I think I stepped over a line

[Anonymous]

We are on vacation and I asked my 12 year old nephew to help with dinner. He wasn't doing anything important at the time. He looked at me like I was nuts and said he would. It was a simple task, getting the corn silks off of ears of corn. His grandmother asked his mom what he was doing and she said, "helping with dinner." This was the one and only time all wee that he was asked to do anything. I just asked him because he was there and thought he might like the idea of helping. He seemed to. The two of them just shot me looks that could kill. Shouldn't children be included in dinner prep? I don't have a child of that age, but I remember setting the table, making salads, etc. Was I out of line?

[Anonymous]

When you eat, just say "and thanks Scott for shucking the corn, you did a great job!" and maybe he will feel pride in helping and his mom/grandma will be proud too.

[Anonymous]

No you weren't out of line.
Good God, what is this world coming to?

[Anonymous]

Nope! And tomorrow I'd ask him to do another simple chore. MAKE his mom confront you and she'll look like an azz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you eat, just say "and thanks Scott for shucking the corn, you did a great job!" and maybe he will feel pride in helping and his mom/grandma will be proud too.

Great tip, thank you!

[Anonymous]

At least OP cares about the boy, even if no one else does. Why would they want to raise a cripple?

Kudos to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell would they mind if you asked him to help? I enlist the help of my niece and nephews all the time. I also expect my sister to ask my DD for help (DS is still a baby, though, so I probably WOULD look at her cross-eyed if she asked him to help with anything).

Giving kids chores and having them contribute is a great way to make them confident and self-sufficient when they become adults. Expecting that they will never help out is a great way to breed entitled, spoiled brats.

[Anonymous]

in his grandmas time, boys didn't do kitchen chores. That's why she had the reaction. Just forget about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are on vacation and I asked my 12 year old nephew to help with dinner. He wasn't doing anything important at the time. He looked at me like I was nuts and said he would. It was a simple task, getting the corn silks off of ears of corn. His grandmother asked his mom what he was doing and she said, "helping with dinner." This was the one and only time all wee that he was asked to do anything. I just asked him because he was there and thought he might like the idea of helping. He seemed to. The two of them just shot me looks that could kill. Shouldn't children be included in dinner prep? I don't have a child of that age, but I remember setting the table, making salads, etc. Was I out of line?

We get it. You think kids today are coddled.

You're not wrong.

What was your tone when you asked? Was it inviting or more of an order?

[Anonymous]

Unless he's deathly allergic to corn I can't see a problem. That's just crazy.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure his mother and grandmother weren't just surprised he complied? I can ask my son's friends to do things their parents can't, because of that pesky parent-teen relationship.

Anyway, good job for including him.

[Anonymous]

In my world, everyone helps. Fourteen people are in the kitchen, three are setting the table, one is getting ice, etc. everyone helps. The kids clear the table at the end of the Meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are on vacation and I asked my 12 year old nephew to help with dinner. He wasn't doing anything important at the time. He looked at me like I was nuts and said he would. It was a simple task, getting the corn silks off of ears of corn. His grandmother asked his mom what he was doing and she said, "helping with dinner." This was the one and only time all wee that he was asked to do anything. I just asked him because he was there and thought he might like the idea of helping. He seemed to. The two of them just shot me looks that could kill. Shouldn't children be included in dinner prep? I don't have a child of that age, but I remember setting the table, making salads, etc. Was I out of line?

We get it. You think kids today are coddled.

You're not wrong.

What was your tone when you asked? Was it inviting or more of an order?

It was inviting, as in, "Larlo would you please take the silks off of the corn?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Are you sure his mother and grandmother weren't just surprised he complied? I can ask my son's friends to do things their parents can't, because of that pesky parent-teen relationship.

Anyway, good job for including him.

You know. that may have been it! He never listens to his mom and is in that bratty stage right now.

[Anonymous]

You were great, OP. I was especially interested that your nephew seemed to want to help. But even if he didn't, so what. Kids are part of the household and should help the household run. Don't worry about grandma or his mom. Keep involving him if it seems reasonable.