous
Is this the way your child has always been? If so, it is most likely his nature and you need to learn to deal with it. If your child has changed into this child recently, you might have something to work with.
Anonymous
If the child is getting enough sleep and food and is in a happy home (parents not arguing, gets enough time to play, etc...), then it's probably his personality type.
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