I'm leaving a emotionally abusive relationship

[Anonymous]

I know it's the right thing. But I'm sad, I crying, I'm lonely, I'm in pain.

Doing the right thing just sucks sometimes.

I could use some encouragement right now. The particulars of the abuse aren't important - this was a 20+ year marriage, no kids, and I can support myself. I know people have it much worse. when I get on my feet, (rather than being a crying blob) it is my full intention to devote time volunteering with abused women. Right now I feel like shit and I should feel great for escaping. Help me.

[Anonymous]

You sound strong.

You will help so many.

[Anonymous]

You can do it. You will come through this. The hardest part is deciding to leave. Stay strong and don't go back.

Start doing one activity a day for yourself- something active and something out of the house. Sign up for a yoga class, or go on a walk in the park, or go to a movie or street festival or event, have lunch or dinner with a friend- anything, but make sure you are doing something almost every day after work and on weekends. You will be building a new life and keeping yourself strong at the same time. And start therapy- it really helps!!

[Anonymous]

One day you will look back and be so glad you left.

Get through day by day.

Time is the greatest healer. It just takes time.

Helping others is the best! You will see why you left, and draw strength from it.

Hugs to you. Day by day, keep on swimming!

[Anonymous]

I agree you sound very strong. What you did is not easy and I commend you for standing in your truth! Wipe away your tears and hold your head high, be the example you want to set for others (men and women) who have the courage to leave.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could give you a big hug. I admire your strength and wish you much peace and happiness in your post-divorce life. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and consider therapy, it was essential to me when I went through my divorce and the aftermath.

[Anonymous]

One foot in front of the other. The leaving is hard. The other hard part will be when you start being treated properly and you realize all over again how bad it was.

But it'll be better now. Change is HARD. That's why so many women go back to their abusers - because the bad environment they know is more comfortable than a new environment they don't know.

You deserve to be safe and happy, and to FEEL safe. Post here for more encouragement any time you need.

[Anonymous]

Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Good for you. Take your life and happiness back. You deserve it!

[Anonymous]

Make a list of the things you don't like about him. Include mean things he has said to you. If you are feeling lonely or missing him, read the list.

[Anonymous]

-Just remember you don't miss him, you miss the idea of him.
-Make a list of all the things he's done to hurt you and keep it on hand when the 2am blues come on and you become weak and only remember the good times
-Have you talked with a professional on how to safely leave an abusive partner? Do not leave him with out talking with someone about how to do it safely. Leaving is the most dangerous time for an abuse victim
-You are stronger than you think you are, you can do this!

[Anonymous]

Do you want to feel more pain? Imagine the rest of your life with this man and then just walk away from it.

[Anonymous]

Be strong OP. I was not able to leave my abusive husband because of my lack of self esteem. He destroyed it. It was a vicious circle. Eventually, he left me like He dumped trash. I got therapy and it helped me tremendously feel like a worthy human being again. It took time. Now I am remarried, I was able to make better choices, see the red flags.... I wish I had the strength to leave and start having a meaningful and balanced life sooner.

[Anonymous]

Virtual hugs.

You don't have kids with that sorry excuse for a man, that's a huge plus.

Exit safely.

You deserve to be treated with decency, dignity, and respect. All he told you are lies, lies, lies.

Get out.

[Anonymous]

I left too!

I agree with a small journal to write down all the things he has done and how it makes you feel. Eight years later and sometimes I miss him, then I read and come to my senses and think "oh yeah he was a complete piece of shit."

You can do this! Good luck !