How old would your DS have to be to

[Anonymous]

spend the summer days alone? Or would you even consider this? I just learned that my nephew who is 12 is spending the summer at home alone. This really strikes me as bad parenting and now I am wondering if I am overreacting. We just spent a week with them on vacation and he is a pretty immature kid. What is the thinking out there on this?

[Anonymous]

Do you mean while the parents are at work, or do you mean 24+ hours by himself?

At 12, I should hope he's able to be alone by himself while his parents are at work.

[Anonymous]

Yes, while his mom is at work. I guess what bothers me is that he is not involved in any activities and is alone.

[Anonymous]

If my 12 year old wanted to do that, and I felt confident that he would keep himself safe and follow the rules, I would let him.

[Anonymous]

For an off day or a few days? 12 is totally fine. I don't think it is fine for the entire summer.

[Anonymous]

Every day all day.

[Anonymous]

He could stay home a week here and there. But I wouldn't allow a 12 year old to just sit around all summer. That's asking for trouble.

[Anonymous]

The issue isnt him being alone, it's him having nothing to do for months on end.

[Anonymous]

Is he spending all day, every day, all by himself inside the house, with no friends he can see on his own, nowhere that he can get to on his own, and nothing that he can do out of the house on his own? Then yes, that's a problem.

If he can go places and do things, it's just that he's unsupervised -- then no, that's not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Is he alone if he has the Internet available to him? Does he structure his day in any way? Is he connected to an online community? Does he have chores or a reading list to get through this summer?

[Anonymous]

What an obnoxious aunt you are, OP! Let me guess, you have babies, toddlers or no kids.

[Anonymous]

When my son was 12 I'd have left him alone for a day. But not every day. 12 and 13 is when the fire fascination shoots way up in boys and having him puttering around the house all day every day would not be a good idea. One day here or there, sure.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. He does have a friend who lives near by so I am sure he will see him. I guess I am a old fuddy duddy, I am surprised by almost everyone being okay with this. I guess I'll have to be okay with it too.

[Anonymous]

My 10 year old nephew and 9 year old niece are doing this now. I did the same thing when I was a kid.

Seeing that I've hired a 14 yo babysitter, I hardly see how 12 staying alone should be a problem.

[Anonymous]

I was left alone at 12 while my parents worked. I did have an older sister who was 15, but she often had other things going on. She was not in charge of watching me.

I had a list of chores to do every day. They varied from mowing the lawn to vacuuming the house to cleaning my room up to doing dishes etc. I normally slept until 10 or 11, ate a few meals, watched TV that was forbidden, and around 3pm did a mad dash of my chores before my mom got home at 4pm. She normally called the check in (and wake us up) in the morning and I'd call her almost every day too.

She worked maybe 5 miles from home so could be home quickly but we never needed to.