Distant cousin telling tales about my ex college boyfriend

[Anonymous]

My third cousin was like a sister to me as kids. Her family moved to a suburb in elementary school. I went to a commuter inner city college, and I paid my own way. She flunked out of a college that was away from home, and she enrolled at the same college as I. I was happy there. I was dating the editor of the school newspaper after he pursued me. We were friends for a year first. He was my first serious boyfriend. His family was very well off and lived in a huge mansion near the college. This guy and his family were very good to me. We spent almost everyday together at school, holding hands, just a great relationship.

In college, my cousin went behind my back and invited my boyfriend and the school newspaper photographer to take and publish photographs of her and her friend in a beauty contest, where they had to pay to enter by getting sponsors. I was not even angry with her, or jealous in the slightest. From my perspective, it caused no problems between me and my boyfriend.

That was 25 years ago! And ex boyfriend and I are friends on Facebook. He is married to a lovely lady and they have a young son.

My cousin revealed to me that in her mind, she had the opportunity to actually marry my ex boyfriend in college, if it were not for me. We were all raised Catholic at the time, and I was devout, went to church, virgin, wanted to have sex after marriage. My cousin was not. She told me that my ex boyfriend did not really love me as much as I thought he did. He did not cheat on me, though. And as for sex, we did plenty, and we were very sexual and intimate with each other. We travelled together, made out like crazy every time we were together.

To my cousin, because this ex boyfriend was such a great catch back then, she thinks I was moving slowly with him, with no intention to marry him, which isn't true, and that she could have had him if not for me!

She is now not speaking to me. She is unhappily married with a boyfriend for two years and a teenage daughter.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

??? Ummmm she's a nut????

No loss there. I don't get what tales she is telling though. I'm sure everyone knows she lives in her own imaginarium built on bitterness and what ifs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:??? Ummmm she's a nut????

No loss there. I don't get what tales she is telling though. I'm sure everyone knows she lives in her own imaginarium built on bitterness and what ifs.

The tale she is telling, is that she could have married my boyfriend in college if it weren't for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:??? Ummmm she's a nut????

No loss there. I don't get what tales she is telling though. I'm sure everyone knows she lives in her own imaginarium built on bitterness and what ifs.

The tale she is telling, is that she could have married my boyfriend in college if it weren't for me.

That's nice. I could have been a rich professional athlete if it weren't for my lack of athletic ability.

Just ignore it. It's not like you married the guy and you're worried she still carries a torch for him.

[Anonymous]

I also have a cousin who I treated like a sister.... Until she stabbed me in the back. Get rid of her. She sounds poisonous and she's just trying to hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is having a midlife crisis and some longstanding envy of you is surfacing. I've never found a way to overcome envy in a relationship, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Who cares. Maybe she could have married him if it weren't for you. That means he liked you better than her. Why do you even care? It is so stupid.

[Anonymous]

I would say, "you're right! Want to go get coffee?"

[Anonymous]

I reported the crazy lady for you OP.

To your question at hand, I think your cousin sounds nuts and is looking for a distraction from her current sucky situation. Plenty of people reimagine what might have been when their marriage isn't in an awesome phase, but most people have the wherewithal to keep it together and keep it to themselves. Your cousin does not. So, sounds like you lost nothing there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:??? Ummmm she's a nut????

No loss there. I don't get what tales she is telling though. I'm sure everyone knows she lives in her own imaginarium built on bitterness and what ifs.

The tale she is telling, is that she could have married my boyfriend in college if it weren't for me.

Even if that were true, so WHAT? You're talking about something that happened 25 years ago. Do you see how ridiculous that is? Your cousin sounds crazy. Why exactly do you care that she's not talking to you? I don't want crazy people talking to me.

[Anonymous]

Who cares if it was true 25 years who, or not true but your cousin believes it to be true? This ex isn't your DH, it's completely irrelevant.

Let it go. And if she's actually not talking to you over this, that's utterly absurd, but it's on her. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Your cousin is unhappy and delusional.

Stop being defensive. Be gracious and show some pity. Smile, nod, and move on.

[Anonymous]

So what? Does anyone care? Why do you care?