Surviving LONG visits from in-laws?
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Anonymous
| My FIL is visiting for four months. (He is widowed and lives in another country.) I'm looking for tips and advice from those who have BTDT as far as not being irritated by having him around for so long. It's not the first long visit by any stretch, but it's the first long visit that is THIS long. We're only at the halfway point and I just feel like crying from irritation. I try to be compassionate, I try to have empathy, and I try to imagine being in his shoes. Those things help, but I still long for privacy, solitude, and just our nuclear family. Four months is a long time. Any advice? |
Anonymous
| That is a looong time. Does he have his own room on a different floor? |
Anonymous
Having a separate in-law suite is key. Mine has a kitchen, laundry, and separate entry/exit, so they are completely free to do their own thing on their own schedule. |
Anonymous
Honey, my senile FIL has been living in our house for over 2 years. Other than moderate mental impairment and beginnings of incontinence, he is in great physical shape, so will be with us for a good long time yet. Feel better? |
Anonymous
| Can you get away by yourself for a weekend? Go visit a friend or your own family or just be alone for a few days to recharge? Can you see if he'd get involved in some activities at a senior center or go do some sightseeing on a senior tour for a few days or a week? My DH has older relatives in PA who like to go on bus tours like that. |
Anonymous
| thats a really long time. are you sure he is going back? do you have kids to care for too? |
Anonymous
| I would try to get a weekend away or at the very least a day trip. I wouldn't feel guilty about it, if he is able to take care of himself, since 4 months is a long time. |
Anonymous
|
Are there any other relatives he could go stay with for a bit?
I'd go mad. When I've had in-laws staying for a week, I took to hiding out in my home office, "working." |
Anonymous
My friend has CRAZY in-laws, and she takes a bottle of wine into the bathroom and drunk-group-texts us. Her: hey you guys? Us: Uh-oh. what'd she do this time Stephanie? Her: which of you are available to hide a body with me tomorrow? I found the perfect spot. |
Anonymous
| I like my ILs, and anything more than a weekend is too much. I feel very sorry for you, but you also had a part in this happening. You could've put your foot down to your spouse. In fact, start with telling spouse how you feel. |
Anonymous
| I think you have to accept that it is going to be annoying and frustrating, as being family often is, even when everyone is likable and reasonable. But there's a reason to keep doing it, I assume. |
Anonymous
|
There is nowhere in the world that is so hard to get to that you need to stay for FOUR MONTHS. Nowhere. One month max next time. And even that sounds like an eternity.
Find other relatives and ship him off the visit them. Or yes, you need to go away, by yourself, anywhere you want. No kids, no DH, no FIL. |
Anonymous
|
Definitely think you deserve a girls weekend. Asap.
I agree about looking into day trips or a weekend trip for him. Or maybe DH and him could take the kids away for a couple days. Anything to give you alone time! |