When toddler prefers grandparent to parent

[Anonymous]

I am feeling a bit sad tonight. I am a single adoptive mom of a 21 month old. (Adopted at birth.) She is strong-willed, and generally sweet to me. We are vacationing with grandma now. My daughter is often choosing grandma over me. She will even scream "No!" when I try to hold her because she wants to go to grandma. Is this normal? Any advice or kind words? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal! Check out all the threads by moms who are upset that their kids prefer dad ... and dads who are upset the kid only wants mom. It means nothing. I had a period of time when my kids preferred DH to me ... it really hurt. But it was just a short phase. Really ... don't worry about it. Be glad that your DD is making bonds with others. Grandma is new and exciting. But you're the one that is there all the time. You'll need to grow thicker skin ... there are plenty of tough moments to come when you have a kid. Laugh it off.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks, PP!! I got teary reading your response. Just what I needed. And, yes, I do need to grow a thick skin

[Anonymous]

My kids aren't adopted and they both prefer grandparents to either parent. Grandparents are special and they often are better at giving 100% of their attention to the kid (not trying to get other necessary things done).

[Anonymous]

Has nothing to do with adoption - grandparents are more fun. Don't overthink the adoption stuff.

[Anonymous]

Very normal. Grandparents are fun. No rules! They play with you whenever you ask! They spoil you! Parents have to be the bad guys.

[Anonymous]

Yes totally normal. My daughter who I spend almost every waking hour with prefers my Mom when she is around. I actually love it because it gives me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes totally normal. My daughter who I spend almost every waking hour with prefers my Mom when she is around. I actually love it because it gives me a break.

Oh and my daughter is also 21 months!

[Anonymous]

It's just a phase. Promise.

[Anonymous]

Even when my kids are like this, no one but me can comfort them at bedtime or if they get hurt. That usually eases the sting.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP. Thanks for all the helpful posts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling a bit sad tonight. I am a single adoptive mom of a 21 month old. (Adopted at birth.) She is strong-willed, and generally sweet to me. We are vacationing with grandma now. My daughter is often choosing grandma over me. She will even scream "No!" when I try to hold her because she wants to go to grandma. Is this normal? Any advice or kind words? Thank you.

Grandparents are cooler than us. They give 100 attention to kids, always ready to spoile them. Unfair competition. Completely normal. It maybe worse...when they seem to prefer the nice neighbors

[Anonymous]

My kids would throw me under a bus to get to their 'PopPop'!

[Anonymous]

DS is now 4. From at least 1 grandpa has been his favorite person. If he is in the room DH and I are chopped liver if Grandpa is willing to play or hold him. I do not think you should be concerned (although it is natural to be sad/upset inside a bit), OP. Some people just are kid magnets.