To the op who's son is trying to cut you out of his life...

[Anonymous]

From a daughter who knows how he feels.

I grew up in a home much like yours. My brother was always destined for greatness. That was through basketball. Turns out, once in college on a full scholarship, he divided he didn't want that life anymore. My dad has never been the same. For 16 years now, he has been a raging angry man. I am still living in their home as I finish college, but it is very difficult. He will find a piece of mail on the floor and go off into an angry tirade about how he demands respect. I must say, having a mom like you makes it much worse. A lot of times my mom looks to me and asks me why did I chose to do something that would bother him. When I stand up to him, she tells me that I cannot speak to my father in a rude way and that I must pick my battles. They will never understand. I love my mother very much, but she had defended him through every screaming fit, threat and rage. I know that I must "forgive" but honestly I'll never forget. Reading your post, you sound much like how I expect my mom to sound in about 3 years. The chorus of "I don't know why she is being selfish and trying to cut us out of her life". I want her to understand that it won't be a sudden thing, it will have been years in the making. Please understand my point of view as an outsider. Please just give your son respect and love.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. You really need to get your ducks in a row and leave. This is what I did (except there was no screaming, but more irrationality, guilting and manipulation than I could bear).
Best of luck to you. Please don't feel any guilt at all.